


Seeking to Seize

by LittleMissWolfie



Series: Individuation [4]
Category: Persona 3, Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disabled Character, Disabled Person of Color, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Rating May Change, deaf!Yu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2019-08-02 16:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 40,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16308503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissWolfie/pseuds/LittleMissWolfie
Summary: Narukami Yu is not the only student to transfer to Yasogami High in 2011.





	1. Get Up, Get Up, It's Time to Get Real

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone, and welcome to this universe's version of Persona 4! This fic is based off the base Persona 4 game, not Golden, simply because I'm too poor to afford a Vita. It's also been a while since I've played P4, so if anything is glaringly incorrect, feel free to correct me! Also feel free to correct me about any misconceptions about Deaf culture, especially Deaf culture in Japan, if I made any mistakes. 
> 
> This story is still in progress. I've written about half of chapter five as of right now, and I will do my best to keep updates regular at a chapter a week. If anything happens to impede that, I will make an update on the series's Tumblr, which I will link in the end notes. Make sure to tell me what y'all think!

Narukami Yu is not the only student to transfer to Yasogami High in 2011.

He’s sitting in the food court with Satonaka and Hanamura the first time he sees them. Konishi-senpai has just walked away, so Hanamura is watching after her, and Satonaka is carefully studying the food court’s menu to decide what she’s going to make Hanamura buy, so Yu is the only one who sees them.

It’s a pair of them, a boy and a girl, sitting at a table near the edge of the food court. The girl is probably the only person Yu has seen wearing the Yasogami uniform correctly, her brown hair resting just past the shoulders of her immaculately ironed uniform blazer, and the boy is wearing a bright yellow scarf that’s so long the ends rest on the concrete floor.

Yu has no reason to care about these students. He barely has reason to care about Satonaka and Hanamura, since he’ll be returning to Tokyo in a year’s time. But something about them intrigues him, draws him to them like a moth to a flame.

He taps on the table to get Hanamura and Satonaka’s attention and scribbles  Who are they? on his notepad.

Satonaka looks at the two other students and shrugs. “I dunno, I’ve never seen them before.” She throws him a grin. “Maybe you’re not the only new kid around here, after all!”

“Do you want to go talk to them?” Hanamura asks. For someone who’s crashed his bike twice in as many ways and had to be helped out of a garbage can, Yu thinks, Hanamura is surprisingly perceptive. Yu nods and pushes his chair back. His fingers curl around his notepad and pencil as he rises. It’s just habit now.

Both students look up as Yu’s small group approaches. The girl, Yu notes, looks much friendlier than the boy. He also notices her bangs are held back by hairpins, arranged to make the Roman numeral XXI. He tells himself to look that up later.

He flips to one of the pages he’s used very often these past few days and turns the pad around to face them.  Hello, my name is Narukami Yu. I am new to Inaba. When he senses they’ve read the page, he then flips it over to the next one, which has also been well used recently.  I am deaf, but if you face me and don’t speak too quickly, I can read your lips.

Yu’s eyes dart to either side so he can see if Hanamura and Satonaka are saying anything. Hanamura, to his surprise, has angled himself so Yu can see his ips. How strangely thoughtful.

After Hanamura and Satonaka also introduce themselves, the girl speaks. “It’s nice to meet you! My name is Shiomi Kotone, and this ray of sunshine sitting across from me is my cousin, Yuki Makoto. We’re both third years at Yasogami High. We just moved here recently, like Narukami-kun, so a friendly face or two is very welcome!”

The boy—Yuki-senpai—waves a lazy hand. “Nice to meet you.” Yu has the distinct impression his tone is sarcastic.

Closer to them, the pull Yu feels is stronger than before. He watches them, scans their faces, searches for any sign they feel the same thing.

They reveal nothing.

Yu, Satonaka, and Hanamura bid them goodbye and return to their table.

* * *

 

The first thing Yu hears in ten years might not even be real.

The low male voice radiates from within his skull. It’s not a voice he remembers from his early life, but it is achingly familiar, like an old friend whose memory has lingered at the back of his mind. **I am thou,** it says,  **and thou art I.**

And his night only gets weirder when he almost falls into the TV.

* * *

 

Yu drops his notepad several times in the TV world.

He’s not used to running with it. His hands are slick with sweat, which makes certain sheets cling to his fingers while the momentum from his pumping arms flings the pad in the opposite direction. He’s pretty sure about a quarter of the pages have been discarded during their frenzied flight.

He’s also pretty sure this weird fog is messing with him. While he’s not exactly an athlete, he’s not out of shape, so he has no feasible reason to be doubled over and panting when they finally return to the area they began in. His throat burns as he desperately gulps air into his mouth, and his limbs feel leaden, like he just ran a marathon.

Hands shaky, Yu scribbles  Are you alright? and shoves it at Hanamura, who is closer to him than Satonaka. He receives and equally shaky thumbs up in return.

Then the bear shows up.

* * *

 

Konishi-senpai is dead.

* * *

 

There’s a man Yu has been seeing in his dreams. He’s old and decrepit, with a long, beaked nose and bloodshot eyes. 

His name is Igor.

He gives Yu a key. He says, “You’ll know what this is for when you need it.”

He disappears.

* * *

 

A bunch of monsters surround him, Hanamura, and the strange bear-thing Hanamura tells him is named Teddie. Yu can’t really understand Teddie very well, since his mouth doesn’t move the same way a human’s mouth does. He gets the feeling this is going to get frustrating.

Yu can see the panic rising in Hanamura, in his body language and in the flashing of his eyes. The deep male voice says,  **Open thine eyes and call forth what is within.**

Yu summons Izanagi.

* * *

 

Yu is confused.

He can tell Hanamura is yelling, and he sees the other Hanamura with glowing yellow eyes, but he can’t see Hanamura’s lips so he doesn’t know what he’s saying. Izanagi says,  **That is your friend’s Shadow. The part of him he wants to hide from the world. If you want him to survive, you need to fight it.**

Yu’s first instinct is to think back at the voice that he doesn’t have friends. That no one wants to hang out with the deaf kid, unless they can get him to talk so they can laugh at his awkward speech. That the closest thing to kindness he usually receives is pity. That, at best, people don’t know what to do with him when they realize he can’t hear.

But.

He doesn’t want Hanamura to die.

So he tightens his grip on his golf club and prepares himself for a fight.

* * *

 

Later, after the Shadow is defeated, after Hanamura awaken to Jiraya, after Teddie helps them return to the real world, after Satonaka yells at them in the middle of Junes and runs away, Hanamura asks Yu to teach him JSL.

He must recognize the bafflement on Yu’s face because he continues, “Your pad isn’t very effective when you have to move around too much, right? Even if I only know the basics, it’ll make it easier to communicate.”

No one has ever offered to learn JSL for him. Even his parents, upon learning he could read lips, stopped signing and asked him to write to them instead, Some have suggested speech therapy, which Yu refused after his classmates began mocking him. Others suggested hearing aids or the Cochlear implant, but Yu’s family isn’t well-off enough to warrant such an expensive purchase.

But Hanamura, a guy Yu has known for barely a week, has offered to learn JSL.

Numb, Yu agrees. They exchange cell numbers and head home.

* * *

 

Yu stops in the flood plain when he sees Amagi sitting by herself.

It’s raining, so she’s sitting in the gazebo, and instead of her school uniform she’s wearing a pink kimono that complements her beautifully. He stops to chat with her for a while.

“Are you getting used to your surroundings?” she asks, lips moving slow. Very slow, like she’s making a concerted effort to speak clearly. While this should endear him, it’s more irritating than anything. When he’s spoken to like this, it makes him feel like a child. 

Nevertheless, he’s polite, and writes  Somewhat, His pad is a little damp from the rain so the writing is faint, and he scowls. Amagi tries to read it but can’t, so he mouths the word instead. 

Amagi nods, like she was expecting this answer. She probably was. What other way is there to really answer a question like that? It’s almost completely rhetorical. Then she says, “I hope you and Chie-chan are getting along.”

Yu flips through his pad, looking for a dry page, and eventually settles on pulling his cellphone out of his pocket to type into the notes.  I think Hanamura and I upset her earlier. You should call her if you have time.

Amagi smiles, and begins talking about growing up, and about her friendship with Satonaka. Yu gets the impression there’s more to it than than, but he doesn’t remark on it. It’s not his place.

* * *

 

_ Why do I know you? _ Yu asks when he’s in bed for the night. He’s lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of the room his uncle has provided for him. It’s a popcorn ceiling. His bedroom ceiling in the Tokyo apartment is smooth. It’s strange, he thinks, how the mind can latch on to little things like this, where there are much bigger issues at play he could be worrying about.

**I am you,** Izanagi rumbles in his mind.  **I have been with you since birth, and I shall be with you until death. As long as you are alive, you shall never be alone.**

_ Why didn’t I have to fight my Shadow to talk to you? I had to fight Hanamura’s Shadow before he got Jiraya. _

**Your Magician had you to fight for him. You had to fight for yourself.**

Yu has many more questions, but he doesn’t know how to ask them.

* * *

 

**New Chat**

> **[Hanamura Yosuke] → [Narukami Yu]**
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Man, I’m beat.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Wanna start tomorrow at lunch?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Sure.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Be gentle with me, sensei!


	2. You've Got Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes chapter two!
> 
> Chapter five ended up being a lot longer than I thought it was going to be, tbh. It's still not insanely long, but it's quite a bit longer than the rest of the chapters I've written so far. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter! Be sure to let me know what worked and what didn't work, and I'll see you again next week!

Igor calls him a Wild Card

Yu knows he should have more issues with this whole situation than he does. He’s sitting, immobile, in a limo he’s never seen before. The interior is covered in blue velvet and barely lit, making the whole thing even more mysterious than it already is.

He signs, ‘What does that mean?’

The pretty blonde woman holding a book relays this to Igor. There’s a pause, and Yu assumes Igor is speaking, though he can’t tell. It’s similar to the Teddie situation—Igor’s mouth doesn’t move normally, so Yu can’t read his lips. He’s grateful for the interpreter.

Igor replies with, “Your power will come from your heart. To strengthen your heart, you must establish bonds.”

‘Bonds?’

“Connect with the people around you. Force meaningful relationships. These relationships will translate to benefits.”

That sounds kind of artificial to Yu. He doesn’t think many people would want to be friends with someone whose opening line was, “Hey, I want to be your friend for my own benefit!” But somehow Yu gets the feeling Igor knows more than he’s letting on, so he keeps those thoughts to himself. ‘How will I know which relationships are the right ones?’ he asks instead.

Igor says, “You will know.” Then, before Yu can ask another question, he says, “My assistant is Margaret. She will be of invaluable help to you on your journey. The Velvet Room is open to you whenever you have need of it.”

The world lurches, and Margaret and Igor look up. Igor says, “It’s time for you to leave us for now. I look forward to seeing you again.”

Yu closes his eyes, and when they open again he is in his room, having been shaken awake by Nanako.

* * *

 

For a while, Yuu wonders how much of that encounter was real. Then, while he’s walking through the shopping district, he sees an ethereal blue door that everyone else ignores. The key in his pocket grows heavy.

* * *

 

Yu runs into Hanamura on the way to school. He’s a little surprised when Hanamura holds his hands out and bends his index fingers towards each other, mimicking a bow. “I looked up how to say hello!” he says, proud.

For the first time in a long time, Yu’s smile feels genuine.

Despite Amagi’s disappearance hanging over their heads, Yu and Hanamura still meet on the roof at lunch for a JSL lesson. Yu starts off easy, teaching him how to finger spell, and suggests a basic conversation as practice.

Slowly, his hands moving in a way Yu can only describe as a stutter, Hanamura signs, ‘How did you learn to sign?’

‘I’m mostly self-taught. After I got out of the hospital, I got a bunch of books about JSL and practiced in the mirror. I also watched a program on TV where people would play news headlines and sign along with them.’

Hanamura looks like he wants to ask something else, but he suddenly stiffens and his head swings towards the door. Yu, feeling a pull in his chest, does the same, and is only mildly surprised to see Yuk-senpai standing at the entrance to the roof. The third year raises a lazy hand in greeting and says, “Yo.”

Yu and Hanamura both scramble to their feet, lesson forgotten.

* * *

 

Hanamura and Satonaka do their best to relay Teddie’s information to Yu while he nurses his injured hand. He whips his phone out and types,  So he doesn’t know if Amagi is in there?

Hanamura shrugs. “That’s what it looks like.”

Satonaka frowns. She looks nervous, and she’s bouncing from one foot to the other in an anxious dance. “I’m going to go to the inn and warn Yukiko.”

“It’s going to rain tonight, right?” Hanamura asks. “Let’s make sure to watch the Midnight Channel. We can decide on our next move from there.” He looks to Yu, his eyes searching for approval, and he only relaxes when Yu nods in agreement. 

Chie absently agrees and takes off.

Amused, Yu types,  She should just confess to Amagi already and shows it to Hanamura, who turns red.

“You think she—?”

Yu nods.

An odd look crosses Hanamura’s face, like he’s never thought about that before. Maybe, Yu thinks, he hasn’t.

* * *

 

The thing that surprises Yu the most about the Midnight Channel is the subtitles.

They’re stylized to match the absurd get-up Amagi is wearing, pink and bubbly and sparkly, but still clear enough for Yu to read, even at the speed at which they crawl across the screen. He’s pretty sure whatever is causing the Midnight Channel is connected to the Velvet Room, so Yu tells himself to ask Igor about it next time he’s there.

His phone buzzes.

> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Did you see that?
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** That was Yukiko-san for sure!
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** And she looked like she was on some low-budget TV show…
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** What’s going on?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** You should try to contact Satonaka.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** She said she was going to see Amagi, right?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Maybe she saw something.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** That’s a good idea.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Meet at Junes in the morning?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Sounds good.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Try not to worry too much.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** We’ll figure it out.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Yeah.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Thanks, Narukami.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Good night.

As Yu plugs his phone in to charge for the night, he hears Izanagi’s voice in his head.  **You’ve grown closer to your Magician. Well done.**

_ Why do you keep calling Hanamura a magician? _ Yu asks.  _ Does this have something to do with those bonds Igor was talking about? _

Izanagi sounds amused when he says,  **Yes, it does. Each of the important links you can forge are associated with the major arcana. Hanamura Yosuke is your Magician. The closer you get to him, the stronger your bond with that arcana will be.**

Yu sighs.  _ Looks like I have some more stuff to research. _

He falls asleep to the sound of Izanagi’s laugh. Traitor.

* * *

 

In another house in Inaba, four sets of eyes stare at a now-blank television screen. “Well,” the younger girl says, voice deceptively light, “that means it’s starting, doesn’t it?”

The boy next to her huffs. “Those guys have even more problems than we did. All we had to do was deal with a tower and some cancer patients. They have a serial killer.”

The older woman, with platinum blonde hair and piercing yellow eyes, says, “Margaret will take good care of the new Wild Card. He has nothing to worry about!”

The older man stays silent. His only response is to tighten his hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. She doesn’t know if it’s to reassure her or himself.

_ Good luck, Narukami-kun. _


	3. You Don't Know Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is on the shorter side, but don't worry! When we start getting into the more fic-original aspects, the chapters will get longer. As always, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> EDIT 16 March, 2019: Fixed some formatting issues in the final segment of this chapter. Some underlined text should not have been underlined, and some regular text should have been underlined, so that has been fixed.

Man, Yosuke really fucked up.

The cops took all their stuff away when they got arrested. Bags, phones, keys, everything. That means Narukami doesn’t have nis  notepad, and Yosuke knows his rudimentary JSL skills won’t get him very far as an interpreter if it comes down to that.

Oh, shit.

Narukami needs an interpreter.

Yosuke leaps out of his seat and runs to the door of the interrogation room he and Narukami are being kept in. There are a couple cops standing guard outside of the room, he knows, so he pounds on the door until one of them shouts, “What?!”

“My friend is deaf!” he calls through the door. “He needs an interpreter!”

The officer scoffs. “He shoulda thought of that before he got arrested! Do we look like we have the money to hire an interpreter for the off chance some criminal can’t hear?”

“He’s not ‘some criminal!’” Yosuke protests. “It’s my fault! Those weapons—which are fake, by the way, like I told the guy who arrested us—are mine. Narukami didn’t know I was bringing them to Junes.”

“Oh, really?” The cop doesn’t sound convinced. “Then why did you bring them? Even if they _were_ toys, you shoulda known you were gonna scare the hell out of people.”

Yosuke is about to retort when he feels Narukami tap him on the shoulder. He slowly finger spells, ‘My uncle is a detective. Ask for Dojima.’

* * *

 

Yu doesn’t trust Adachi.

He knows he has no basis for this dislike, but he can’t help it. Some part of him screams that Adachi is lying.

Plus, Adachi doesn’t look at him when he speaks, so Yu can’t read his lips. That’s really irritating.

* * *

 

Yu and Hanamura do eventually make it to Junes, where Satonaka is waiting for them. After a quick explanation and a trip to a blacksmith—an honest to God blacksmith—they return to the electronics section with weapons and armor smuggled in under their clothes to avoid yet another run-in with the police.

‘Ready?’ Yu finger spells.

Hanamura nods, and Satonaka does, too, after Hanamura translates.

Yu reaches his hand to the TV and lets himself be pulled in.

* * *

 

There are times that Yu is grateful he can’t hear.

Satonaka is clearly agitated as she argues with her Shadow. It reminds him of Hanamura’s struggle, and he feels as helpless now as he did then. The only bright side is that he can’t understand the words that are upsetting Satonaka so much. It’s clearly something very personal, and Yu doesn’t feel comfortable knowing such private issues about people he barely knows.

The Shadow transforms into a monster. Beside him, Hanamura gets into position to fight, and he does the same.

* * *

 

After, Yu and Hanamura help Satonaka back to the main hub. They collectively agree to sit and rest before heading back to the real world, knowing they’ll crash as soon as they’re out of the TV and they need to talk about what just happened.

“So,” Hanamura starts, “we know the killer is somehow using the TV world to kill people.”

“But how do they know about the TV world in the first place?” Satonaka asks.

Yu writes,  And how do the last two victims connect to Amagi? 

Satonaka looks like she’s about to respond, but the instant her mouth opens she yawns. “Sorry, guys,” she says after it abates, “but I’m beat. Getting Tomoe really took it out of me. How about we meet up tomorrow before class to talk about this?”

Yu nods. He remembers how tired Hanamura was after fighting his Shadow, and the fog is still messing with all of them. He quickly writes, We should all rest.

Teddie must say something, because Hanamura and Satonaka both look in his direction. Hanamura grins and finger spells, ‘Teddie thinks you should be our leader, Yu.’

Yu feels like a deer caught in the headlights. He agrees, because it would be rude not to. He just hopes his “leadership” doesn’t get anyone hurt.

* * *

 

On his way back to Dojima’s from Junes, Yu stops by the Velvet Room.

Igor, of course, is grinning when he comes to in the limo. Yu doesn’t know if Igor is capable of not grinning. “Two bonds forged in as many days,” he says. “The Magician and the Fool. Excellent work, dear guest.

‘Who is the Fool? Satonaka?’ Yu has the impression Satonaka wouldn’t take kindly to being called a fool, no matter what kind of meaning it had.

“Technically,” Igor says, “you are the fool. However, since it is difficult to measure the strength of one’s bond to himself, in this case the Fool applies to your group as a whole.” He snaps, and several tarot cards shoot out of the deck on the table and float around Yu’s face. “The Magician, the Chariot, the Priestess, the Emperor, the Lovers, the Star, and the Wheel of Fortune. Each of these individuals will surround you, the Fool, over the course of your journey.”

Yu tries not to let his nervousness show on his face.

With a flick of Igor’s wrist, the cards fall, lifeless, onto Yu’s lap. They feel much heavier than they look, and Yu doesn’t know if the weight is because of the material they’re made of or if it’s because of the new meaning they have to him. “Now that we’ve cleared that up,” Igor says, “I’d like to talk to you about fusion…”

* * *

 

Thank God for Nanako.

Yu was expecting a fight as soon as he got home. He suspects the only reason Dojima didn’t immediately start yelling at the police station early is because they were in public. In the safety of his own home, though, he was ready to go. And, because Dojima can’t sign, this means he’s starting to yell.

Nanako manages to stop it, though. She turns her puppy dog eyes on her father and says something that stills his mouth. To repay her, Yu gets up to do the dishes before she can even move and ruffles her hair as he passes.

The weather should be good for the next while. They have time to rescue Amagi.

* * *

 

 

> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** I think we should all use each other’s given names.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Where’s this coming from?
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** You’re pretty formal, dude.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** If we’re gonna be chasing down a killer together, I think we can be a little more familiar.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Have you asked Satonaka for her opinion on this yet?
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Chie goes with the flow! If you call her Chie she’ll call you Yu.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** And Yukiko will follow Chie’s lead.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** People in the country are a lot more relaxed than people in Tokyo.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Besides, it’s a lot easier to finger spell a given name than a family name.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:**  Shit, man, are you there?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Sorry, Nanako needed me to help her with homework.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Who’s Nanako?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** My cousin.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Is she cute?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** She’s very cute.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** She’s also six.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** OH.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Sorry, man.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** No problem.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Good night, Yosuke.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Good night, Yu.

* * *

 

Yu ends up getting to school a little late the next day. He told Nanako to head to school early and finished the washing himself, so he lost track of time. He’s still there before class starts, because he hates being late and principle, but Chie and Yosuke are already in the classroom when he arrives.

He sits at his desk and his companions come to him. Chie hops up and perches herself on the edge of his desk, her legs dangling a few inches off the floor. Yosuke is a bit more polite, standing next to Yu and resting a hand on the back of his chair. “Morning, Narukami,” Chie greets.

Yu pulls his notepad out of his bag and writes  Good morning, Chie. 

Chie grins, thought it looks a little strained. “Ooh, we’ve upgraded? In that case, good morning, Yu.”

Yu erases his greeting and writes  How are you holding up? in its place.

Her smile falls. “You can tell, huh?” She lets out a frustrated breath. “I didn’t sleep well last night. I just—I couldn’t stop thinking about Yukiko, and about what my Shadow said—”

Yosuke shakes his head and frantically motions for her to stop talking about the TV world where near their classmates can hear. Yu writes, We’ll save her, Chie, I promise.

“Yeah,” Yosuke agrees, putting a comforting hand on Chie’s shoulder. “We can and we will.”

Chie inhales deeply, then nods, her eyes resolute. “You two’re right. We’re gonna get Yukiko back, and we’re gonna catch ourselves a serial killer.”

Yu hopes they’re all right.

The warning bell must ring, because Yosuke jerks up and scurries away, presumably to go to the bathroom before class. Once he clears the door, Chie slips off Yu’s desk. “Thanks, Yu.”

For what? he writes.

“For wanting to save Yukiko even though you don’t know her very well.”

If the person I loved was in mortal danger, I’d want as much help as possible, too. 

Chie’s face turns bright red.

Don’t worry, Yu continues,  I won’t tell anyone. 

“Thank you,” Chie says again, though her face is softer. There is recognition in her eyes. He has revealed himself in his nonchalance.

Oddly enough, he can’t bring himself to care.


	4. Withered Flowers Must Blossom

> THE FOOL TAROT CARD MEANINGS KEYWORDS
> 
> Upright: Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit
> 
> Reversed: Naivety, foolishness, recklessness, risk-taking
> 
>  
> 
> FOOL TAROT CARD MEANINGS AND DESCRIPTION
> 
> The Fool is numbered 0—the number of unlimited potential… The Major Arcana is often considered as the Fool’s journey through life and as such, he is ever present… a young man stands on the edge of a cliff, without a care in the world, as he sets out on a new journey. He is looking upwards at the sky (and the Universe)...
> 
>  

Yu lets out an annoyed breath at the cramp in his hand. He’s found a website with all the cards Igor spoke of, but it’s in english, so he’s been trying to translate it into a new notebook. His uncle doesn’t have a computer at home, so Yu’s been spending precious moments before school furiously researching in the computer lab. He thought about going to the one bookstore in town and the idea was almost immediately dismissed. There’s no way such a small town would encourage any interest whatsoever in the occult.

The staff member in charge of the computers taps Yu on the shoulder. The warning bell has rung. Yu snaps his notebook closed, flashes her what he hopes is a grateful smile, and hurries to class.

* * *

 

Chie has to talk to a teacher after class, so she tells Yu and Yosuke to head to Junes without her. Yu puts his notepad in his bag so he and Yosuke can sign to each other as they walk. The best way to learn a language is to use it, after all.

Something like Izanagi, but feminine, speaks in his head.  **Ooh, the Magician! I like him, Yu, you should spend more time with him!**

_ Who are you? _ he asks.

The voice somehow feels insulted.  **How rude! You just got me a few days ago!**

**Calm yourself, Pixie,** Izanagi says.

Yu remembers now. After a battle in Yukiko’s castle he saw floating cards and grabbed one. He huffs. Igor didn’t warn him Personae could fight with each other. He signs, ‘Does Jiraya talk to you?’ to Yosuke and tries to ignore the headache manifesting in his skull.

It’s a lot harder to progress through the castle than Yu originally thought. Sure, most Shadows are weak to Jiraya’s wind-based magic, but Yosuke doesn’t have the energy to constantly pull those moves off. Plus, when they get tired and have to head out, they have to run all the way back down the stairs to reach the entrance. Yu gets antsy when they spend too much time on any single floor, as well, so he ends up pushing Yosuke and Chie more than he probably should.

He thinks about giving up his title as leader of the team. He doesn’t think he’s doing a very good job at it, anyway.

* * *

 

Yu kind of came to Inaba not expecting to do much outside of school. Small towns like Inaba don’t have many disability-accessible places, after all. But he finds an advertisement for a job folding envelopes, something he can do in his room by himself, and his mind whirls with possibilities. 

Out of everyone on the team, only Yosuke currently has a job, and Yu doesn’t know how much his parents actually pay him for working at the family business. If Yu can make some money, they can buy better equipment, and maybe even things to keep their strength up in the TV world. That translates to rescuing Yukiko faster.

The ad has an email address at the bottom.

He takes it.

* * *

 

‘We have time,’ Yosuke signs, using the actual sign for “time” and looking very proud of himself for it. He’s confident. In the team, in his abilities, in the world itself being unwilling to see them fail.

“The weather is going to get bad soon,” Chie says, worry shining from her eyes. Her usual devil-may-care attitude is gone, replaced by the crippling reality that they may not rescue Yukiko.

Yu tells neither of them about the nightmares he has where they fall in battle, where Yukiko is torn apart by Shadows, where the police find all four of their bodies hanging from telephone lines. The really don’t need another thing to worry about.

* * *

 

It starts to rain.

* * *

 

Yu, Yosuke, and Chie agree to attempt a rescue. He tells his teammates to go on ahead to Junes while he stocks up on energy drinks and snacks. He’s been making a little money each night and this is his first big spending spree since getting his job.

He’s debating the merits of Mad Bull when he feels the basket in his left hand get a little heavier. His head whips around and he locks eyes with Shiomi-senpai, who is giving him a cheeky grin. “Just thought you could use this,” she says, and by the way her mouth is moving, Yu can tell she’s speaking loudly. “Good luck, Narukami-kun!” Then she dashes out the door, leaving several other customers looking bewildered.

Yu reaches into the basket and his fingers curl around whatever Shiomi-senpai put in there. He examines the label. Goho-M. Shatter jar on the ground to instantly teleport the entire party to the dungeon entrance.

Feeling this whole situation growing more and more surreal, Yu goes ahead and buys it. It could be useful.

* * *

 

Chie offers to help Yukiko home. The inn is a bus ride away, after all, and Yukiko is way too tired to make the trip on her own. Yu and Yosuke walk them to the bus stop and wave at them through the window until they fade in the distance. 

Yukiko is slumped against her, breathing even. Her shoulder and side tingle from the contact. There’s so much Chie wants to talk about; their Shadows, their friendship, their feelings. But Yukiko needs rest more than Chie needs closure, so she lets her sleep.

Later, after Yukiko is given a bath by her mother and changed out of her filth-covered kimono into clean pajamas, Chie tucks her into her futon. When she tried to leave, Yukiko’s pale hand wraps around her ankle. “Stay,” she whispers, already half-asleep again. “I don’t want to be alone.”

So Chie lays down on the tatami mat, cradles Yukiko’s outstretched hand in her own, and falls into the most restful sleep she’s hand in a long time.

* * *

 

The gym teacher usually lets Yu do a study hall during class for “safety reasons,” so Yu heads back to the computers for more research. He’s just finished copying down the entry on the Priestess when he remembers Shiomi-senpai’s hair pins. Curious, he types “XXI tarot arcana” into the search engine on the site.

The World.

Yu flips back to the page he copied the Fool’s entry on and sees reference to the Universe. Not a match, then.

**Search for the Universe,** Izanagi says.

He does.

All the search results are about the World.

Numb, Yu powers the computer down. Could it be a coincidence? Maybe Shiomi-senpai just likes that pattern, or maybe twenty-one is her lucky number. But, then again, she gave him that Goho-M, didn’t she? And it teleported them right to the entrance of Yukiko’s castle, like the label said it would. Plus, there’s the strange pull he feels towards Shiomi-senpai and Yuki senpai, and how they just transferred to Inaba before all this started.

The Fool entry reads, “He is looking upwards at the sky (and the Universe)...”

_ What does this mean? _ he asks Izanagi.

**It means,** he says,  **that you have your first lead.**

Yu closes his notebook and shoves it into his bag.  _ I’ll wait to bring this up until Yukiko is better. Besides, the fog is coming soon. The killer might get frustrated and make a mistake is Yukiko doesn’t show up dead. _

He’s up and out the door before the usual staff member can tap his shoulder.

* * *

 

The killer searches the whole town for their victim. When they don’t see her, they scowl. But then a light emotion fills their chest.  _ Finally, _ they think, _ some competition. _


	5. It Keeps On Pounding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, everyone! This chapter is more about setting stuff up for chapter 6 (which is really long, so you're in for a treat!) than any heavy plot stuff, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
> 
> On another note, while I'm not the type of person to hold chapters hostage in exchange for comments, the lack of feedback I'm getting is kind of sad and discouraging to me. Even if it's just a 'this is nice,' it really helps me know that people are enjoying what I'm writing and makes me want to write more. Whether it's here or on the official Tumblr for Individuation, feedback is greatly appreciated and encouraged, so don't hold back!

They have a meeting on the school roof the day Yukiko comes back. Yu, Yosuke, and Chie catch herup on what they’ve figured out and how Personae work, and Yukiko glumly admits she doesn’t remember much about her kidnapping. Chie hovers, concerned, as Yukiko speaks, and she flushes bright red when Yu cuts her an amused look.

Once everyone is on the same page, they stop speaking, so Yu pulls his notepad out of his bag and scribbles,  Will you help us? and shows it to Yukiko.

Yukiko freezes. Yu can see the wheels turning in her head and the panic flashing in her eyes. He’s pretty sure the only reasons she isn’t breaking down are the combination of Chie’s shoulder resting solidly against her own and her Persona speaking to her in her head. Eventually a determined look takes over her wary face and she agrees.

Within him, Izanagi makes a pleased humming sound.  **Your bond with you team grows more powerful by the day,** he says.  **The closer you become, the stronger I get.**

Yu wonders if the others feel a similar pressure. This thought is more than a little pointed, and Izanagi laughs.

* * *

 

Chie announces that she’s hungry, so the team decides to migrate to Junes. As they approach the school gate, they see three people ahead of them. Shiomi-senpai, Yuki-senpai, and a woman with silvery-blonde hair.

Yu freezes up. He suddenly remembers his revelation about Shiomi-senpai, and this new woman makes him even more suspicious. There’s no way this can be a coincidence. She looks too similar to Margaret for that. Yu catches Yosuke’s attention and signs, ‘I just remembered something we need to talk about.’

Yosuke has gotten much better at signing in the few weeks Yu’s been teaching him. He’s mostly graduated from finger spelling and knows basic signs, so it’s much easier and much quicker to relay information to him. Yosuke must see something in Yu’s face because he nods, face resolute. ‘At Junes,’ he replies. Then he says, “Hey, Chie, Yukiko, you two should learn JSL, too.”

“That’s what you guys have been doing at lunch?” Chie asks.

“I was wondering where you went today,” Yukiko adds.

Yosuke nods. “Yeah, we go to the roof and Yu teaches me there. It’s a lot easier to talk to him with sign language than making him use his note pad.” Then his grins, mischievous, and continues, “Plus, I’m pretty sure his handwriting is getting worse.”

Yu shoves him, and he’s pretty sure Yosuke laughs. This finally seems to attract the attention of their senpai, because Shiomi-senpai waves. “Narukami-kun, Hanamura-kun, Satonaka-chan, Amagi-chan, come here! I want to introduce you all to someone!”

The others all look to Yu first, which momentarily surprises him. He knows he’s supposed to be their leader, but he didn’t know that extended to outside of the TV as well as inside. He makes his nod as small as he can, and only then do they approach. Chie, still a bit suspicious, clings to Yukiko’s arm, eyes hard. Yu’s pretty sure she won’t be letting Yukiko out of her sight for a long time.

“This is Elizabeth,” Shiomi-senpai when they finally get close enough. “She’s an old friend who helps take care of me and Makoto. Elizabeth, there are the kouhai we’ve told you about.”

Elizabeth’s golden eyes flash, curious. “Oh?” she asks.

Yu signs, ‘Ask her if she has a sister,’ to Yosuke, whose face is overtaken by a lecherous grin at whatever imagined implication he gets from the request. Before Yu can correct the obvious misconception, Yosuke asks the question. “Sorry, Elizabeth-san, but my friend wants to ask if you have a sister.”

Elizabeth smiles, her eyes drilling through any sort of defense Yu could have put up. “Yes,” she says, “I do. I’m told we look quite similar.”

* * *

 

Yu really does intend to tell the team about his suspicions. He does. He wants near-complete transparency regarding investigation matters.

But Adachi shows up at Junes, and Yu feels his hackles raise, and he says nothing.

* * *

 

Nanako is so happy to be invited to Junes.

Yu’s glad. She was devastated when Dojima cancelled their Golden Week trip and Yu couldn’t bear it. He thinks, perhaps cruelly, that it’s a lot easier for Dojima to deal with his daughter’s sadness because he’s never home.

Of course, he says none of this to Nanako, and she has an absolute blast. She adores Yosuke and gets fawned over by Chie and Yukiko. When she offers to get Yu a drink, she calls him “Onii-chan,” and he swears his heart flies away. By the time they get home, it seems like Nanako has forgotten about Dojima’s broken promise, at least for now.

* * *

 

School starts up once more. The whole team (sans Teddie, of course) meets on the roof. Under the guise and relative silence of a JSL lesson, they are able to discuss the investigation in secret.

They quickly touch base regarding the lack of missing persons and the status of the Midnight Channel. Then, after those topics are exhausted, and Yu is as certain as he can be that no one else is around, he finger spells, ‘I think Shiomi-senpai knows something about the TV world.’

Chie, startled, forgets their cover, drops her hands, and says “What?” aloud. While Yosuke rushes to quiet her, Yu pulls his notepad out. His explanation, he knows, will be too long to finger spell, so he wrote it down the night before. He very desperately hopes he’s explained the Velvet Room in an easy to understand way.

‘Do you think she’s a suspect?’ Yukiko signs when she’s finished reading. She’s picked up on JSL very quickly, Yu thinks. She’s still using basic signs, but she’s already almost at Yosuke’s level.

Yu shakes his head. ‘I don’t get that feeling. She helped us by giving me that Goho-M, after all.

‘So you think she knows more than she’s saying?’

‘Exactly.’

Chie’s brow furrows and she quickly looks at her cheat sheet. ‘How could she know about the TV world without being involved?’ she signs with much difficulty. Yu feels a little bad for her. He can only imagine how frustrated she is by all the signing. 

Something like realization sparks in Yosuke’s eyes. ‘We might not be the first Persona users,’ he points out. ‘Maybe Shiomi-senpai is one, too.’

‘Do you think the killer is a Persona user?’ Yukiko asks.

Yu signs, ‘They have to be. How else would they know about the fog? If there was only one victim, I could write it off as an accident, but you and Konishi-senpai had to be premeditated.’

He feels a vibration in the air, and by the way everyone else whips their heads around, the school bell has rung. Aloud, Yosuke says, ‘The school gates will be closing soon. I’ll go to Junes and tell Teddie what we talked about.” He starts to stand.

Before he can get far, Yu signs, ‘Nobody goes alone. The buddy system is safest.’

Yosuke pouts. “I wasn’t planning on going in!”

‘The killer has to know someone is onto them. They could be waiting around and watching people spending time near TVs. It’s not safe to go alone.’

Yosuke looks like he wants to retaliate, but Yukiko, who can somewhat understand their argument, steps in. “I’ll go with you,” she says. “Junes is near my bus stop, anyway.”

Yu shoots her a grateful look. ‘I’ll walk Chie home, then.’

Yukiko nods and says, “Thank you.”

* * *

 

Chie is mostly quiet as Yu escorts her home. She has to give him directions, of course, but it turns out she only lives a few streets away from Dojima. Yu is internally grateful; he was worried about being able to find his way home.

She’s clearly troubled by something, so Yu types  What’s bothering you? into the notes on his cell phone and shows her the screen. 

Chie shakes her head. “It’s stupid,” she says. Yu’s glad the sun hasn’t sunk too far past the horizon, because it’s already getting hard to read her lips. He’s about to prod her again, but she continues, “It’s just—do you think Yukiko likes Yosuke?”

This startles what must be a laugh out of Yu, because Chie’s face turns red. He quickly types out a message before she can work herself up too much.  Why do you think that?

“She offered to go to Junes with him.”

Yosuke was being difficult and we were about to start arguing. Yukiko stepped in to defuse the situation.

Chie’s eyes go wide. “You were about to fight?”

He’s underestimating the danger around us, Yu types.  I want us to have a buddy system whenever possible, and he was being stubborn about it.

“Oh.” They’ve reached her house now, so they stop. “Is that why you walked me home?”

Partly. I also wanted to talk to you about Yukiko.

“What about Yukiko?”

About how you need to tell her how you feel.

Chie’s face goes pale. “I—I can’t do that! Her family is, like, super traditional! She could hate me forever if she finds out I’m—” She freezes suddenly, and then speaks, the movement of her mouth small as she says, “—gay.”

Yu feels a wave of sympathy wash over him.  I know how that feels, he types,  but it’s not fair to you to keep this bottled up. If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure she likes you, too.

Chie goes from white to red in about two seconds. She sputters a quick, “See you tomorrow!” and bolts, running into her house and slamming the door behind her.

* * *

 

> **[Satonaka Chie]:** I need to talk to you about something. Wanna go to Aiya’s after school tomorrow?
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Sure! It’s supposed to rain tomorrow, too, so you can try the challenge again.
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** I’ll beat it some day!
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** I know you will.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Good night, Chie.
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** Night, Yukiko.


	6. Just a Touch of the Sky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Sorry I took a break last week; I was home for Thanksgiving and I forgot my notebook at school, so I didn't want to post another chapter without writing a little bit on upcoming ones.
> 
> In regards to what I said in my last author's notes, I want to thank all of you for your kind words. I'm in creative writing workshop classes just about every semester so I've gotten used to getting feedback very clearly and quickly. I hope you all know how much I appreciate you, and know that I am very passionate about this series and I intend to keep writing for the indefinite future.
> 
> Finally, I wanted to say thank you for making this birthday very special! I couldn't ask for a better gift than to give you all something to read. I hope you enjoy!

Yosuke groans, laying his forehead on his desk in resignation. “How are exams already so close?”

Beside him, Yukiko snorts. Chie turns sideways in her seat and, catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, Yu does the same. Of course Yu and Yukiko are unbothered by the prospect of exams. They both have stellar grades.

Wait.

“Yukiko, you gotta help me study!” He knows he probably sounds desperate, but he doesn’t care. If he doesn’t do well on his exams, his parents will actually kill him.

Yukiko gives him an apologetic looks. “Sorry, but Chie and I already have plans today. I’ll help you another time.”

Yu shoots Chie a knowing look and she turns red. Before he can ask what that’s about, Yu signs, ‘I’ll study with you. My uncle will be home late, so we can use the living room.’

Relief washes over him. He might actually cry. “I owe you my entire life,” he says. “Seriously. I’m gonna get you a lifetime discount at Junes.”

Yu smiles. ‘I think Nanako will like that more than me.’

Yosuke chuckles. “You’re probably right. I’ll think of something else then.”

Next to him, Yukiko gracefully rises from her seat and smooths her skirt down with her hands. “Ready to go, Chie?”

“Yeah.” Is it Yosuke’s imagination, or does Chie sound a little nervous? Yu gives her a thumbs up as she stands. “We’ll see you guys on Monday!”

* * *

 

Yukiko agrees to hold a table for them while Chie orders. Chie finds herself not particularly hungry for once, as her stomach is too busy turning somersaults to worry about food.  _ Can I really do this? _

**You will,** says Tomoe from within her, startling her a bit. Even with Yu’s warning, she’s not quite used to having another voice in her head. Plus, Tomoe’s generally pretty quiet, so when she does speak up, it’s a weird experience. 

Thankfully, the Aiya employees seem impervious to any kind of emotion, so no one remarks on Chie’s jumpiness. Chie si able to place her and Yukiko’s orders and joins Yukiko at their table. 

“So,” Yukiko says when Chie settles into her seat, “what did you want to talk about?”

Any words Chie has promptly leave her and her head fills with white noise. Her throat tightens up and her eyes start burning. Desperate, she reaches out.  _ Tomoe, help me. _

Then, suddenly, it’s like she’s floating, seeing everything in the restaurant from above.  **I will speak with her while you collect yourself,** says Tomoe.  **I will not say anything that is yours alone. Let me know when you are ready to return.**

_ Thank you. _

* * *

 

Yukiko knows something has changed immediately. Chie’s spine straightens and her chin lifts, transforming a girl who has been nervous and fidgety all day into a confident and commanding woman. “Amagi Yukiko,” she says, her voice not quite her own, “Chie needs a moment to compose herself, so you will be speaking with me in the interim.”

“You’re her Persona,” Yukiko breathes, realization dawning over her. Chie’s body nods. “Wait, may I ask your name?”

The Persona makes a pleased, rumbling sound. “You’re very polite. I have been called by many names over the years, and I will be called many more, but, for the moment, I am Tomoe.”

“And you’re part of Chie, right?”

Tomoe nods. “That is correct. I was born from her thoughts. I am her subconscious taken form. I know what she knows and what she has forgotten. I feel everything she feels—every emotion, every sensation, every thought. I am Chie, and Chie is me.”

“Were you her Shadow, too? Like Konohana Sakuya was mine?”

“Yes. I achieved my current form after Chie accepted the aspects of herself she does not like.”

The blank-faced waitress delivers their steak bowls and wanders off. Yukiko says, “Shouldn’t you let Chie eat?”

“Chie will come back when she is ready. Also, she will be able to taste anything I eat like this.” Tomoe takes a bite. “Oh, this is delightful. No wonder Chie likes it so.” Her eyes, a mix of Chie’s brown and a flash of gold, look up. “You are handling this encounter very well, Amagi Yukiko. Not many in your position could remain so calm.”

Yukiko swallows her mouthful of steak before she replies. “Chie is very strong-willed, so either she voluntarily let you talk to me or you overpowered her. In the first case, I have nothing to fear from you, because Chie would take back over before she let you hurt me. In the second case, causing a scene would do more harm than good.”

Tomoe looks like she approves. “Chie is ready to come back,” she says, “but I have one more thing to tell you. I implore you to be kind to Chie after she says what she has to say. Her greatest fear at the moment is cruelty. If your response is unnecessarily hurtful, I will do everything in my power to ensure you never come near her again.”

Ice floods Yukiko’s veins. She’s not entirely sure it’s just fear, since Tomoe specializes in ice-based magic, but before she can comment on it Tomoe bleeds back into Chie. She offers Yukiko a bashful smile. “Sorry about that,” she says, her voice back to normal. “I just needed to calm down.” She looks down at her bowl and scowls. “For someone who talks so much, tomoe sure ate a lot. She barely left me any steak!”

“Couldn’t you taste it?” Yukiko asks.

“Yeah, but it’s not the same as eating it myself.” She sounds mournful, and Yukiko has to stifle one of her ugly snorts. Chie shovels the last few mouthfuls of steak into her mouth, swallows, and continues, “So, about what I wanted to talk about…”

Yukiko waits for Chie to continue, and when she doesn’t, says, “You can tell me anything, Chie. tomoe said you’re scared, but you don’t have to be.”

Resolve flashes in Chie’s eyes, and she sits up just a little bit taller, just like Tomoe did when she first took over. Yukiko is amazed at the effect on her presence; who knew a straight spine could be so powerful? “Amagi Yukiko,” she says, her voice hushed but commanding, “I have been in love with you for years.”

Yukiko swears her heart stops.

* * *

 

Yu decides to stop by the Velvet Room on his and Yosuke’s way home. He hasn’t gotten a chance to ask Igor and Margaret about Elizabeth yet, after all, and he also kinda wants to see if Yosuke can see the door.

He can’t.

‘I don’t know what happens to my body when I go in,’ Yu signs to Yosuke. ‘I don’t think this will take very long. Wait here, ok?’

Yosuke grins and gives him a two-fingered salute, and Yu reaches for the door and closes his eyes. When they open again, Margaret is waiting for him, like she always is, but Igor is nowhere to bee seen. ‘Where is Igor?’

‘My master is currently handling another matter,’ Margaret replies. They way she differentiates between her own signing and her translations for Igor is something Yu very much appreciated. When she signs for Igor, every movement is exaggerated and theatrical, while when she signs for herself, her hands move much more elegantly. Yu wonders if Igor realizes this. ‘Can I help you with something?’

‘Do you have a sister?’

Margaret freezes and what litter color there already is in her face drains away. Yu, suddenly, is almost scared. What is causing this kind of reaction in such an unflappable person? Whatever it is, it must be serious. ‘Have you seen her?’ Margaret asks, hands shaking as she signs.

‘I think so. She was picking two of my senpai up from school a few days ago.’ Margaret’s shaking spreads from her hands to the rest of her body. ‘Is something wrong?’

She’s clearly lying when she signs, ‘No, nothing is wrong. We just didn’t expect her to be in Inaba.’ Before Yu can call her out, she continues, ‘You shouldn't keep your friend waiting. My master should be here the next time you visit.’ Then, without warning, the Velvet Room fades away and he’s facing a wall in the shopping district once more.

He finds Yosuke crouching near a wall, scratching a stray cat behind its ears. He has to stop his scratching to ask, ‘How did it go?’ and the cat is clearly unhappy, glaring at Yu as though it knows he is to blame for his loving being taken away. 

Yu, still rattled, shakes his head. ‘I’ll tell you when we get to my uncle’s house.’

Yosuke may not be academically intelligent, but Yu thinks he doesn’t get enough credit for how smart he is when it comes to emotional and social matters. He reads Yu’s mood and becomes serious. ‘Let’s go, then.’ He gives the cat a parting pat before they depart.

* * *

 

Neither boy is in the mood to study after Yu recaps his conversation with Margaret, despite the token attempt they makes. The weight of the issue feels oppressive, like a too-heavy blanket on a hot night. It’s something they just have to deal with until after exams, when they can meet up with Chie and Yukiko and have a meeting. Yu actually counts it as a blessing when his phone vibrates, giving him an excuse to get distracted.

> **New Chat**
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie] → [Narukami Yu]**
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** I told her.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** How did she respond?
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** She didn’t.
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** She got really quiet so I told her she could wait to answer me until after exams.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I’m proud of you. That must have been hard.
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** Something weird happened with Tomoe at Aiya’s, though.
> 
> **[Satonaka Chie]:** Nothing bad, just weird.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Something strange happened in the Velvet Room this afternoon, too. We’ll have to have a meeting after exams are over.

He waits a few seconds to see if she responds, and looks back to Yosuke when she doesn’t. Yosuke has abandoned any pretense of studying and is instead watching the local news channel. ‘It’s a report about the local biker gang,’ he signs when he sees Yu’s questioning look. ‘Apparently one of the members is a first year at Yasogami. Kinda scary, don’t you think?’

Yu exhales sharply through his nose. ‘As long as they don’t have a Persona, I don’t care. We have enough to worry about as it is.’

Yosuke nods in agreement and shuts the TV off.

* * *

 

He only gets to see Ryoji when he sleeps.

They’re always in the Sea of Souls, the two of them, floating in empty space like it’s the most natural thing in the world. “I miss you,” he says, face buried in the milky skin of Ryoji’s neck and shoulder. “I wish you were here with me.”

Ryoji’s chuckle reverberates through both their bodies. “I’ll find my way back to you eventually. Nothing in the universe could keep me away from you for very long.”

“I’m worried about the kids,” he admits. “Their Wild Card is deaf, for one, and they’re up against a serial killer.” His throat gets clogged and he hugs Ryoji tighter to him. “I’m tired of seeing people die.”

“As long as they have you guys looking out for them, they’ll be fine.” Ryoji presses his lips to his forehead in a gentle kiss. “You need to wake up. You have exams coming up, right?”

Reluctant, he detaches himself from Ryoji. “Yeah. Find me soon, okay? I love you.”

Ryoji’s eyes are wet when he says, “I love you, too.”

The Sea grows darker and darker until he can no longer see Ryoji. Then he blinks, and when his eyes open again, he’s staring at his bedroom ceiling. He holds his eyes open to stave off the tears threatening to pour out.  _ Hurry up and find me, idiot. _


	7. The Same Burning Need

Throughout the last day of exams, Yu can feel Chie’s anxiety washing over him like it’s his own. He can’t really blame her, though; today is the day she’s supposed to receive Yukiko’s response to her confession.

As soon as the test papers are collected the class erupts into motion. Students begin murmuring to each other, and Chie turns to him and says, “What did you get for number thirty?”

Yu finger spells ‘Olympus Mons.’ She swears. Giving her a sympathetic smile, he turns around in his seat so he’s facing Yosuke and Yukiko and points to the ceiling. Everyone nods.

* * *

 

Yu starts the meeting by once again recapping his encounter with Margaret. It’s a slow retelling for Chie’s sake, and when he finishes, both she and Yukiko look appropriately concerned. “Do you think Elizabeth is dangerous?” Chie asks.

He wishes he had an answer. He can see what looks like fear in his team’s eyes, and he should be able to assuage it. Any good leader could. But all he can do is sign, ‘I don’t know.”

Chie’s face falls, looking significantly more worried than she already did. Thankfully, Yu remembers  her text and signs, ‘You said something weird happened at Aiya’s right?’

“Oh, yeah!” Chie explains how Tomoe was able to be in temporary control of her body. “I will still able to see and feel everything, but Tomoe was the one moving around and speaking. It should’ve been scary, except I knew I could take control back whenever I wanted.”

_ Could you do that? _ Yu asks Izanagi.

**Any of your Personae could. Though I recommend only allowing the humanoids to take over.**

Yu pictures Slime using his body to shamble around and shudders.  _ Good idea. _

Next to him, he sees Yosuke hang his head. “What’s the point if Jiraya can’t get me a better grade on exams?”

Across from them, the girls sigh. “What’s our next move?” Yukiko asks.

Yu signs, ‘We keep an eye on the Midnight Channel and we keep our guard up around Shiomi-senpai, Yuki-senpai, and Elizabeth. No one goes into the TV alone.’ He pauses to make sure everyone understands before he continues. ‘Yukiko especially. We know she doesn’t know who the killer is, but the killer might not. They might try to finish what they started.’

Unsurprisingly, Chie’s eyes go hard. “That’s not happening,” she says, and the way both Yosuke’s and Yukiko’s eyes go wide make Yu think it’s more of a growl than any human form of communication. “I’ll kill the bastard myself if they try to touch Yukiko again.”

“We won’t let it come to that,” says Yukiko, placing a comforting hand on Chie’s shoulder.

“Yeah!” Yosuke, as always, is a shining beacon of optimism. “We saved Yukiko and we barely knew what we were doing! We’ll keep getting better and better until we can kick the killer’s ass and put them in jail!”

While Yu is grateful for Yukiko and Yosuke’s confidence, he’s worried about it turning into a dangerous brand of cockiness. So he signs, ‘Just to be safe, I’d like someone to walk Yukiko to and from school, at least from the bus stop.’ An offended look crosses Yukiko’s face and he rushes to amend, ‘I don’t want anyone going anywhere alone, but you’re at more of a risk because the killer has already targeted you.’

It takes a moment for all this information to be conveyed, as Yosuke and Yukiko ask for clarification on some signs and translate for Chie.  _ Remind me to give Chie some extra help with JSL, _ he tells Izanagi (and the rest of his Personae, but he trusts izanagi more than Pixie or Slime).  _ Yosuke and Yukiko can’t translate for me in battle without putting themselves in danger. _

When she’s caught up, Chie says, “I can walk Yukiko to the bus stop.” Then she turns red and adds, “If you’re okay with that, I mean.”

Yukiko, whose hand has not moved, squeezes Chie’s shoulder. “I’d like that.”

* * *

 

Yukiko waits until the crowd of schoolmates walking near them thins out before slipping her hand into Chie’s. Chie goes still and flushes the same shade as Yukiko’s sweater. “Huh?!”

Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, Yukiko says, “I’m not sure how I feel about you. You’re one of the most important people in my life, but I’m so used to thinking of it as platonic that it was hard to think about you romantically.”

Chie visibly wilts and tries to extract her hand from Yukiko’s grip. “Oh, I see—”

Yukiko simply tightens her hand around Chie’s and plants her feet to keep her from moving. They’re in a pretty secluded part of town now, so she takes her other hand, too, and faces her. “Ever since you confessed to me, I can’t think straight. I lie awake thinking of you at night, and my heart skips a beat when I see you. So even though I’m not quite sure about my feelings…” She trails off and squeezes Chie’s hands, and the sheer hope and disbelief shining out of her best friend’s face makes her breath catch. “Even though I’m not quite sure, I know I’m willing to try to give you what you need, because I just might need it, too.”

Chie’s eyes are wet, and judging by the growing pressure behind her own, Yukiko’s are, too. “Thank you,” Chie says, voice soft and sincere and lovestruck. She squeezes Yukiko’s hands and Yukiko has never felt so safe, physically or emotionally. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to sit and talk for a while before you take me to the bus stop?”

“That sounds nice.” Then Chie startles, drops one of Yukiko’s hand, and pulls her phone from her school bag. “Oh, crap, I gotta text Yu!” Her free thumb moves furiously across the buttons on her phone as she types out her message.

“Yu-kun? Why?”

Chie flushes. “He’s the one who encouraged me to confess. He figured me out pretty quick.”

“Oh,” Yukiko says, realization dawning. “Is he…?”

“He hasn’t come out and said it, but I think so.” Chie flips her phone shut and puts it back in her bag. “Let’s go find somewhere to sit down.”

Yukiko’s heart feel full and she lets Chie tug her to a nice patch of grassy ground. Nothing sounds better than a peaceful moment alone with her new girlfriend.

* * *

 

Yosuke and Yu wait for the camera crew to clear out before they leave school. Yosuke’s almost certain they’re here to report on that first year biker, judging by the angry yelling he can hear from the roof, and the last thing his already unpopular reputation needs is for him to be associated with a biker gang. To fill the time, Yosuke signs, ‘Were you born deaf?’

As soon as the question is asked, Yosuke realizes it might be considered rude and tries to backpedal.  Yu’s already answering, though. ‘No. When I was five, I got—’ here, he uses a sign Yosuke doesn’t recognize, ‘—and I went deaf because of it.’

‘What did that sign mean?’

‘Oh.’ For the first time since he’s met him, Yu actually looks a little flustered. ‘It’s one I made up. It means meningitis.’ After finger spelling the word, Yu repeats his made-up sign to help Yosuke associate the two. ‘My brain swelled up and by the time my parents caught it, it was too late. The doctors couldn’t save my hearing.’

‘That must have been hard on you,’ Yosuke signs.

Yu shrugs. ‘Not really. I’ve spent more of my life deaf than I did hearing, and since I became deaf early in my education, I didn’t have to adapt too much.’

Sure, he says that, but Yosuke doesn’t really believe it. He can’t imagine someone being wholly unaffected by losing one of their senses, especially at such a young age. Yu must see this and cracks a wry smile. ‘Not every disability comes with a tragic backstory.’ His phone buzzes with a text and, after reading it, Yu smiles.

That smile bothers Yosuke for a reason he doesn’t quite understand. His chest goes tight and he clenches his fists and he wonders who texted Yu. Who made him smile like that?

* * *

 

He’s still so busy pondering this strange feeling the next day that he completely misses Chie and Yukiko entering the classroom hand-in-hand.

* * *

 

Is that the biker kid from Yasogami? Yu asks his uncle at dinner. The TV in the living room doesn’t have subtitles so Yu has to do a lot of guesswork if he’s by himself. Luckily, his uncle is home for once, so he might actually get answers.

His uncle reads his question, glances at the bleach-blond boy on the screen, and nods. “Tatsumi Kanji. His family owns a textile shop here in town.” Then he frowns. “Try not to get involved with him, alright? Your mom would kill me if you joined a biker gang on my watch.”

Something deep in Yu’s gut tells him he’s going to get involved.


	8. Something Angry, Something Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I got a couple of reviews yesterday with various guesses, and I will confirm that at least one guess is correct. I will not say which one, though this chapter might actually give some of it away. I wanted to thank you all for continuing reading this hot mess!

The team decides to go visit Tatsumi Textiles.

Yu’s pretty sure the next victim is going to be Tatsumi Kanji. Sure, the face on the Midnight Channel wasn’t clear, but his silhouette and body language was a perfect match. If Yukiko hadn’t suggested going, he would have.

Tatsumi-san is speaking to someone who is decidedly not her son when they arrive. They’re dressed in men’s clothes, but Yu doesn’t think they’re a boy. Their body shape reminds him more of Yukiko or Chie than of himself. If it is a boy, he’s probably very young—he probably hasn’t even gone through puberty. He makes a mental note to ask the others about this person’s voice.

The older woman welcomes them with a warm smile when the strange young person leaves. “Amagi-chan, it’s good to see you! Does your mother need a new kimono?” She looks kind, Yu thinks, with laugh lines around her mouth and wrinkles near her eyes that suggest wide smiles/ Looking at her, Yu starts to wonder how much of Tatsumi Kanji’s roughness is an act; he can’t picture a woman like this raising a violent delinquent.

Unfortunately, they don’t get much out of Tatsumi-san. She hasn’t noticed any strange people hanging around, nor has her son displayed any radical personality change. “He’s always had a hard time making friends,” she says, eyes sad. “He’s a good boy; he’s just a little rough around the edges.”

Yu sees the dismay in his team’s faces and feels a similar emotion rising in his own chest. Yukiko thanks Tatsumi-san for her time and they all bow before exiting the shop.

They don’t expect to run into Tatsumi Kanji and the strange young person speaking to each other.

* * *

 

Later, after they lose Tatsumi Kanji, Yu signs, ‘What were they talking about?’

“Tatsumi and that little guy are going to meet at the school gate at the end of the day tomorrow,” Yosuke says. The way his chest is heaving makes Yu thinks he’s out of breath. Yukiko is having a bit of a rough time, too, doubled over with her hands on her knees and her head hanging between her arms. Only Chie, who actually kind of works out, is unaffected by the chase. Yosuke takes a few more deep, shuddering breaths and continues, “What’s our game plan, partner?”

_ Partner. _ Something warm blooms in Yu’s chest. He doesn’t take the time to dwell on it, though, so he forces it down. ‘We need to know what they’re talking about,’ he signs instead. ‘I think two people should follow them, and two people should watch the shop and see if any weird people come around.’

“Then you and I will spy and the girls will watch the shop.”

Yu levels him with a bland look and slowly signs, ‘I would be less than useless at eavesdropping.’ To emphasize, he taps on his ears. ‘Yukiko and I can watch the shop. She’s the one who will cause the least suspicion since she’s a regular customer.’

Something odd flashes in Yosuke’s eyes and his mouth turns downward, but he agrees and fills the girls in on their new plan.

* * *

 

Yu stops back by the shopping district before he heads home. He wants to be prepared if they have to go into the TV tomorrow, so he stocks up on energy drinks, snacks, and, after some consideration, a Goho-M. Someday, he’ll have to ask someone how it works, but for now, the fact that it does is enough for him to trust it.

Exiting the shop, he finds the stray cat again. Now that he’s not as rattled, he’s able to take a good look at it. It’s mostly black except for white on its paws, nose, chest, and tail, and it has the most electric blue eyes he’s ever seen. He squats and gives the cat a quick scratch under the chin, feeling it fumble a purr against his fingers. Strays in Tokyo aren’t nearly this friendly.

The cat abruptly loses interest and trots around him. Yu cranes his neck and sees it get scooped up by a man with long hair and sunglasses.  _ I guess it wasn’t a stray after all. _ He pushes his momentary sadness at the thought of not petting the cat aside and heads home.

* * *

 

He can’t say he’s too surprised when Yosuke and Chie get run off. They’re not exactly subtle individuals, after all, and they have a tendency to work each other up. Yu silently hopes Yukiko can be a calming influence on Chie, though he’s not getting his hopes up.

Just as they’re about to discuss their next move, Tatsumi Kanji arrives home and drives them away once more.  _ At least I can tell Mom I’m getting some cardio in. _

* * *

 

> **New Chat**
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko] → [Narukami Yu]**
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Kanji-kun is missing!

Yu’s head reels and he places himself firmly in front of the TV in his room just in time for the Midnight Channel to start. Sure enough, there’s Tatsumi Kanji, face red and wearing only a bath towel. Where Yukiko’s weird TV show was based in a castle, it seems his is set in a bath house. And, judging by the rainbow colored, Bara-style subtitles, it’s a very specific kind of bath house. Tatsumi Kanji’s aggression suddenly makes sense.  _ How is it, _ he asks Izanagi,  _ that I’ve bet more LBGT people in Inaba than in Tokyo? _

**Like attracts like,** Izanagi says, sounding amused.

Yu is spared from having to respond when his phone vibrates.

> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Did you see that?
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** What the hell was that?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Looks like we have our next lead.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** But do you think he’s really
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Like that?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Yosuke.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** I know!
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** I’m not a dick.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** But do you think he is?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** It doesn’t matter if he is or not.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** If this is going to be an issue, you don’t have to come with us.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** It would be hard with one less team member, but it would be doable.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Of course I’m coming!
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** We’re partners, aren’t we?
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** It won’t be a problem, I promise.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Good.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** We’ll all meet up tomorrow to make a plan.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Good night.
> 
> **[Hanamura Yosuke]:** Night, partner.

Yu sets aside his phone and sighs.  _ Do you think Yosuke is homophobic? _

**I think he is simply ignorant,** Izanagi says.  **You were the same a few years ago, correct? For what it’s worth, you handled that well. Continue to educate him without tolerating his intolerance and he will learn.**

_ I hope you’re right. _

* * *

 

_ Did I sound like a jerk? _

**A little, yeah.**

Yosuke groans, falling back against his pillows.  _ Like, I know there’s nothing wrong with dudes liking other dudes, but what if he ends up liking me? I’d never feel safe! _

He hears Jiraya’s forlorn sigh.  **Not every gay man you meet if going to be attracted to you. And even if they are, you can’t assume they will be predatory.**

_ I’m just not comfortable with it! _

**Well, you better get comfortable, or your partner isn’t going to let you fight with the team.**

Yosuke presses his face into a pillow and screams.


	9. Survive This Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I know this is a little later than usual, but that's because I'm home for winter break and I've been spending time with my family and my boyfriend. On that note, I'm going to take a two week break from updating Seeking to Seize so I can focus on enjoying the holidays. That means my next update will be on New Year's Eve. Happy holidays, everyone!

Yu forgot how much he hates humidity.

The TV world is oppressive enough without the heat radiating throughout the bath house. He’s absolutely dripping with sweat and his glasses keep fogging up, making it nearly impossible to see. In a fit of desperation, he strips out of his uniform jacket and rolls his sleeves up to his elbows.

The rest of his team is in a similar state. Yukiko has tied her hair up with her uniform scarf and divested herself of her tights, which is as far as her propriety will allow her to strip. Chie, on the other hand, is down to a thin camisole and her bike shorts, completely unashamed. Yu has a feeling Chie being half-naked is more of a distraction to Yukiko than the distressing heat could ever be.

Yu, personally, is trying extraordinarily hard to not be distracted by Yosuke’s sweaty collarbone and the way his white shirt has become transparent from the moisture being produced by his skin. He wonders if the bath house itself has something to do with his lustful thoughts. Tatsumi Kanji’s Shadow made his Midnight Channel appearance clearly homoerotic and sexual. Maybe this is one of the gimmicks.

Not that that matters right now. They have a person to save.

They continue forward.

* * *

 

Communicating with Nanako is difficult. She doesn’t know JSL and isn’t a strong reader. Yu has to resort to simple gestures to convey even the most basic concepts. And that really sucks, because Nanako’s a great kid and he wants to get to know her.

Thankfully, her science teacher wants the class to grow vegetables at home, and there just so happens to be a plot of dirt next to the Dojima house.

He’s more than willing to help her garden. After all, he’s not going to let her do it by herself. With a serial killer on the loose, it’s not safe. So he rolls up his sleeves and gets dirt under his fingernails and works up a sweat.

It takes about an hour to set everything up. When they’re done, Yu’s eyes meet Nanako’s and flashes her a thumbs up, and her proud grin is the sunrise.

* * *

 

The fight against Tatsumi Kanji’s Shadow is rough. He’s mostly physical-based, and he figures out Yukiko’s status as their healer pretty quick. By the end, everyone is exhausted, especially Chie, who kept leaping in front of Yukiko to shield her from oncoming attacks.  _ Remind me to lecture her later, _ he tells Izanagi.  _ She’s going to give me a heart attack if she keeps doing that. _

With the exception of the Shadow getting punched, the rest is pretty routine. Kanji’s persona is awakened and he collapses, and the team has to help him back to the Junes electronics section. “You know,” Yosuke says on the way, “that was a lot less dramatic than rescuing Yukiko.”

Kanji, head hanging, mumbles something. Yukiko smiles and says, “we’ll explain everything when you’re feeling better.”

Yu remembers something he heard and signs, ‘Tell him he has to come to school first.’ Yosuke relays the message and Kanji must groan because Chie laughs and slaps him on the back.

Something light rises in Yu’s chest. The’ve done it again. They’ve saved two lives. Maybe he’s a good leader after all.

* * *

 

> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Was I like Kanji-kun when you saved me?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** It’s hard to say.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I mean, you obviously didn’t punch your Shadow.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I can’t really compare what you and Kanji said, so you’re better off asking Yosuke or Chie.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Oh, right! Sorry!
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** What brought this on?
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Kanji-kun was just so vulnerable today.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** If you don’t mind me asking, what was it like for you?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** It wasn’t the same as it was for the rest of you. I didn’t have to accept my Shadow.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Really?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Izanagi said it was because I had to fight for myself.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** That’s kind of sad.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** For the record, I would have fought for you.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Thank you.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Good night, Yukiko.
> 
> **[Amagi Yukiko]:** Good night, Yu-kun.

* * *

 

Yosuke lies awake in bed far longer than he expected to.

The TV world usually wipes him out, so much so that he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. Even now he feels exhaustion tugging at his eyes, but he can’t sleep, not with his thoughts running rampant though his head and his heart beating deafeningly loud in his ears.

_ “It ain’t about dudes or chicks,” _ Kanji’s voice repeats.  _ “I’m just terrified of not being accepted, dammit!” _

Well, that’s a normal fear, isn’t it? Most people are scared of not being accepted. That’s why they lie and fake, why they buy into beauty ads, why the spend a ridiculous amount of money on clothes. There is absolutely nothing remarkable about that particular fear.

So why did Yosuke’s chest tighten when he heard Kanji’s admission? Why can’t he stop thinking about it? His traitorous mind compares this to his jealousy over Yu about his phone and says, There’s something about Yu, he’s not just a friend.

But.

Yosuke is straight, okay? He likes girls. The worn magazines hidden under his bed can attest to that. Hell,  _ Yukiko _ can attest to that! He’d asked her out the day he met Yu! The only way in which Yu is more than a friend is that they’re partners.

**You need to sleep,** Jiraya says, startling him.  **All your worrying is giving me a headache.**

_ You don’t even have a head like this, _ Yosuke points out.

Jiraya ignores this.  **I’ll help you sleep.**

Suddenly, all of Yosuke anxieties melt away and his heart rate slows. His mouth opens with a might yawn and, before the sound is over, he is asleep.

* * *

 

Kanji awakens some hours later.

The sky outside his window is still dark and the air is still. It’s either late at night or early in the morning, then. He moves to throw his covers off and go to the bathroom, and when they don’t budge, he glances down and sees his mom. Her knees are on the floor and her head is resting on her arms over his blankets. He must have fallen asleep waiting for him to wake up.

Guilt floods his body. He can’t imagine what she’s been going through. If his senpai hadn’t rescued him in time…

Slowly, like one might do if a cat was sleeping nearby, he retracts his legs from under the blanket and swings them to the wide until his feet brush the floor. He carefully tiptoes around the stray bolts of fabric and sewing needles so he can take a leak. Has he even peed since he was kidnapped? He can’t remember. When he’s done, she sneaks back into his room and, out of curiosity, checks his phone where it’s charging on his desk. It was dead when he was rescued, so he hasn’t looked at it. To his surprise, he actually has texts.

> **New Chat**
> 
> **[Narukami Yu] → [Tatsumi Kanji]**
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Hey, I’m one of the people that found you. Your mom gave me your number.
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I just wanted to let you know there’s no rush. Just focus on getting rested up. We’ll be here when you’re ready.

He wonders which one Narukami was, but he’s still exhausted. He can ask when he goes back to school. His phone flips closed with a click and is returned to its position on the desk.

Gently, he shakes his mom awake. She blinks at him, eyes bleary, before she realizes what is going on and tugs him down to her level and into her arms. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she tells him, voice thick with emotion. “I already lost your dad. I can’t lose you, too.”

He wishes he could be strong. He wishes he could reassure her. He wishes he was an adult. But, in his mom’s arms, he’s a child again, and all he can say is, “Can you sleep with me until morning?”

The last time they’d slept together was right after his dad died.  _ Tomorrow, _ he’d told himself,  _ I’ll man up and be the man of the house. Tonight, I want my mom to hold me. _

His mom climbs into his bed, which is clearly to small for the both of them, wraps her arms as far around his middle as his girth will allow, and squeezes. “Good night, Kanji.”

“Night, Ma,” he replies, and, for the first time in what feels like a long time, he breathes.


	10. An Act of Thinking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I hope you all had great holidays, no matter what you celebrate, and I wish all of you a good start to the new year!
> 
> I would also like to announce that I will take requests for one-shots set in the Individuation universe on Individuation's Tumblr. The link is in the end notes to the first chapter of this fic and in the series notes. Please submit requests as an ask so I can see them easier. If your request fits the universe I'm creating, I'll write it, and I will eventually post these one-shots in a separate work here on AO3. I hope to hear from you soon!
> 
> As always, please enjoy this chapter.

Yu is grateful that his uncle took him in. Sure, his parents send  him a check once a month for his food and living expenses, but he’s sure his mere presence is a burden. Housing a teenage boy is hard enough on its own; housing a teenage boy with a disability is on a whole other level.

While he is appropriately thankful for the sacrifices his uncle has made, though, Yu often feels disappointed in or angry at him for how he treats Nanako.

One notable example is an evening in early June. After promising to read a book to Nanako, he answers a phone call, apologizes, and rushes out the door. Nanako’s face crumbles.

It’s at this moment Yu most desperately wishes he’d gone to speech therapy. He wants to be able to read to Nanako, to help teach her the characters on the pages. He never wants Nanako to be unhappy again. 

As he is now, though, he has the ability to take away her sadness for a bit, so he pulls out his phone and sends a text.

* * *

 

Yosuke is still in his Junes uniform when he arrives, Which thrills Nanako to bits. She’s just gotten out of the bath and is letting Yu gently towel dry her short hair, and she vibrates in his lap when Yosuke’s head pokes around the corner and he waves. “I heard,” he says, approaching them and crouching to meet Nanako’s eyes, “that you need someone to read a book to you before you go to bed.”

Nanako twists around in Yu’s lap and wraps her little arms around his neck. From the way her chest is vibrating against his, she must be saying something and considering the gentle smile on Yosuke’s face, it’s probably cute.

Yu waits until they disappear up the stairs to stand. Nanako’s usually the one to tidy up in the evening,  but he’ll do it tonight. Then, still full of nervous energy, he starts making omelets and rice balls for lunches. He can’t keep relying on a six-year-old and her nearly-absent father. If anything, Nanako should be relying on him.

**You are a good brother,** says Izanagi.  **You see her emotional needs and you attend to them in the best way you know how.**

_ If only my uncle could see them, too, _ he thinks, bitter.

**Your Hierophant is grieving in his own way. Try not to be too harsh on him.**

_ Sorry if I think a grown man should be able to handle grief better than a child who lost her mother. _

**If you insist on being so stubborn, at least try to keep peace for your Justice. You know how she worries when you fight.**

Yu slumps, because he knows Izanagi is right. Though Nanako can only understand half of  his and his uncle’s arguments, she knows what’s going on. And, unfortunately, these arguments are happening more and more frequently.  _ I won’t pick fights with him unless he’s upsetting Nanako, _ he says. That sounds like a good compromise to him.

**By the way, your Magician is behind you.**

Yu startles and whips his head around to see Yosuke. ‘I didn’t know how to get your attention without scaring you,’ his friend signs, sheepish. ‘Nanako wants you to tuck her in.’

Yu nods, rinses his hands off in the ink, and makes his way up the stairs. Now that he’s aware of Yosuke’s presence, he can feel him following, can feel the vibrations of his footfalls on the stairs behind him. 

In Nanako’s room, he makes a big show of tucking her blanket all around her, forming a cocoon to make her giggle. She wriggles her hands free, bites her lip, and slowly signs, ‘I love you, Onii-chan.’

His heart swells. Without really thinking about it, he ducks his head and presses a gentle kiss to Nanako’s forehead. When he pulls back, her eyelids are already drooping, so he and Yosuke back out of the room and click the lights off. Then he turns to Yosuke and signs, ‘Do you want some coffee before you walk home?’

* * *

 

This should be more awkward than it is. They haven’t really spoken one-on-one since their not-argument about Kanji, and now Yosuke’s at his house at nine p.m. waiting on the coffee machine to do its work.  _ This is weirdly domestic, _ Yosuke thinks, only a tad hysterical.  _ I helped him put a kid to bed and how I’m at his kitchen table. Why does it feel like we’re married? _

He’s drawn from his thoughts when Yu sets a mug of coffee in front of him. It’s a little more bitter than Yosuke usually takes it, but he’s pretty sure this is how Dojima takes his coffee so he won’t complain. ‘You’re not having any?’ he asks, noticing the lack of a second mug in front of the seat Yu lowers himself into. 

Yu shakes his head. ‘Caffeine doesn’t really agree with me.’ There’s a pause that feels weighted before he continues. ‘Thank you for coming over. I know it was short notice. And thank you for teaching her a little JSL.’

Yosuke smiles. ‘She asked me about it. She’s a good kid.’

‘Yeah, she really is.’

There’s another, slightly more awkward pause, and then Yosuke’s hands are moving. ‘I’m sorry for making such a big deal about Kanji. It was inappropriate and immature.’ Yu blinks, like he’s confused, and Yosuke rushes to continue. ‘I should have wanted to save him because he needed saving, not because I wanted to stay on the team. I recognize that now.’

He wants to keep going, to apologize and to ask for things to return to normal and to say he misses his best friend, but one of Yu’s hands covers his to stop them from moving. Then, smiling, he signs, ‘Thank you,’ his eyes swimming in some unnamed emotion, and Yosuke thinks,  _ Oh. _

* * *

 

Yu gets to school early the next morning with a singular purpose in mind: to find Yuki-senpai and Shiomi-senpai and finally ask them some questions.

It’s not that he’s usually late. He hasn’t been late to class once since school started. It’s just that he doesn’t actively try to get there early. He likes helping Nanako get ready in the mornings, and he’s more likely to run into his friends if he leaves a little later, so he’s never seen an appeal to leaving early.

But the fog is about to roll in. There’s been less of a safety net with Kanji than there was with Yukiko. The killer has to know someone is acting against them. The stakes are high, and Yu wants some answers.

He gets to school before the gates open and he waits.

* * *

 

He spots the now-familiar blue first. The vibrant color stands in stark contrast to the gloomy sky and the damp-dark pavement of the road leading up to the gate. It’s still very strange to see the color outside of the Velvet Room. Any blue is, really. He’s come to associate it so closely to Igor and Margaret that separating the two is difficult.

He recognizes Yuki-senpai and Shiomi-senpai walking on either side of the blue-clothed figure.

Who is not Elizabeth.

Who is not a woman at all.

He looks very similar to both Elizabeth and Margaret, but he is clearly a man. His clothes kind of remind Yu of a butler, as does the way he holds a black umbrella over Shiomi-senpai’s head to keep her dry. Yuki-senpai, on the other hand, is using his yellow scarf as a hood to stave off the rain. Yu wonders why he didn’t bring an umbrella of his own; the rain has been falling for several days now, so he should not have been caught unawares.

Shiomi-senpai sees him first, her red eyes locking on his own grey ones. She raises a hand in a wave and turns her head towards Yuki-senpai and their companion and says something. Yuki-senpai nods and jogs ahead to meet Yu. “I’m guessing you have some questions,” he says.

Yu nods.

“Not here. Kotone will meet us in the library in a few minutes. The less public we are, the better.” Then he continues walking towards the school, and Yu has to follow.

His phone is burning in his pocket. He’d put Yosuke on standby the night before; one button press will send him a pre-typed message to him and he will contact the appropriate authorities. Yu doesn’t think Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai are bad people, but he doesn’t want to take any chances. Not with a serial killer on the loose.

This is the first time he’s been in Yasogami’s library. He’s been way too busy to visit. Between his schoolwork, teaching his friends JSL, helping Nanako at home, and chasing down a serial killer in an alternate world inside a television, Yu barely has time to sleep. He knows he should be more concerned about this, but everything he’s doing has to be done, so he can’t rest.  _ Someday, _ he thinks,  _ when this is all over, I’m going on a vacation. Preferably somewhere with no televisions. _

**I can recommend a few good mountains. Very isolated.**

_ Sounds like heaven. _

**Not quite, but close. As close as mortals can get, at least.**

Yu has several ways he could reply to Izanagi’s sass, but he’s pulled from their mental conversation when a pale, slender finger enters his field of vision to tap on the section of the table he’s staring at. His eyes follow the finger up to the hand, up the arm, and to Yuki-senpai’s face. “Who are you talking to?” he asks, his face unreadable.

Yu fumbles for his notebook and scribbles  What do you mean?

Yuki-senpai’s eyes flash gold.

He nearly jumps out of his chair. This gold isn’t the same soft shade as Margaret’s or Elizabeth’s or their new escort’s. This is Shadow gold.

Yuki-senpai blinks and the gold fades back to blue-grey. “Don’t waste our time by playing dumb. There’s only so much Kotone and I can do to help you, so we don’t have time for games. Who is your main Persona?”

Yu’s hand shakes as he writes  Izanagi.

Yuki-senpai nods. “Thank you. Kotone will be here soon; we’ll start then.”


	11. Tomorrow Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! If you read Individuation's tumblr, then you'll have some knowledge of why this is two weeks late. I'm still sorry about it! Kinda in return, have a ton of exposition! Next chapter will be the camping trip, and I promise much gayness and teenage awkwardness, so stay tuned in!

_ Time is strange in the Sea of Souls. Minato and Minako spend what must be a very long time catching up with each other, but they never get tired and their surroundings never change. For all they know, it’s been both a second and a thousand years since their reunion. _

_ They sit side by side, leaning against each other, both touch starved beyond belief. Neither of them has had any significant amount of physical contact with other since the fight against Nyx, and their brief time with Aigis on the school roof only made the need more apparent.  _

_ It seems like as soon as they exhaust their life stories to each other, two people appear in the space before them. The first is Elizabeth, a look of relief painted on her face. She flings herself at Minato and wraps her arms around his neck. “I came as soon as I could,”she says. For once, she sounds demure. _

_ The second figure is recognizable to neither Minato nor Minako. He is a tall man wearing white, with long, dark hair and a mask on his face. Something about him makes Minato and Minako tingle. They know, deep in their bones, that this man is powerful. “Ah,” he says, his voice velvety smooth, “my two most tragic Wild Cards to date. It seems Elizabeth was right.” _

_ Elizabeth moves to curl up against Minato’s other side, wrapping a protective arm around the two of them. She feels tense. They wonder why. “About what?” they ask in unison. _

_ The man says, “I have come to make you a deal.” _

* * *

 

“Rule one,” Yuki-senpai says when Shiomi-senpai arrives, “we can’t tell you anything you don’t directly ask us about.”

“Rule two,” Shiomi-senpai continues, “we can’t tell you how we know what we know.”

“Rule three,” they say in unison, “we can’t fight alongside you and your team.”

When they don’t keep going, Yu flips back a few pages in his notepad where he’d written a few questions beforehand. Keeping the new rules in mind, he crosses a few out and tears the paper out to slide it across the table. The two older students study the paper, and Shiomi-senpai says, “Can we take this and write our answers down? It would make it easier for your team to understand.”

Begrudgingly, Yu nods.

“Great!” Shiomi-senpai chirps. “We’ll get it back to you on Monday.” Then, before Yu can protest, she and Yuki-senpai are up and out the door. He looks around the library and, seeing it empty, jumps out of his seat as well. Class is probably about to start, and King Moron won’t have mercy on him if he says he didn’t hear the bell, no matter how true of a statement it is.

* * *

 

During a break between classes, Yu lets the others know about Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai. When he tells them he’ll get the answers on Monday, Chie remarks, “Just in time for the rain to stop.”

Yosuke stiffens. “Do you think they’re in on it somehow?” he asks, eyes blazing.

Yu starts to signs, but Yukiko steamrolls over him. “We already decided to trust them, right? Plus we have tomorrow off from school, so Monday is a perfectly reasonable day to get their answers back to Yu.”

Yu huffs. While it’s annoying to be spoken over, Yukiko said almost exactly what he was going to say. He appreciates her level-headedness when it helps balance out Chie’s quick temper, but she has a tendency to speak over him when they’re all in a group.  _ How am I supposed to be a leader if I’m not allowed to lead? _

**If it frustrates you, you should speak to her about it. Your Priestess is a kind and intelligent girl—she’s just naive.**

Izanagi is, as always, frustratingly correct.  _ Sometimes, _ he thinks,  _ you’d be a better leader than me. _

**I am thou, and thou art I.**

_ You’re literally a god, Izanagi. _

**If I were truly a god, how would you be able to contain me within your mind? I am a representation of the part of you you refused to see. You are a leader. You always have been. I simply exist to aid you when you do not trust your own instincts. Anything I say to you, I pull from your own thoughts and word in a way that is easier for you to accept.** Izanagi pauses his speech for a moment, as if taking a breath.  **Talk to your Priestess. Clear this issue up before it becomes a dangerous hinderance.**

Mind reeling, Yu agrees.

* * *

 

Yosuke watches Yu and Yukiko leave the classroom at the beginning of lunch and something in his gut clenches.

It’s irritating as hell. He’s been worrying about these weird feelings for longer than he cares to admit, and the only person he can really ask for advice (read: Jiraya) isn’t very helpful about it. He just laughs at his plight and says something about self-discovery he doesn’t understand.

He turns his head towards Chie, who is reading an Okina City guidebook. “What’s that for?” he asks.

Oddly, Chie’s face goes red. She closes the book with a quick, almost deafening  _ snap _ and squeaks out a “Nothing!”

“Bullshit, it’s nothing! Why’re you looking at a guidebook?”

Chie makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh. “Yukiko and I are going to Okina City tomorrow,” she says, “and I didn’t plan anything, so I’m scrambling.”

_ A-ha, there. _ “Speaking of Yukiko, do you think there’s something between her and Yu?”

Her spine straightens. “No,” she says. “Yukiko and Yu don’t like each other like that. I’m absolutely positive.”

“How are you so sure?” Yosuke asks. “You’ve seen how people look at them. Why wouldn’t the two most attractive people at school date each other?”

“Look, Yukiko would tell me— _ wait.” _ Chie’s head whips around and stares at him with wide eyes. “Did you just call Yu attractive?”

It feels like Yosuke’s stomach falls down to his feet and his heart picks up speed. “What? No!”

“You did so! You called Yu and Yukiko the two most attractive kids in school!”

Yosuke flounders because, well,  _ he said that. _ “Can’t a guy appreciate another guy’s looks without it being weird?” he asks, and even to him it sounds weak.

Chie furrows her brow. “I mean, yeah, but you compared him to Yukiko, and you’ve asked Yukiko out a million times.”

“Look, can we drop this?” he hisses. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the classroom door slide open, and Yu and Yukiko walk in. He doesn’t want them to get the same impression as Chie.

“You literally started this conversation,” Chie says, “but okay.”

He’s safe. For now.

* * *

 

Though the sheet with Yu’s questions and Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai’s responses is deposited in his shoe locker before school on Monday, he can’t discuss anything with the others, because Kanji has come back to school.

They take Kanji to the roof to begin explaining everything, and then to Junes for a quick demonstration and introduction to Teddie. He seems bashful when Yukiko and Yosuke explain Yu’s deafness and asks to be included in JSL lessons. It’s not until everyone is eating that Yu remembers his questions, and he pulls the sheet of paper out of his pocket to read it.

> _ Question: Did you have Social Links? _
> 
> _ Answer: Yes. Wild Cards tend to draw their power from their relationships. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Question: Who were your attendants? _
> 
> _ Answer: Elizabeth for Makoto and Theodore for Kotone. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Question: Do you know who the killer is? _
> 
> _ Answer: If we did, we would have turned them in. _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Question: How can I contact you if I have more questions? _
> 
> _ Answer: We will know. _


	12. These Strained Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! I'm posting this between classes on a university computer because...
> 
> I have my first day of work today! 
> 
> Very exciting, I know. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, because we jump right back into actual plot stuff next time with Rise. Let me know what you think!

Yukiko can’t help the bubble of relief that rises in her chest when Yu offers to cook their group’s curry during the camping trip. Cooking has never been one of her strengths, even if people do expect her to be good at it from growing up in an inn. She’d just been following Chie’s lead, really, while shopping, and Yosuke bailed so some other part of Junes as soon as they started looking at veggies. She’d been about to pick up a fish when Yu stopped her hands and signed, ‘You obviously don’t know how to cook,’ with a fond smile on his face. ‘Let me take care of it.’

Another, smaller part of her is a little disappointed. She wanted to impress Chie on the off chance she was able to produce something edible. Chie organized a day-long date in Okina City! Yukiko just wishes she could do something for her in return.

**She does not hold affection for you because of what you can provide,** Konohana Sakuya says,  **but because of who you are. If you listen, you will find more ways of repaying her on your own.**

Konohana Sakuya isn’t as talkative as her friends’ Personae, if their stories are to be believed. She’s not really sure whether it’s because of Konohana Sakuya’s nature or her own.

An idea suddenly presents itself. She thinks about Chie’s glances at her lips, about a little tent in the woods at night. She looks at Chie, who gives her a breathtaking smile, and thinks,  _ I may have an idea. _

* * *

 

Kanji doesn’t really know why he even came on this dumb camping trip. He knows it’ll just be as boring as it was when he went with the middle school last year, and all his classmates are scared of him, and his mom still gets nervous when he’s gone for more than a few hours. For all intents and purposes, staying home would have been the best option.

But Take-Mikazuchi wouldn’t hear of it. 

**CAMPING! CAMPING!** His Persona cheered when he learned about the trip.  **CAMPINGCAMPINGCAM—**

_FINE!_ _We’ll go, just stop shouting!_

So here he is.

He’s glad to see Senpai and the others exit another bus when they get to the campsite, and it doesn’t take much to convince him homeroom teacher to put him in King Moron’s care for the duration of the trip. When he and the team ask for him to be put in their group, King Moron mutters something about an idiot and a delinquent, but relinquishes.

As soon as the teacher is gone, off to harass some other poor group of students, Senpai turns towards Hanamura-senpai and signs something. Hanamura-senpai says, “He was griping about having an idiot and a delinquent in the same group.”

Kanji thinks he’s the only one who notices the way Senpai’s face twists.

Later, while the others are cleaning up after dinner, Kanji asks, “Why did what King Moron say about me make you upset?”

Senpai pulls a small, worn notepad out of his bag and writes,  When he said ‘idiot,’ he was talking about me.

Kanji recoils. He hasn’t known Senpai for very long, but he just  _ knows _ he deserves respect. “Are you sure?”

I’ve been called dumb and an idiot more times than I can count. It sort of comes with the territory of being deaf. I can’t communicate the same way he can, so he assumes I can’t communicate at all.

“Shouldn’t we report him or something?” Kanji feels an all-to-familiar rage rising in his gut. “That’s, like, discriminatory language, right?”

Senpai forces a smile and shakes his head.  I don’t think he meant to be discriminatory. He really does think I’m stupid. I don’t need to cause a fuss over it.

And here’s the thing: Kanji’s a master at lying to himself. That means he can tell when someone as honest as Senpai is bullshitting, too.  _ Not like I can do anything about it,  _ he thinks, forcing back a scowl.  _ I’m just a dumb delinquent; no one would listen to me, even if I tried to say something.  _

**YOU SMART!** Take-Mikazuchi roars in his mind.  **NOT GOOD WITH BOOKS, BUT SMART! DO WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD DO!**

Kanji takes a second to think.  _ I’ll respect Senpai’s wish for now. But if I hear King Moron insult him again… _

**SMASH?**

_ Yeah, buddy. We’ll smash him up good. _

* * *

 

Chie groans and pulls her ineffective pillow up over her head to try and drown out the sounds of Hanako’s snores.  _ Why do we have to share with Hanako, anyway? _ she thinks.  _ She’s not even in our group! _

She’d been looking forward to sharing a tent with Yukiko by herself. It’s been hard for them to have alone time since they started dating; they had investigation business after school most days, and when they didn’t, Yukiko usually had to help out at the inn. Their day-long date in Okina City was the last time they were alone together, and that was weeks ago! Is some private time with her girlfriend really too much to ask for?

As if on cue, Yukiko shifts in her sleeping bag next to her. “Are you still awake, Chie?”

“It’d be a miracle if I wasn’t,” Chie groans. She releases her pillow and rolls over to face Yukiko. Her skin is pale enough that Chie can make out the lines of her face, even with next to no light. “What’s up?”

“Well, uh.” Yukiko sounds nervous. And is she blushing? Her face looks a little red, but it’s too dark to tell. “It’s a little cold tonight, don’t you think?”

Not really. Chie’s glad she has a sleeping bag, but she could go without. But then again, Tomoe’s ice-based magic has made her more resistant to the cold, so she says, “I guess.”

Yukiko fidgets. “Maybe we should, um, zip our sleeping bags together? To keep warm?”

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Feeling a heat rising in her cheeks, Chie nods. It takes a big of maneuvering, but they eventually get their bags joined to share warmth. Her heart is beating so fast she thinks it’s going to leap out of her chest.

She finds it just a little ridiculous, how affected she is by Yukiko. They’ve been friends for years, shared baths and futons and clothes. Many of these experiences even came  _ after _ Chie realized her feelings.

But this…

This is  _ different. _

Because they’re  _ dating _ now. Now Yukiko knows how Chie cares for her, and she’s made the first move. They lay facing each other in the dark, their chests nearly touching. She can feel Yukiko’s breath on her skin, and if she extends her fingers, she can brush against the soft skin of Yukiko’s belly where her school-issued gym shirt has ridden up.  _ Gods, _ what has she done to deserve this?

And then, just when Chie thinks it can’t get much better, one of Yukiko’s hands reaches out and she locks their fingers together. “I don’t think I’ll have to worry about the cold anymore,” she whispers, and Chie can barely hear it over Hanako’s continued snoring and the blood rushing in her ears.

“Yeah,” she says, “me neither.”

* * *

 

Yosuke waits until he sees Yu’s breath even out before he gently kicks Kanji in the side. Kanji, predictably, thrashes and rears up with a shout. “What the hell, man?”

“Shut up!” Yosuke hisses. “King Moron might hear you!”

“Don’t kick me if you don’t want me to yell!” But, thankfully, his voice is quieter, so Yosuke takes that as a win.

Yosuke groans and sits up, peering over at Kanji in the low light. “Look,” he says, “I wanted to ask you about something.”

“I ain’t giving you my animal crackers,” is Kanji’s immediate response.

“This isn’t about your friggin’ animal crackers!” He sighs, frustrated, but he finally has Kanji’s attention so he goes on. “When did you realize you… y’know…  _ liked _ guys?”

Kanji looks puzzled, but it seems that he understands the gravity of the situation. “It’s hard to say,” he admits. “Shirogane’s the only person I’ve liked in a long time. I had some crushes on girls when I was little, but I stopped caring when they made fun of me. Shirogane’s the first person who showed any real interest in me since I was a kid; I’m not sure if I like  _ all _ guys, or if it’s just him.”

_ Well. That doesn’t help. _ Yosuke’s not really sure what he was expecting but he was  _ hoping _ to confirm his heterosexuality. Kanji’s fifteen-year abstinence from romance is less than helpful in this endeavor. He blows his bangs out of his eyes and starts to lay back down when Kanji speaks again. “This is about Senpai, isn’t it?”

Yosuke’s face lights up like a traffic light and his spine stiffens. “What makes you say that?” he asks, and even he can hear that his voice is high-pitched and strained.

“I’m a dumbass, but I ain’t stupid. I know when two people like each other.”

“I like girls,” Yosuke says weakly. Then, “Wait, you think Yu likes me?”

He can see Kanji blink at him. “Dude. That’s even less of a secret than Satonaka-senpai and Amagi-senpai.”

_ “What?!” _

* * *

 

‘You guys go on ahead,’ Yu signs when Chie and Yukiko invite him to the river. ‘I don’t really like swimming.’

Which is, well, sort of a lie. He doesn’t mind swimming, but swimming unsupervised is another story. 

Once, very soon after he became deaf, he and his parents went on a vacation to the mountains. It’d been the first time in a long time all three of them were together outside of a hospital; even back then his parents spent more time at work than at home. Not even this new, all-encompassing silence could dampen the joy he felt at having his parents all to himself for a whole week.

There was a little lake behind the cabin they were staying in. He’d just learned how to swim before he got sick and, having just beat a serious illness, he felt invincible. About three days into their stay his dad was watching him swim while his mother cleaned up after lunch. Then, his dad stopped paying attention.

Later, he would find out he took a business call and went inside. Not that the reason for his negligence is important, of course, just that it happened. Yu, hoping to impress his dad, swam out farther than he should have. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ever since, the idea of swimming outside a fully-staffed public pool makes him remember the panic he felt that day. Rivers, like the one his friends want to go to, make him even more nervous. Especially after all this rain, they’re sure to be dangerous, and he doesn’t want to risk it.

He watches his friends leave, trekking into the forest, then does a quick about-face to look at his two most mysterious senpai.

They’re together, as always. Shiomi-senpai has her track pants rolled up and her jacket open and is fanning herself with a hand. Yuki-senpai, conversely, is still wearing his absudly long yellow scarf, tucked and wrapped intricately to avoid it dragging on the forest floor.  _ Why wear it if you don’t want it to get dirty? _ Yu wonders.

Then Yu spots something.

There, standing against Shiomi-senpai’s white t-shirt, is a golden chain, and from that chain hangs a ring.


	13. Those Words You Really Mean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rise time! This chapter will probably seem a little weird and jumpy because I wanted to cover her whole rescue at once, like I did with Kanji and Yukiko, so I apologize for that. I also don't know if I'll be able to update next week because chapter fourteen isn't done yet and I'm going home this weekend for Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy this chapter regardless!

They’re barely back from their camping trip when Kanji approaches Yu on his walk to school. In slow, clumsy JSL, he signs, ‘Shopping district busy. Case?’

Yu thinks back to the morning’s weather forecast and signs back, ‘It will rain tomorrow. We will check the TV then.’

Kanji nods, his face resolute, and their walk continues.

Something ugly twists in Yu’s gut. Sure, Kanji looks older than he is, but the reality is that he is the youngest member of the group. When Yu looks at him, and image of Nanako appears, unbidden, in his mind. He thinks about the little scars they all have but refuse to talk about; the cuts that are just a little too deep or a little too long for Dia or Diarama to heal. He thinks about the fear he feels when someone gets knocked out, how still they go, how disoriented they are when he forces the revival bead past their pale lips. He thinks about all the money he’s spent on bandages and salves and painkillers for when he and Yukiko are too trained to heal people with their magic.

Yu forgets, sometimes, that he and his friends are just kids. Then, when he remembers, he feel that they are missing out on a vital, carefree part of their youths. While he’s grateful for the addition of Kanji’s raw strength, he already mours that little bit of his childhood that is being ripped away.

**All the more reason,** Izanagi says in his mind,  **to catch this killer quickly. The faster you bring them to justice, the faster you can all return to your normal lives.**

For once, Yu needs no extra prodding to agree.

* * *

 

Yosuke has been acting weird since the camping trip. Yu doesn’t have any concrete proof, but Yosuke has been fidgety, and he won’t look Yu in the eye anymore. Which is why, when the opportunity arises, he insists Yosuke accompany him and Kanji to warn the killer’s next victim.

The girls already having plans is very helpful; Kanji’s JSL isn’t good enough for him to interpret for Yu yet, so Yosuke  _ needs _ to come for any communication to be effective. ‘Besides,’ he wheedles when Yosuke still looks unsure, ‘when else will you have an excuse to meet an idol?’

Finally, Yosuke agrees.

* * *

 

It’s not until Kanji chases the enormous crowd of admirers away from the tofu shop that Risette appears. 

Yosuke’s heart rate picks up and he nearly cries out in relief.  _ See? _ he wants to say to Kanji.  _ I’m straight! _ Because even though she’s wearing an apron and a handkerchief that hides the top of her head, Yosuke can still see how silky her skin is, how puckered and pink her lips are, how her body dips and curves. Risette’s physique is about as far away from a guy’s as you can get, and if that can get Yosuke excited, he  _ has _ to be straight.

But then.

Risette keeps looking at Yu.

Nothing too obvious, but there all the same. She looks up at him through her thick eyelashes while she rings up the tofu he buys, nibbles on her bottom lip, angles her body towards him.

There’s a pang of jealousy, stabbing at him like he stabs at Shadows with his kunai.

For the life of him, he can’t pinpoint which one he’s jealous of.

* * *

 

They stop the stalker, but it doesn’t work. Kujikawa Rise gets kidnapped.

Her Midnight Channel appearance is even more uncomfortable than Kanji’s, in Yu’s opinion. She keeps tugging on her bikini, showing more and more skin each time, and she promises to “bare it all” before the screen goes black.

He just barely resists the temptation to punch a wall.  _ Damn it! _ he thinks, frustration manifesting in the form of angry tears.  _ I really thought we had them this time! _

As always, Izanagi is there to calm him.  **Do not fret. You have already saved two others. So long as you remain vigilant, you will rescue this girl as well.**

Yu nods, screws his eyes shut, and takes a few deep breaths.  _ You’re right. We can do this. _

* * *

 

It’s a strip club.

Of course it is.

Yu counts himself lucky as they venture deeper and deeper into Kujikawa Rise’s dungeon. At least he can’t hear the music the others are complaining about. He even finds the pounding base he feels with his whole body a little comforting, if he’s honest.

Maybe, once Kujikawa Rise is safe again, he’ll ask to borrow Yosuke’s headphones.

* * *

 

Nanako sets up a Tanabata tree all by herself. Yu feels bad; he’d forgotten all about Tanabata in his rush to save Kujikawa Rise. He pats Nanako on the head, relishing in her bright smile, and writes  I wish to become closer with my friends.

* * *

 

It’s a few days into the rain when the team finally gets to Rise.

They could have gotten here yesterday, but Yu insisted they all rest. He doesn’t feel comfortable confronting a powerful Shadow on anything less than their full health.

As it turns out, he was right to wait.

Because after they fight Kujikawa Rise’s Shadow and Himiko awakens, Teddie goes berserk.

Yu and Yukiko spend about half the fight swallowing chewing souls to keep their magic going. He knows how crucial healing is during a normal fight, and Teddie’s Shadow is  _ brutal. _ He hits hard and takes damage like a tank. Plus, Yu’s pretty sure he’s going to have nightmares about this one; he is, by far, the scariest one they’ve seen so far.

Finally, the behemoth falls. Teddie, something having changed within him, leaves the group so he can recuperate, and they escort Rise back to Junes. They’re all exhausted, but Yu can feel the sense of accomplishment they share.  _ We’ve done it again. _

**Was there ever any doubt?** Izanagi asks.

* * *

 

The rain stops.

King Moron is dead.

* * *

 

Everyone is, of course, frantic. Was Rise a decoy? Is the killer growing more desperate? Could there be more than one killer? Gods, Yu doesn’t think he can handle  _ two _ bad guys with Personae at once, so he hopes not.

The sense of victory they shared only a few days ago is gone, replaced with confusion and fear.

‘You should talk to Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai,’ Yosuke signs to him. They’re all in the Junes food court, so JSL makes talking about the investigation easier. Kanji is doing his best to keep up, and Rise looks completely lost, though. A more private base would be preferable, but none of their houses has a TV big enough to go through, so Junes it is. ‘They’re Persona users, right? Maybe they know something.’

Yu agrees, but… ‘Exams are coming up, and after they’re over it’s summer break. We need to decide what we want to ask them soon.’

Apparently tired of being left out of the conversation, Rise says, ‘Has anyone tried to see Teddie after his fight?” Her question is vague enough that anyone passing by wouldn’t be able to glean anything from it, for which Yu is grateful. She very well may be taking over as their navigator, after all, so a little bit of intuition outside of the TV is a good trait.

Chie and Yukiko both shake their heads. “We couldn’t get in a few days ago,” Yukiko says, worrying at her lip with her teeth. “We tried for ten minutes, but we had to leave when people started to notice us.”

Yu signs to Yosuke, ‘Ask Rise if she feels up to going in today.’ Yosuke does, and Rise’s face lights up, but before she can answer, Yu catches sight of a familiar red-blue-yellow figure.

* * *

 

Later, while they’re walking home, Yu signs, ‘Has Teddie been calling me his sensei this whole time?’ and Yosuke laughs, and everything feels almost normal again.


	14. Minds Craving More and More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I'm sick, which sucks for me, but that means you get this update a little earliere than usual. A lot happens in this chapter (it's over 2000 words long!), and I hope you like it. Let me know what you think!

The question the group decides to ask is  _ Is there a way to sense a Persona user in the real world? _

Yu debates asking more than one, but something in his gut warns him off it. Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai are being mysterious for a reason, and Yu has a feeling them living with Velvet Room attendants has something to do with it. He doesn't want to be too greedy with his questions in case they withdraw their help.

The team decides to have just Yu and Yukiko approach Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai. He needs someone who knows JSL relatively well to come with him in case the question sparks a discussion, and Yukiko, all proper and small, is less conspicuous than Yosuke. Yosuke, instead, will be lying in wait nearby with Chie and Kanji in case anything goes wrong. Rise and Teddie wanted to come, too, but Rise’s idol status and Teddie’s motormouth would make them stand out too much.

_ Do you think all this planning is overkill? _ Yu asks Izanagi the night before as he tries to fall asleep.

It takes a moment for him to respond.  **I will never dissuade caution. Someone you know has been killed in relation to what you are working on; it is only natural to be worried.**

_ There’s a ‘but,’ isn’t there? _

**However,** Izanagi says pointedly,  **I do not believe this murder is like the others. The first two victims didn’t have wounds when they were found, correct? But your teacher did. Is that not strange?**

_ Well, when you put it that way… _

**Be careful. There are many depending on your continued safety.**

His mind flashes to Nanako and he sighs.  _ I know. I’ll be careful. _

* * *

 

Everyone gets to school early on Friday to wait for their senpai. The gates aren’t open yet, so Kanji helps Yosuke and Chie hop the fence to keep them out of view while Yu and Yukiko wait on the road. Once they’re out of sight, Yu turns to Yukiko and signs, ‘How are you and Chie going?’

She goes pink, but she smiles. ‘Good,’ she signs. ‘She makes me happy, She’s letting me set the pace, so we’re going slow.’

‘No shame in that.’

‘Is there anyone you like?’

Yu lets a huff of air blow from his nose. ‘Yes, but I don’t think it’ll happen.’

‘Why not?’

‘I’m not really their type, is all.’

Understanding flashes in her eyes. Then she smiles, soft and fond, and signs, ‘I’m sure Chie thought the same thing about me. Isn’t Yosuke worth the change?’

Yu winces. ‘Am I that obvious?’

‘Only to anyone with eyes.’

‘You’re a lot sassier when people can’t hear you, huh?’

Yukiko sticks her tongue out at him. ‘All I’m saying is that Yosuke may surprise you.’

Out of the corner of his eye, Yu sees Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai approaching the school with their blue-clad attendant. It’s the man again (Theodore, he thinks his name is).  _ Maybe he brings them to school and Elizabeth picks them up. But why? They’re in high school—they shouldn’t need supervision. _

He signs, ‘We can continue this later,’ and they wait.

* * *

 

Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai don’t seem nearly as mysterious as Yu made them out to be. 

They’re perfectly normal appearance-wise; a little on the short side, a little more attractive than most, but normal nonetheless. The tall, blue-clad man walking with them seems a little strange, but from what Yu has told them he’s not exactly human, so she decides to let it slide.

Their escort departs before they reach Yukiko and Yu, bowing to his charges like a butler and walking back down the road. Shiomi-senpai sees them and smiles, and Yuki-senpai acknowledges them with a slight nod. “You must be one of Yu-kun’s friends!” Shiomi-senpai says, sticking a hand out for Yukiko to shake. “I’m Shiomi Kotone. It’s nice to meet you!”

Something clicks in the back of Yukiko’s head (girls’ volleyball team from Tatsumi Port Island, a girl with red eyes and brown hair and a big smile) but the thought is gone nearly as soon as it comes. So she says, “Yes, I’m Amagi Yukiko. Yu asked me to accompany him to help translate his sign language.”

“Is this really the place for this conversation?” Yuki-senpai, who has not actually introduced himself, asks.

Yukiko’s eyes dark over to Yu’s, and he nots gratefully at her before signing, ‘We only have one question today. It shouldn’t take long,’ for her to translate. She remembers their brief conversation about etiquette and respect when it comes to how deaf people communicate, so she translates it directly. She’s glad Yu let her know how to do this; she feels like they’ve become closer as a result.

Shiomi-senpai elbows Yuki-senpai in the side and says, “Don’t mind him. He’s just a big grump. What did you want to ask us?”

Yu signs, ‘Is there a way for us to sense a Persona user in the real world?’

Shiomi-senpai’s smile turns a bit sad. “No,” she says. “It would take too long to develop that ability for it to be helpful to you.”

Bitter, Yuki-senpai adds, “If Igor ever left that damn room, he could.”

“He has rules he has to follow, just like we do,” Shiomi-senpai protests. Her red eyes lock onto his blue-grey ones and.

And.

The strangest thing happens.

Their eyes glaze over but remain locked, unblinking. It reminds Yukiko of how they all look when they’re talking to their Personae, but  _ different, _ somehow. It makes her feel uneasy. Yu’s stiff body makes her think he feels the same.

They only remain like that for about ten seconds before Yuki-senpai breaks the connection. “Fine,” he growls. Then he tilts his head to look at Yukiko and Yu. “Sorry we can’t help you with this. Good luck.”

Shiomi-senpai says, “The rest of your friends are terrible spies, by the way!”

Yu and Yukiko both flush.

* * *

 

Another round of exams comes and goes, and then it’s finally time for summer vacation. Yosuke doesn’t feel much like celebrating, though. His parents have made it clear that they expect him to pick up more hours at Junes while school is on break. He wants to protest that it’s not  _ his _ fault his dad is a regional manager of a friggin’ chain store, but he  _ does _ want to save up some money, so he doesn’t.

Almost as soon as the final bell rings, Rise bursts through the doors of their classroom and makes a beeline for Yu’s desk. All male activity in the room ceases. Rise, either oblivious or uncaring, hops up to sit on Yu’s desk, crosses her ankles, and chirps, “Senpai, I have an amazing idea! If you show me around town, you can teach me JSL while we walk!”

And Yu gives her that fond smile of his Yosuke sometimes wishes he could bottle up and keep for himself and nods. Rise squeals in excitement. Yosuke watches, silent, as Yu packs up his things and stands, and Rise latches onto his arm.

_ That’s it, _ he thinks. He shoves his stuff in his bag and heads to the library.

Yosuke hasn’t spent much time here since his transfer, but a library is a library, so he figures it won’t by too hard to find an encyclopedia. The library committee student looks kind of annoyed at having to deal with someone so close to break, but Yosuke ignores him. 

Quarry in hand, Yosuke settles in a chair at the table farthest away from the door, flips to the back of the book for the index, and finds the word “sexuality.”

> **Homosexuality,** sexual interest in and attraction to members of one’s own sex.

_ But that doesn’t feel right, _ he complains to Jiraya.  _ I like girls! I just…  _

**You just what?**

_ Fine! I like Yu! _

He can feel Jiraya’s sigh of relief.  **Finally,** he says.  **Keep reading. I’m sure you will find something that will help.**

A few minutes of scanning later, Yosuke finds:

> **Bisexuality,** in human sexuality, sexual interest in and attraction to members of one’s own and the opposite sex. A bisexual is thus a person with both heterosexual and homosexual desires.

The article goes on, but Yosuke doesn’t need to keep reading. It feels like a great burden he didn’t realize he was carrying has been taken away. He feels light. He feels like he might cry.

_ There’s a word for it. _

* * *

 

A boy appears on the Midnight Channel.

* * *

 

“Isn’t Kubo that weird guy who kept trying to ask you out?” Chie asks, lying on her belly on the tatami mats in Yukiko’s room. She knows it’s a bit of a leading question; Chie doesn’t want to spend the first summer she has a girlfriend trying to save a guy who regularly creeps on and might have kidnapped said girlfriend.

Yukiko, who is reading a book she refuses to let Chie see, says, “You would have described Yosuke that way once.”

Chie rolls onto her side. “Yosuke has a good heart. He’s just a mess.”

“I don’t think you, of all people, get to call someone else a mess.”

“Well, that’s just rude.” Chie gets onto her knees to shuffle over to Yukiko and gently headbutts her shoulder. “I’m just saying,” she continues, “that if you don’t want to do this one, I’m with you.”

Yukiko sighs, closes her book, and leans her cheek on the top of Chie’s head. “Kubo-kun isn’t my favorite person,” she admits, “but we don’t get to pick and choose who we save. If we don’t go, Kubo-kun will die. I don’t like him, but I don’t want him to die, either.”

Chie groans and, with a very dramatic flair, her head falls from Yukiko’s shoulder to land on her thigh. “How are you so mature about this?” she complains.

Yukiko’s fingers find their way into Chie’s short hair. “You know you love it.”

“Yeah,” Chie says, “I do.”

* * *

 

Kanji, for once, is the first member of the team to get to the food court. He orders himself a soda and some fries and sits at the usual table. Hanamura-senpai got the rest of the staff to stop moving the chairs they usually commandeer back to where they should be, so he has to tuck his knees a little to fit at the table.

It doesn’t take long for another to come but, to his surprise, it’s Kujikawa. “No one else is here yet?” she asks, sounding disappointed.

Kanji shakes his head and Kujikawa sits down. “Satonaka-senpai and Amagi-senpai will come together, and I think Hanamura-senpai is still working.”

“And Yu-senpai?”

_ Ah. I get it now. _ Kanji shifts his weight in his chair. “He usually gets here last. His cousin is pretty young and his uncle works a lot, so he does a lot around the house.” He pauses, then says, “I don’t think he likes you the way you like him,” as gently as he can.

Kujikawa leans on her hand on the table and gives Kanji a sad smile. “I know. I’m not blind.”

A humorless chuckle escapes Kanji’s throat. “Yeah, Senpai ain’t as subtle as he thinks he is.”

“It’s probably better that my feelings are in vain, anyway,” Kujikawa muses. “I haven’t decided whether or not to go back to idol work yet, and idols aren’t allowed to date.”

“They’re not?”

She looks bitter now. “We have to seem available to our fans. We sell more tickets and albums and merchandise if we portray a fantasy that their dedication can earn our affection.” The way she says this, so robotic and emotionless, makes Kanji think this is how the information was pitched to her to begin with. The idea of some middle-aged guy telling a young girl that…

Kanji has to fight the urge to slam his fish on the table. “That’s messed up,”   
he growls, and he knows his voice sounds dangerous. Kujikawa looks shocked, like she hadn’t expected him to react like that. “Hey, Kujikawa, if anyone tries to put the moves on you, let me know, yeah? I ain’t as smart or charming as Senpai, but I can scare the hell outta just about anyone.”

For a second, Kujikawa doesn’t say anything. Then, eyes slightly wet, she says, “Only if you call me ‘Rise,’ Kanji-kun.”

“Sure thing, Rise.”

She looks like she wants to keep going, but she’s interrupted by the arrival of all four of their senpai. ‘Let’s catch ourselves a murderer,’ Senpai signs, his face resolute, and, yeah. This conversation can wait.


	15. Seize This Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter could also be called "Yosuke's Bisexual Distress."

“I,” Yosuke says, glaring at the floor, “am  _ sick _ of these teleportation tile things.” The team has split up for this particular floor of Void Quest because of the frustrating gimmick so Rise can make a more comprehensive map. Of course he got stuck with Teddie, too, so he’s had to deal with his annoying chatter all afternoon. If he hears one more bear pun, he’s going to lose it. “How’s that map coming along, Rise?”

_ “You guys can come on back,” _ comes her reply over whatever mental link they all have in the TV world.  _ “Chie-senpai and Yu-senpai are back, too, and Yukiko-senpai and Kanji-kun are almost done.” _

Yosuke has no idea why Yu split the teams up this way, but he doesn’t feel like complaining about it. He just lets Teddie shoot back an affirmative and fishes the GoHo-M Yu gave him out of his bag. This is all they’re doing today; splitting up means they’re all tired, and Yu’s not going to let them continue now. 

“Hey, Yosuke?”

He freezes in his motions. Teddie doesn’t usually sound that serious. “What’s up?”

Teddie still wears his bear suit in the TV world, so it’s a little hard to read his expression, but Yosuke knows he’s feeling insecure when he says, “Do you think Sensei likes me?”

Yosuke holds back a snort because  _ honestly. _ “Yu likes everyone on the team, Ted.”

“He just started being able to understand me, though! How can he like me if we barely talk?”

Yosuke chooses to ignore the fact that “barely” was probably “bear-ly.” “You guys communicating through me or Yukiko is still communicating. You’re friends.”

And now Teddie looks like he might cry, and Yosuke really does not want to deal with that, so he chucks the GoHo-M to the ground to warp them back to the entrance. He’s having a hard enough time dealing with his own feelings, let alone dealing with those of a Shadow-bear-turned-kind-of-human.

_ This, _ he tells Jiraya,  _ is not how I wanted to spend my summer. _

And Jiraya laughs, because he’s just a jerk like that.

* * *

 

Rise thinks they’re almost to where Kubo is so after everyone heads home from Junes Yu returns to the store to stock up on healing items. He has to be a little conservative with his shopping; sure, Shadows drop money and items he can sell for money, but making sure everyone has good armor and weapons is a top priority, and an expensive priority at that. By the time that particular errand is done, Yu has scraps to deal with. He’d hopes to fold envelopes over the summer to save up some cash, but Void Quest has officially dashed those dreams.

He’s leaving the store with his usual haul (Mr. Salts, Mad Bulls, an inordinate amount of granola bars, etc.) when he passes the door to the Velvet Room and realizes how long it’s been since he dropped in for a visit. Margaret is one of his bonds, after all; maybe he should say hello.

The transition, as always, is more than a little jarring. It gets a little easier every time but, again, it’s been a while. He has to blink rapidly to make his vision stop swimming.

Igor is absent when he’s lucid again. Margaret is sitting in her normal place, the compendium sitting next to her, but, this time, that black and white cat is in her lap, luxuriating in her pets. ‘Hello, Yu,’ she signs.

He signs, ‘I’m sorry I haven’t visited for a while.’

‘You never have to apologize to me. My purpose is to aid you on your journey. You have no obligation to visit me for a social call.’

‘Doesn’t it get lonely with just you and Igor?’ Yu asks.

‘There is more to the Velvet Room than what you can see,’ Margaret signs, a wry smirk pulling at her lips. ‘Time and space function differently here. Though my earliest memory is of the Velvet Room, Igor was not the only one who had a hand in raising me.’ Her eyes flutter shut and she takes a deep breath.  _ Inhale. Exhale. _ Her eyes drift back open and she continues, ‘A piano player and an opera singer provide a near-constant soundtrack for us. A human artist has made a home for himself here, painting portraits of those who visit us no longer. My siblings—’ Her fingers stutter. ‘My younger sister, Lavenza, is preparing for the arrival of her guest in a few years’ time. It is not as lonely here as it may seem.’

“Do you ever wish you could leave?’

Margaret isn’t an overly-expressive person, but Yu can tell what he’s asked has triggered some intense emotion. ‘In my experience,’ she signs, face carefully blank, ‘people who experience your world tend to not return. My family cannot take another one of us leaving.’

Yu winces and signs, ‘I’m sorry for upsetting you,’ because he doesn’t have anything else to say.

* * *

 

By the time Kubo’s Shadow falls, Chie is too annoyed to feel relief.

Because  _ honestly, _ how unfair did Kubo want to be? Dumb baby in a dumb lego suit who attacks twice a turn/ Seriously, what the hell? And, sure, she wasn’t expecting a potential serial killer to go down easy, but this was just excessive.

Yosuke and Kanji drag Kubo to his feet after he falls and, after a curt nod of approval from Yu, Kanji knocks him out with a quick, controlled punch. Kubo didn’t awaken to a Persona after his Shadow was defeated, so he doesn’t need to know how the group operates. Yosuke and Kanji each sling one of his arms over their shoulders to carry him out.

Chie looks over at Yukiko, who smiles at her through her exhaustion. These big fights are always hard on her; she’s the group’s primary healer and, even with all the magical energy she has, it drains her fast. “Do you need help walking?” she asks, voice soft.

Yukiko’s answering nod is quick and grateful. “Please.”

Chie is at her side in an instant, wrapping one arm around Yukiko’s waist and letting one of Yukiko’s arms fall over her shoulders. Yukiko is taller than Chie, but Chie is stronger, and she actually likes how Yukiko’s weight feels leaning against her, so she doesn’t mind.

Her tired girlfriend secure, Chie turns to Yu and says, “What do we do with Kubo?”

Everyone looks at Yu, seeking guidance. After a moment, he signs something Chie can mostly understand, and Yosuke translates, “One of us needs to take him to the police station before he wakes up.” Then, Yu winces and continues. “It shouldn’t be me,” Yosuke translates. “My uncle doesn’t like it when he thinks I’m poking around the investigation.”

“I’ll do it, Senpai,” Kanji says. “I’m the one they’ll believe knocked him out.”

Rise says, “Say you found him at Junes. The security cameras can back you up.”

Yu nods in approval and starts signing again. Yosuke translates, “Good idea, Rise. Kanji will leave first and the rest of us will wait for a few minutes.”

Yukiko makes a disappointed noise near Chie’s cheek. Chie tries to ignore the shiver that runs down her spine at how close Yukiko’s lips are to her ear and tries to placate her by rubbing little circles on her side.

Plan made, they move out.

* * *

 

Yu is helping Nanako with her summer homework when his phone buzzes. He flashes his young cousin an apologetic smile and flips it open.

> **New Chat**
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]→[Narukami Yu]**
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** Hi, Yu-senpai! ヽ(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ Chie-senpai gave me your number! I hope you don’t mind!
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I don’t mind. I’m sorry I forgot to give you my number myself.
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** It’s fiiine~ I was just wondering what you were planning on wearing to the summer festival. Now that we don’t have to worry about Kubo, it’s all I can think about!
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Just what I normally wear, I think.
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** Σ(･口･)
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** Yu-senpai, festivals are special! You can’t just wear street clothes!
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I didn’t exactly bring my entire wardrobe to Inaba, Rise.
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** Well, it just so happens that I’m at Kanji-kun’s house to work on summer homework, and Mama Tatsumi says she can lend you a yukata! (　＾∇＾)
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** What?
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** Textiles are her livelihood. I can’t let her lend me her merchandise.
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** “I haven’t seen Kanji this happy in ages! If Narukami-kun helped him get real friends, lending him a yukata for the night is the least I can do!”
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** That’s what Mama Tatsumi says.
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** Aw! (´ω｀*) Kanji-kun’s blushing! Look, Yu-senpai!
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise] sent an image**
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** If Tatsumi-san insists…
> 
> **[Kujikawa Rise]:** She does!
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** When does she want me to come to the shop?

* * *

 

Yosuke thinks he’s handling his newly discovered bisexuality pretty well until Yu shows up at the shrine in a yukata.

It looks great on him, because  _ everything _ looks great on him, the  _ jerk. _ The dark blue fabric contrasts nicely with his pale skin, and the yellow obi makes him noticeable, even from a distance. It’s not completely done up at the top, probably because of the heat, and Yosuke can see the uppermost part of Yu’s slender chest, already glistening a little with sweat, and,  _ wow, _ Yosuke is suddenly very,  _ very _ thirsty.

Chie notices his plight and, sympathetic (he saw the similar reaction she had when Yukiko arrived), passes him her bottle of green tea. In the middle of one of his greedy gulps, Yu sees them and smiles, and Yosuke choked.  _ Fuck, _ he thinks,  _ this is going to be a long night. _

* * *

 

“Looks like your little plan worked.”

Kanji-kun is speaking in a soft, low tone, lower than Rise thought he was capable of. They’re trailing behind their senpai and Teddie as they explore the festival. She’s taking in the details: how Yosuke-senpai and Yu-senpai angle their bodies towards each other in a less-than-platonic way, how Yukiko-senpai catches Chie-senpai’s shirt with her fingers when it gets particularly crowded so they don’t get separated. It’s the little things like that Rise really loves. What can she say? She’s a romantic. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she replies, just as soft.

Kanji-kun barks out a laugh. “Bullshit, you don’t. Hanamura-senpai almost popped a boner back there and you know it.”

Rise giggles. “I will neither confirm nor deny my hand in that.”

The corners of Kanji’s mouth quirk up and he turns to face ahead again. The sun is starting to set, and maybe it’s the way shadows are falling across his face, rarely so soft as it is now, but…

Kanji-kun looks  _ beautiful. _

Not beautiful like her, or like Yu-senpai or Yukiko-senpai—he’s been too reckless with his body to be traditionally beautiful anymore. But he looks at their friends and he looks kind and soft and good.

Something in her gut tightens and she thinks,  _ Oh, no. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all enjoyed! I hope to post the next chapter next Monday, but we'll see what happens between now and then.


	16. Deep Deep Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope y'all enjoy this chapter!
> 
> I don't know if I'll post something next Monday or not. Next week is my spring break and I'll be going to Canada to visit relatives. Chapter 17 is pretty much done, but I don't know if I'll have time to type it all up. So either I'll see y'all next week or on the 25th.

Yu has absolutely no idea how he got into this situation.

First, they have to sleep in a love hotel for their school trip. Yosuke has been acting weird enough around Yu since the summer festival (not looking him in the eye, not sitting next to him during lunch, not acting like  _ Yosuke) _ without the two of them being shoved in a room made for sex with a single, rotating bed like some kind of cheap porno or poorly-written fanfiction.

Now, Rise has dragged them to some club for drinks. (“Non-alcoholic!” she insisted at Yu’s startled look. “No booze, I promise!”) It’s like the strip club all over again, Yu thinks. It’s dark with sporadically flashing lights, so it will be hard to read lips and use JSL while he’s here.

While Rise and Kanji try to convince Shirogane to join them, Yu grabs Yosuke by the elbow and pulls him aside. He pulls out his phone and writes a quick message in his memos.  Signing and lip reading will be hard here. I need you to help.

* * *

 

Even in the low light, Yu can tell Tosuke looks a little panicked. He licks his lips, swallows visibly, and says, slow, so Yu can clearly see, “Whatever you need, Partner.”

“No booze, my ass,” Yosuke mumbles. He sitting between Yu, who is sober, and Teddie, who is markedly less sober. He raises his voice so Rise can hear to say, “What happened to no alcohol?”

Rise squints at him. “They said they weren’t gonna put booze in the drinks!” she slurs with a pout and, yeah, if Yosuke needed proof he still likes girls, this would be it. Rise sprawls dramatically and ends up in the lap of a visibly uncomfortable Shirogane. “Naoto-kun, tell Yosuke-senpai to stop bullying me!”

Yukiko bursts into ugly laughter out of nowhere and, deciding Rise is playing some sort of game, clambers into Chie’s lap. Chie goes pink.

Then Rise complains about being treated like a kid and brings out the King’s Game.

It gets off to a rough start. Teddie tries to make Yu kiss him, but misses and tackles Kanji instead. Then, a couple turns later, when Yu’s the King, he makes Yosuke give him a piggyback ride around the room. He tries not to let himself get distracted by Yu’s weight, or by Yu’s arms around his neck falling down to his chest, or by Yu’s thighs resting on his hips.  _ My life, _ he thinks,  _ was so much simpler before Yu. _

Despite his new sexual frustrations, Yosuke feels more at ease with Yu than he has in a while. He knows Yu has noticed his distance, and he can only wonder if Yu know why, but this feels  _ easy. _

**That’s what love feels like,** Jiraya says, and Yosuke nearly chokes on the amber-colored drink he is cautiously consuming.

So, yeah, things are going kind of well now.

Until Rise almost spills the beans about  _ everything. _

* * *

 

A sleepless night later, Yu watches as his schoolmates wait for the train to come. Rise, Yukiko, and Teddie all look sheepish; they’re probably embarrassed about “getting drunk off the atmosphere” at the club. Yu didn’t think shame was even a word in Teddie’s vocabulary until now.

He’s mostly glad Yosuke isn’t avoiding him anymore. He has an arm slung around Yu’s shoulder in an easy, natural affection, his chest shaking slightly as he laughs at something Chie is saying. It feels like things are back to normal after whatever it was that freaked Yosuke out. Maybe hanging out at the club wasn’t so bad, after all.

Yu finally sees who he was looking for: Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai. They’ve been strangely evasive this whole trip, but they both look a lot happier than he’s ever seen them. Yuki-senpai is  _ smiling, _ which is something Yu never thought he would see. And, looking closer, Yu can see that Shiomi-senpai isn’t wearing a necklace anymore. 

The ring has moved to her left ring finger.

_ This trip must have been good for them, _ he thinks.

* * *

 

Shirogane Naoto appears on the Midnight Channel.

* * *

 

Senpai, for the first time since Kanji has known him, looks  _ angry. _

He’s still not too good at JSL, but he gathers that Senpai thinks Shirogane got kidnapped on purpose. Amagi-senpai and Hanamura-senpai have to take turns trying to calm him down as they progress through the lab. On one such occasion, when Senpai has to be restrained from trying to wrestle a Shadow to the floor, Kanji sidles up to Rise and says, “Do you think Shirogane  _ wanted _ to get kidnapped?”

Rise blinks, like he startled her. “Oh, Kanji-kun! Sorry, I was thinking.”

“About what?” Kanji asks.

“Something feels weird about this one,” she says, lips pursed. “You know how we can go back into other places in the TV to train?” When Kanji nods, she continues, “Well, the bathhouse and Void Quest feel different from the castle and the strip club. I always chalked it up to the castle and the strip club coming from girls and the batthouse and Void Quest coming from guys, but the lab…” She pauses, considering her wording. “The lab doesn’t feel like either.”

He feels his brow furrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to describe. I can just tell if one of these TV worlds was created by a boy or by a girl. They feel different. But this one doesn’t have that distinct feeling. I can’t sense any sort of gender in here.” Then, like she’s trying to change the subject, she asks, “Why is Yu-senpai so angry?”

“I think he feels responsible for Shirogane being kidnapped,” Kanji says. “He really hates it when people are in danger, and I think he thinks we made Shirogane too curious about the case. I’ve seen him saying Shirogane might’ve gotten himself kidnapped on purpose, so he probably feels guilty about it.”

She blinks at him again, then smiles. “You’re a lot more perceptive than you get credit for, Kanji-kun.”

Her praise gets caught in his throat and he thinks his heart beats a little faster. He’s saving from commenting when Satonaka-senpai says, “Hurry up, you two! We’re leaving!” and they have to move on.

* * *

 

Shirogane-kun’s Shadow is  _ fast. _ Almost distressingly fast. Rise can barely keep it in her sights from her place away from the battlefield.  _ I wish I could fight with them, _ she thinks, biting her lip.

**You are needed here,** Himiko says, gentle.  **They need you to make the right observations.**

_ I just get so nervous watching them. _ The Shadow gears up for a Mabufudyne, and Rise breathes a sigh of relief when Yukiko-senpai manages to dodge it.  _ They put themselves in so much danger, and I can’t do anything to help. _

**You would not be here if you were not useful. Your mission is much too important for that, and your leader knows it.**

_ And what if Teddie hadn’t awakened to his Persona? _ Rise asks, eyes firmly locked on Yu-senpai as he prepares one of his more powerful magic attacks.  _ The team doesn’t need two navigators. _

**Worrying about “what-if’s” will only bring you misery, my love.**

_ So you admit that you don’t know. _

**I have never pretended to be omnipotent.** Chie-senpai goes down, hard, and Kanji-kun has to drag her away from the direct line of fire to help her back up. Yu-senpai decided it would be a good idea to distribute healing items equally across the whole team for moments just like this.  **I am an advisor, but I am not all-knowing.**

_ Well, that’s not very helpful. _ Despite Yukiko-senpai’s vocal protests, Chie-senpai rushes back into the fray. Rise squints.  _ I think Shirogane-kun’s Shadow is almost done. _

The Shadow falls. Shirogane-kun’s Persona awakens. Kanji-kun catches him when he collapses, and Rise tries to ignore her twinging heart.

* * *

 

“I don’t really feel like a boy  _ or _ a girl.”

It’s been a few days since Naoto’s rescue, and they can’t believe they’re doing this. These people have been interfering with a police investigation and lying about what they find. The big one—Tatsumi—has known violent tendencies, and the Amagi girl is from one of the most respected families in Inaba. They have no idea how open these people are to complications in gender!

The idol, Risette, lets out a little cheer. “I knew it!” she says, rounding on Tatsumi. “I  _ told _ you something was different!”

Tatsumi makes a placating noise at her and the other girl, Satonaka, hisses, “Rise, have some  _ tact!” _

Hanamura snorts.  “Like you’re one to talk. You kicked me in the balls for scratching your DVD.”

“That was a  _ collector’s edition! _ I had to save up for  _ three months _ to afford it!”

“That doesn’t mean you need to get violent about it!”

“Yeah, it kinda  _ does!” _

To Naoto’s surprise, Amagi is the one to say, “Stop it, you two! You’re scaring Shirogane…” She trails off.

Naoto realizes she’s waiting for them to supply a suffix and says, “Shirogane-san.” Then, after a pause: “Or, you could call me Naoto, if you prefer.”

Their silver-haired leader, Narukami, signs something Hanamura translates as, “Welcome to the team, Naoto-san.”

They blink at how easily these relative strangers have accepted them. “So you don’t mind that I’m—” they don’t have the word “—like this?”

Several members of the team exchange bland looks. Tatsumi says, “I’m bi, Rise’s pan, Narukami-senpai is gay, Hanamura-senpai is bi—” Hanamura squawks at this. “Shut it, senpai, it’s obvious. Amagi-senpai and Satonaka-senpai are dating each other—” here, Amagi and Satonaka go red— “and Teddie…”

The last member of the group, a pretty blond boy Naoto has never seen in their life, says, “I like pretty people!”

“We’re not sure what Teddie is,” Tatsumi finishes.

Risette smiles, too broad and too happy to be anything but honest. “You’re in good hands with us, Naoto-san.”

Naoto does  _ not _ cry, no matter how hard they want to.


	17. Delightful Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for the festival! I changed a few things up. I hope you enjoy!

‘Is this really the time to be worrying about a school festival?’

Yosuke has the nerve to look  _ offended. _ ‘The team needs the morale, Partner! As long as we keep checking the Midnight Channel, what’s the harm?’ They’re in Yu’s uncle’s living room doing homework, and even though Nanako is taking her bath upstairs and his uncle is at work, Yosuke keeps using sign language. It makes Yu feel warm. ‘You could use a distraction, too. I can tell how stressed you’ve been lately.’

Yu sighs, because Yosuke’s right. All this waiting makes him antsy. He almost wishes the killer would make a move so they could get a lead. But that’s probably a bad thing to hope for, so he doesn’t bring it up. Instead, he signs, ‘Is that why you signed the girls up for the pageant?’

‘The only other two people signed up were Hanako and Kashiwagi-sensei.’

Yu makes a face that makes Yosuke laugh. ‘Are teacher even allowed to do that?’

Yosuke shrugs. ‘There’s no rule against it. I think Kashiwagi-sensei is the only one who’s ever tried.’

‘How does she even still have a job?’ Yu asks. ‘If she were a male teacher, she would’ve been fired a long time ago.’

‘King Moron didn’t exactly give the school a lot of time to find a replacement. Besides,’ Yosuke adds, ‘we just have to deal with her for a few more months. She won’t be teaching third years next year, so we’re safe there.’

Yu’s heart almost stops. ‘Yosuke,’ he signs, fingers heavy, ‘I won’t be here for our third year. I’m going back to Tokyo.’

Yosuke’s face falls. “Oh, yeah,” he says aloud.

Lighthearted conversation effectively ruined, they return to their homework.

* * *

 

The group date café is just as awkward as Chie thought it would be. She doesn’t even get to sit across from Yukiko because the class rep is here, so she has to look at Kanji instead.  _ At least Kanji’s trying, _ she thinks, suppressing the urge to glare at the class rep.

Then Yukiko answers a question with, “My favorite hobby is defeating Shadows,” and Chie’s stomach drops. Yosuke rushes to cover it up and Chie, to change the subject, says the girls will ask the next question. Yukiko asks, “What kind of girls do you like?”

Yu, who has been a little downtrodden, looks Yosuke in the eyes and signs, ‘Yosuke.’

Yosuke goes red and averts his eyes.

* * *

 

‘You didn’t seem too surprised about the crossdress pageant,’ Yukiko signs to Yu as they walk to the home ec. room to ghim changed. They’ve already done his make-up (not that he needed much—he’s pretty for a boy) and borrowed a silver wig from the drama club room. All that’s left is finding the perfect outfit.

Yu signs, ‘I figured some revenge was coming. Yosuke really railroaded you guys, and Kanji and I didn’t try to stop it.’

‘What were you thinking in terms of costume?’ Yukiko asks as she pushes the door to the home ec. room open.

Their eyes fall on it at the same time and they  _ know. _

* * *

 

Yosuke feels exposed in a way he  _ really doesn’t like. _ “How do girls  _ wear _ these?” he hisses at Chie, tugging at the bottom of the pink skirt he’s been forced into. “One wayward breeze and everyone will be able to see my nads!” He bends at the knees to scratch at his shins. “And these socks are itchy as hell!”

Chie gives him a quick smack on the arm. “Cut that out! You’ll flash everyone!”

“Well, you should’ve given me a longer skirt!”

“Stop complaining! I have to wear a bathing suit in front of the entire school thanks to you!”

“You’re scaring the emcee,” Rise says,  a laughing tone in her voice, and Yosuke and Chie turn around and see her walking up the short set of stairs leading from the floor to the stage, leading Kanji who is, for some reason, dressed like Marilyn Monroe. His knees are slightly bent and he keeps swinging his hips to watch the white skirt of his dress swirl around him. Yosuke can barely keep  himself from laughing.

Chie cranes her neck to look around them. “Where’re Yu and Yukiko?”

Rise shrugs. Kanji says, “Amagi-senpai says it’s gonna be a surprise,” in his usual deep voice, which is extremely inappropriate for his current appearance.

Rise’s phone buzzes, and she laughs when she reads the text. “Teddie is giving Naoto-san some trouble,” she says. “He wants winged eyeliner and they don’t know how to do it.” She flips her phone closed and tilts her head up to look at Kanji. “Do you mind if I run and help? I’ll be sure to vote for you even if I’m not back before the whole thing starts.”

Between the layers of makeup and the dimly-lit backstage it’s hard to tell, but Yosuke things Kanji is blushing. “Go help Naoto-san,” he says. “No one should stand alone against Teddie.”

Rise laughs again and scurries away. Chie glances at her own phone and says, “I better go, too. I gotta save a place for Yukiko when she finally shows up.” She levels a glare at Yosuke. “Don’t flash anyone!”

The emcee doesn’t wait much longer before he starts the pageant, even though Yu and Teddie still haven’t arrived. From his place off stage, Yosuke hears him ask “Kanji-chan,” “What would you say is your best feature?”

“My eyes,” Kanji replies, and the crowd laughs.

“An eloquent heiress of thee noble Junes,” the emcee says, “she’s pure disappointment from the moment she opens her mouth!” Ouch. Rude. “Presenting Yosuke-chan of the second year class two!”

Feeling more awkward than he’s ever felt in his life, Yosuke walks to stand next to Kanji and, meek, says, “Hi.”

The crowd gets noisy again, and Yosuke wants so badly to retreat.  **Calm yourself,** Jiraya says in his mind.  **This moment will not define you unless you let it. Relax. Let yourself have some fun with this.**

He takes a deep breath and nods, mostly to himself. When the emcee asks if he normally dresses like this, he giggles and says, “It’s not my usual style. The skirt is a little too short for my taste.” And this time, when the crowd laughs, Yosuke somehow knows they’re not laughing to be mean—they’re laughing because they think he’s funny.

“We’re laughingstocks up here!” Kanji hisses in his ear over the din.

“No,” says Yosuke, “we’re the only ones with enough balls to go through with this.”

The emcee suddenly brightens. “She has the mildly bitter tang of the city,” he says, “and her lack of a voice has only made her more endearing! Presenting our transfer student who’s been breaking hearts in the second year class two, Yu-chan!”

It’s instinct that drives Yosuke to turn his head, so seek Yu out, and his heart drops when his partner comes into view.

Because Yu looks goddamn  _ beautiful. _

It’s obvious he and Yukiko took this more seriously than the others. He’s wearing a light colored kimono detailed with a likeness of Mt. Fuji, and his silver wig has been styled and pinned into place with an ornate hair ornament. He carries himself with a dignity Yosuke didn’t think was possible when crossdressing.  _ How is he so pretty? _ he asks himself.

Jiraya says,  **You should tell him how you feel before someone else takes him away from you.**

_ Him being gay doesn’t mean he’ll like me! _ Yosuke retorts.  _ You’re the one who told me that! _

**If you think this is the same kind of situation, you are far more oblivious than I thought.**

_ You’re supposed to be on my side here! _

**I am. You just don’t see it yet.**

Then Teddie blazes onto the scene dressed up like Alice in Wonderland, and Yosuke is jarred from his thoughts for the time being.

* * *

 

No one’s particularly surprised when Rise wins the real pageant. She knows the boys and Naoto-san tried to spread their votes evenly between her, Chie-senpai, and Yukiko-senpai, but the rest of the school didn’t care. And, sure, maybe she used some of her Risette charm, but she’s a competitive girl. So sue her.

She and the other girls put their school uniforms back on and they meet up with the rest of the team. Rise grabs one of Kanji’s arms and one of Naoto-san’s, linking them together in a chain. “The festival’s almost over. What should we do now?”

Before anyone can answer her, Yu-senpai’s uncle drops Nanako-chan off with them. She’s delighted; she loves Nanako-chan. Everyone on the team does. It’d be hard  _ not _ to love such a cute, innocent little girl. Nanako-chan hangs onto Yu-senpai’s pant let as they discuss what to do next, and when Yukiko-senpai offers the inn and hotsprings to them, she smiles hard and wide enough to shame the sun.

Kanji-kun swings Nanako-chan up on his shoulders as they walk to the bus stop, with Naoto-san walking on one side and Rise on the other. “Do you want to take a bath with the girls or with the boys?” Rise asks Nanako-chan.

Nanako-chan screws up her face to think and says, “The girls. Onii-chan already takes a bath with me sometimes if I’m really sad, so I wanna try taking a bath with girls for a change!”

A thought suddenly occurs to Rise and she leans forward to look at Naoto-san. “Who do you feel comfortable bathing with?”

Naoto-san opens their mouth to reply, but Nanako-chan interrupts. “Naoto-niichan should take a bath with the other boys!”

Kanji-kun looks ready to say something when Naoto-san speaks instead. “Nanako-chan,” they say, “I look like a girl, and I dress like a boy, but I don’t feel like either. Since the Amagi Inn only has girl bath times and boy bath times, Rise-san wants to know when I would like to take my bath.”

Nanako-chan seems confused. “If you’re not a boy, I can’t call you Naoto-niichan, and if you’re not a girl, I can’t call you Naoto-neechan. What can I call you, then?”

And Rise can’t help but laugh, because  _ of course _ that’s what Nanako-chan would be worried about.

* * *

 

There’s something a little strange about Onii-chan’s friends, Nanako thinks.

They’re all very nice! They treat her well, not like a nuisance like her dad’s work friends do sometimes. But none of them really look like they should be friends. Nanako has never seen a TV show where a delinquent becomes friends with an idol, or where the son of a big store like Junes becomes friends with a detective. But her teachers always say not to judge based on looks, so maybe this is actually normal.

Then she gets in the bath with some of them.

It’s the girls’ turn first, so Nanako lets Onii-chan help her into her yukata when they get to the big room everyone is sharing. He smiles at her like he’s saying “Have fun!” and she’s whisked off by the girls and Naoto-san. (Nanako doesn’t like calling them “Naoto-san.”   
It makes them sound old, like someone her dad would go drinking with. She has to find something else to call them.)

After they wash, Yukiko-neechan helps her put her hair up so it doesn’t get in the hot water. “You can wear your towel in the water,” she says as she tucks one corner of Nanako’s fluffy white towel against her skin to keep it secure, “but you don’t have to.” Nanako notices that Yukiko-neechan’s towel is a lot looser than her’s. She probably won’t wear it in the bath.

Rise-neechan doesn’t even bother wrapping her towel around herself. She just holds it against her front to hide her bathing suit parts. Her skin is really pretty, Nanako notices. Pale, no moles or freckles. Is her skin nice because she’s an idol? Or is she an idol because her skin is nice?

Nanako pauses at the edge of the bath, and, after some deliberation (seeing all the other girls doing it), drops her towel.

Rise-neechan, she sees, is the only one with perfect skin. 

It’s not as obvious with Naoto-san, because they’re still wearing their towel, but everyone but Rise-neechan has scars. They’re small, for the most part, little silvery lines almost completely faded. If they weren’t all naked, Nanako would have never noticed. Chie-neechan has the biggest; it’s in the middle of her chest, where a bathing suit that wasn’t a bikini would cover it, and it looks kind of like a burn mark.

No one talks about the scars. They talk about how soft Naoto-san’s skin is, or exams, or the school festival, but no one mentions the scars.

Anything but the scars.

So, yeah, Onii-chan’s friends are a little strange, because the girls and Naoto-san are all so pretty and pretty people shouldn’t have scars.


	18. Cold and Hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy April Fool's Day! To celebrate this holiday centered around jokes, here's the Heaven chapter. I made a last-minute edit in this chapter so it might seem even more rushed than usual, and I didn't focus too terribly much on canonical scenes because, well, we all know what happens and I'm sure the last thing anyone needs right now is to go through that trauma again. This edit did make the next chapter a little longer than it was going to be, so look forward to that!
> 
> A few personal notes: I just watched Into the Spider Verse yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm late to the game, so sue me. But it's just a breathtaking movie and I don't regret buying it at all.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter! Like I said, I know it's probably rushed, but I added a few things to set up future fics and I hope you'll come to appreciate it when you see the payoff.

Before moving to Inaba, Yu never saw the inside of a police station.

Now it’s been twice.

He writes  I want an interpreter on a scrap piece of paper he had in his pocket and shows it to his uncle, whose scowl only deepens. “You know we don’t have anyone here who knows JSL,” he says, jaw clenched so tight Yu can barely see his lips move. “Just write it down.” He gestures to the crisp piece of paper he gave to Yu when they first got here.

Yu has seen enough television to know this is a paper for confessions, so he pulls another loose piece of paper—this one a receipt from the bookstore—and scribbles  I’ve done nothing wrong.

“Then why are you so nervous?” his uncle asks, and Yu wants to bash his own head against a wall. At least now he knows where his mother’s stubbornness comes from. He moves to find another peice of scrap paper when his uncle stiffens and turns to the door. After a moment of what must be a discussion, the guard on the other side of the door opens it up.

His uncle must say something, because Margaret says, “I am here to act as Narukami-kun’s interpreter.” Ignoring his uncle’s sputtering, she rounds the interrogation table to sit primly in the metal chair next to Yu’s. She signs, ‘Are you okay?’

Yu wants to ask questions, but there will be time for that later, so he signs, ‘It’s almost midnight.’

Margaret nods. ‘Let’s get this moving, then.’ She turns her head to look at his uncle and says, “Are you going to sit down, Dojima-san? It’s late, and I’m sure you want to get this over with as much as Narukami-kun does.”

And so starts Yu’s interrogation.

* * *

 

The boys are so angry Naoto is surprised they don’t leap into the TV immediately.

They’re angry too, of course, but this anger is mostly directed at themself.  _ I should have seen the signs!  _ they think.  _ Of course people would open the door for a delivery man. Narukami-senpai does enough TV shopping that Nanako-chan must be used to getting packages for him. And that politician visited Nanako-chan’s school and got her on the news. Why didn’t I see it before? _

**Pitying yourself will not help the girl,** Yamato Takeru says in their head.  **Focus on the task at hand.**

So, while the others watch for the paramedics and police, Naoto begins searching.

* * *

 

They reach the end of Heaven more quickly than Chie thinks they’ve ever moved. The team is laser focused, using their anger to fuel their progress.

She’s worried about Yu, though. He’s burning himself eyes. His eyes are manic, constantly shifting, searching for Nanako-chan. She hates to say it, but if they don’t save Nanako-chan, he’ll probably be broken beyond repair.

**So don’t let that happen,** Tomoe says.

Chie grits her teeth and replies,  _ We won’t. _

* * *

 

The fight against Namatame is terrifying, for many,  _ many _ reasons. 

Rise watches with clenched fists as Teddie is taken over and forced against their friends once more. The beginning of the fight was bad enough. Namatame is like Naoto-san’s shadow in that he knows powerful spells in each element, so they were already on the defensive. But then this absolute—excuse her language— _ dick _ decided to whip out some nonsense mind control spell. The effects wear off quickly enough, but not until the damage is done.

Teddie snaps back into control of himself with his claws digging into Yukiko-senpai’s arm. He draws back immediately and Rise hears him start to apologize. “No time, Ted!” Yosuke senpai shouts, force-feeding an unconscious Kanji-kun a revival bead. “Rise, are we close?”

“He’s getting desperate, so I think so. Are you okay, Yukiko-senpai?”

It takes a moment for Yukiko-senpai to respond, “I’m fine! I’ve had worse.”

“Then let’s finish this!” Naoto-san says.

And they do.

* * *

 

Nanako-chan looks so  _ small. _

Sure, Yosuke knew she was only six ( _ seven now,  _ he thinks,  _ her birthday was in October) _ before this whole fiasco started, but she always seemed way more mature than most kids her age. Now, pale and weak in a hospital bed, her age is all the more prevalent.

Yu is at the hospital every day from the time school ends until visiting hours are over. If Yosuke doesn’t have work, he joins him.

He hates seeing Yu like this: hunched over a hospital bed, holding a tiny, limp hand in his own, shaking and trying to stay calm. He wishes he could help. He taps on Yu’s shoulder and signs, ‘Do you need anything?’

Yu bites his lip, averts his gaze, and then signs, ‘You being here with me ig good enough.’

Yosuke swallows. Hesitates. Then he lowers himself into a chair next to Yu’s. Slowly, giving him time to pull away, he takes one of Yu’s hand in his own and gives it a gentle squeeze.

After a moment, Yu squeezes back.

* * *

 

No.

_ No. _

This  _ can’t _ be happening.

Kanji roars and punches the hospital wall. Rise, Satonaka-senpai, and Amagi-senpai are all weeping, and Naoto looks  _ wrecked. _ Senpai is hunched over a nearby water fountain, looking sick, and Hanamura-senpai, helpless, lays a hand on his back. Teddie, for once, is silent.

Senpai’s uncle—Nanako-chan’s father—emerges from her hospital room, broken, and shambles down the hallway. When Kanji learns from that dumbass Adachi that Namatame is in this hospital too, he’s more than ready to help in whatever revenge he has in mind.

_ The bastard’s gone too far this time. No one should have touched Nanako-chan. _

Take-Mikazuchi rumbles in agreement.

* * *

 

Teddie doesn’t follow the others when they race out to take their revenge. Instead, he stays in Nana-chan’s room, staring down at her body, too pale and too still and too small, and he wonders where he messed up.

Because this happened in  _ his _ world.  _ His _ home. His sensei’s precious little sister, his wonderful little friend, is dead, and all because of something that has been brought about by the world Teddie calls home.

Tears prick at his eyes. He touches one of Nana-chan’s hands (and it’s cold,  _ so cold) _ and says, “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Nana-chan.”

And then he closes his eyes and he disappears.

* * *

 

_ Nanako is dead. _

Yu doesn’t really notice that his feet are moving. Yosuke, holding his wrist, is the only thing propelling him forward.

_ Nanako is dead. _

All he can think of is how scared Nanako was, how she kept trying to talk to him, the way her hand suddenly went lifeless in his.

_ Nanako is DEAD! _

Yu blinks and suddenly Namatame is in front of him. Rage twists in his gut.  _ This man killed Nanako. _ The room has a TV in it, bit enough to shove Namatame through, and Yosuke and Kanji are already moving forward to do just that.

**Are you sure you want this to happen?** Izanagi asks.  **Think. You know something isn’t right.**

So Yu does his best to clear his head and he  _ thinks. _ Namatame seems convinced he was saving people he saw on the Midnight Channel, and he never mentioned the reporter or Konishi-senpai, the two victims who actually died. And even now, after being told Nanako is dead  _ (deaddeaddead—) _ he slumps, as if defeated.

Izanagi is right. Something isn’t adding up here.

Yu puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles, and everyone looks at him.

* * *

 

Elsewhere in the hospital, a little girl coughs and breathes in, and a once-stopped heart begins beating again.


	19. Planting a Seed of Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I hope you all had a great week last week.
> 
> This chapter has a cameo in it! Let me know if you can find it. I'm not tagging it, though, because it's such a small part in the overall story and I don't want to piss off fans of the other fandom (which is still part of the SMT series but still very much its own work). I'm planning a future fic which will be a series of important encounters, and one of those encounters will be the cameo scene from the cameo characters' POV, so it'll be more obvious then.
> 
> Not a lot of plot happens here. Most of it is the Kanji/Rise/Naoto plot starting on the road to resolution, with a smidgeon of plot at the end, but I hope you like it anyway. Please let me know what you think, and I'll see you next week!

Kanji-kun walks Rise home. He usually does, since his mother’s shop and her grandmother’s shop are so close together. But where their walk is usually filled with happy chattering, this one is silent.

She knows he’s thinking about what happened with Namatame, so she asks, “Are you okay?”

“I almost killed someone,” Kanji-kun replies, voice thick. Then, the words seem to tip him over. “Holy shit, I almost killed someone. I was just gonna toss him in the TV and let him  _ rot. _ What the hell is  _ wrong _ with me?” He stops walking, hunches his back, buries his face in his hands. “God, how am I supposed to live with this?”

“Kanji-kun,” Rise starts.

He whips his head up to look at her, and his eyes are bright, almost feverish. “They were right about me,” he says, sounding distant. “I’m just a violent, no-good  _ thug—” _

“Kanji-kun, stop!”

But he doesn't hear her. He just keeps going. “It’d be better for everyone if I wasn’t here! Ma, the team, you… you’d all be better off if I was dead!”

She grabs his head and flares right into his eyes. “You listen to me, Tatsumi Kanji,” she says,  _ “never _ talk about yourself like that again. You’re such a good person, it makes me feel bad about myself sometimes. The fact that you’re feeling guilty now is  _ proof _ you’re a good person. Besides,” she adds, “Naoto-san is the one who suggested throwing him in the TV, and the rest of us were just going to let you do it. Doesn’t that make us just as bad?”

“Doing something terrible and not stopping something terrible from happening are two different things.”

“But it’s still bad!”

“Not as bad as me.” He tries to turn away from her. “You should go. You guys don’t need me anyway.”

Rise feels like she’s panicking. Her heart is racing a mile a minute and it’s hard to breathe and she needs to  _ fix this. We need you, you’re part of the team, you’re family, I love— _ “I love you!”

Kanji-kun freezes and, realizing what she’s just said, so does Rise. She snatches her hands away from his face and clasps them behind her back like they hold the words she just spoke and Kanji-kun won’t notice if he can’t see them. When he swallows, it audible, and he says, “You… love me?”

_ Well, _ she thinks,  _ here goes nothing. _ “I know you like Naoto-san, but, yes, I do. You’re my best friend and you make me so happy I could burst. My day gets better every time I see you. When I think of moving back to Tokyo, my chest gets all tight and I know it’s because you wouldn’t be there with me. I love you.”

He doesn’t respond right away. He staring, unblinking, mouth agape. She starts to back away. “I’m sorry,” she says, “I know you like Naoto-san, I shouldn’t’ve said anything—”

One of his arms catches her around her waist and draws her close to him again. She’s too surprised to resist, even if she wanted to, so she stares up at him instead. His eyes are dark and his breathing is heavy, and suddenly his mouth is on hers.

She melts, relaxing in his hold and responding to his kiss. It’s clumsy, the way their mouths move against each other. Despite what a lot of people think,  _ this _ is her first kiss, and she doubts Kanji-kun has much experience outside of the disastrous King’s Game. What this kiss lacks in skill it more than makes up for in passion. Kanji-kun kisses her like he’s suffocating and she’s made of pure oxygen. It’s this intensity that convinces Rise he’s not kissing her out of pity—there’s no way he doesn’t want this as much as she does.

When they part for air, Rise doesn’t move out of the circle of his arms. “I like you, too,” Kanji-kun says, and his voice cracks a little with his admission. “If that wasn’t obvious.”

She giggles. “When did you stop liking Naoto-san?” she asks, curious. She could’ve sworn he was still harboring his crush on them just a few days ago. Rise likes to think of herself as a pretty perceptive person, after all, and she wants to know why she missed a change in affections.

Kanji-kun says, “I still like Naoto. I just like you, too.”

And Rise is crushed.

_ Of course he still likes Naoto-san, _ she thinks.  _ Of course. _ She breaks away from him and runs into the tofu shop before he can protest.

In her room, she cries into her pillow.  _ He doesn’t like me. He just thinks I’m hot. That’s all I am, really. Something nice to look at. Naoto-san is smart and cool and confident on top of their good looks. I’m just a pretty girl who can sing and dance. _

Himiko tries her best to comfort her.  **Love is complicated, my dear. He may very well be able to hold feelings for two people at once.**

_ I’m still his second choice, _ Rise thinks.  _ Maybe I’m just doomed to fall for people already in love with someone else. _

And Himiko has nothing to say to that, and Rise cries until she falls into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

Kanji feels like a  _ goddamned idiot. _

Senpai is out there looking for a serial killer by himself, and here’s Kanji, wallowing in self-pity because he can’t choose between two people to like. How fucking juvenile.

He’s watching the shop for his mom today because she’s working on a custom order. Some people from Tokyo want new kimonos for New Year’s, and they offered to pay extra if she got all three done by pick-up, which is today. “I just have to finish the embroidery,” she’d wheedlesd when she caught him trying to leave. “Help your mama out for a few hours? I’ll make my homemade mochi for New Year’s if you do!” Kanji resisted the urge to point out she was going to make the mochi for herself anyway.

So here he is, tapping his fingers on the wooden counter of his mother’s shop and trying to figure out where he fucked up with Rise.

Because he likes her. He  _ really _ likes her. He just also likes Naoto. And he  _ thought _ Rise liked Naoto, too; she was constantly tugging them, playing with their hair, grabbing them by the wrist to drag them along.

_ But she was so upset when I said I like Naoto, _ he thinks, remembering Rise’s pained face.  _ Why? Doesn’t everyone like more than one person? _

Take-Mikazuchi, bless him, tries to help.  **WOMEN STRANGE. HANDLE EMOTIONS DIFFERENT THAN MEN. YOU SHOULD TALK TO HER.**

_ I would if she would answer my texts. _ He glances at his phone, tucked under the counter. He’s sent her various apologetic texts, but has yet to receive a response. In fact, the only text he’s gotten all day was from Hanamura-senpai, wondering if he’d seen Teddie since Nanako-chan’s “death.”

He’s spared from another one of Take-Mikazuchi’s suggestions when the bell above the door rings, signalling a customer is here. His spine straightens on instinct and he says in the most polite voice he can muster, “Welcome to Tatsumi Textiles.”

There are three customers standing there, two men flanking a woman, and Kanji somehow knows these are the customers whose order is mom is working on. Take-Mikazuchi has gone quiet in his head, letting him focus, and one of the men approaches the counter. “We’re here for the Kashima order,” he says, and his voice has a strange hold over Kanji.

Before Kanji can respond, his mom pops her head into the shop from her work room. “Ah, Kashima-san, Tachibana-san, Nitta-san! I just finished up with Tachibana-san’s kimono. Would you like to come try it on?”

The woman nods. The man at the counter looks over his shoulder and says, “Isamu, go help with her arm.” It’s only then that Kanji notices her right arm, hanging unnaturally still at her side.

The other man gives a two-fingered salute while the woman—Tachibana-san—huffs. “I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself!” she says with the air of a person who has said this particular phrase many times before.

“Humor us, Chiaki,” the man next to her says. He puts his hand at the small of her back and steers her to the work room behind Kanji’s mom.

Once they’re gone, the first man looks at Kanji again. “Are you Tatsumi-san’s son?”

“Yeah,” Kanji says. “Tatsumi Kanji.”

The man reaches to shake his hand, “Kashima Naoki. It’s nice to meet you.”

Kanji echoes Kashima-san’s sentiment. Then, after a moment, he asks, “Why did the three of you order all together?” When he saw the order a few weeks ago, he’d figured it was a family, not three unrelated people.

Kashima-san, his face blank, says, “They’re my lovers.”

Kanji’s jaw damn near  _ drops. _ “Y-You’re cheatin’ on ‘em?”

“It’s only cheating if they don’t know about it. Our relationship is three-way; we’re all with each other.” Kashima-san shrugs. “It may seem strange, but it makes us happy.”

Kanji suddenly has even more to think about.

* * *

 

Naoto is sitting by Nanako-chan’s bed when they get the text.

At least one member of the team sits with Nanako-chan during the afternoon, if they can. Their company seems to cheer her up; Naoto thinks she must be lonely when they’re at school.

They’re peeling an orange for Nanako-chan to eat, and Nanako-chan says, “I think I know what I can call you.”

“What?” Naoto asks. They start cutting the orange into small pieces.

Nanako-chan beams. “I’ll call you Naoto-ue! That’s kind of like ‘onii-chan’ and ‘onee-chan,’ right?”

Naoto sets the dish of orange slices on Nanako-chan’s bed and, on impulse, ruffles her hair. “I think it’s great.”

Nanako-chan grins for a few more seconds before turning serious. “Onii-chan is looking for the bad guy, isn’t he, Naoto-ue?”

“You’re a smart girl, Nanako-chan,” Naoto says, because they can’t really say anything else.

Before Nanako-chan can speak again, the door to her hospital room slides open and an elementary school boy with an arm full of papers steps in. His eyes light up when they fall on Nanako-chan. “Hi, Nana-chan!” he chirps, walking towards the bed. He sets the papers on the bedside table, which Naoto knows was used as Yu-senpai’s footrest as he slept in the chair the night before until the nurses kicked him out. “I brought you some homework so you don’t fall behind!”

Nanako-chan groans good-naturedly. “Thanks. Oh, Daichi-kun, I should introduce you to Naoto-ue!” Daichi-kun seems to have just now noticed Naoto’s presence. “Naoto-ue, Daichi-kun is my classmate from school. Daichi-kun, Naoto-ue is one of my big brother’s friends. Naoto-ue’s a detective!” Naoto feels their chest fill with affection at the proud tone in Nanako-chan’s voice.

Daichi-kun makes an appropriately impressed sound and spends a few more minutes talking to Nanako-chan before moving back towards the door. “Get better soon, Nana-chan!” he says as he leaves. “I still need your help in home ec.!”

“I think Daichi-kun likes you,” Naoto teases gently once the door is shut behind him.

Nanako-chan considers this. “Do you like anyone, Naoto-ue?”

Naoto’s mind flashes to a battered boy with bleached hair and a pretty girl with dark pigtails. “Yeah,” they say, “I do.”

Then their phone buzzes. The text is one short line, but it sends their mind into overdrive. “I need to go now, Nanako0chan,” they say, trying to maintain their composure as they stand. 

One of Nanako-chan’s small hands grabs onto one of Naoto’s. “You’re going to Onii-chan, right? Keep him safe.”

Naoto swallows. “I will. You won’t lose him. I promise.”

“Pinky swear?” She extends her other hand, pinky out.

“Pinky swear.”

They hope they can keep this promise.

* * *

 

> **[Narukami Yu] → [Hanamura Yosuke], [Satonaka Chie], [Amagi Yukiko], [Tatsumi Kanji], [Kujikawa Rise], [Shirogane Naoto]**
> 
> **[Narukami Yu]:** I know who it is.

* * *

 

Adachi knows they know as soon as he sees them approaching.

The only one with a decent poker face is Shirogane, after all. Tatsumi’s entire body is rigid, and Hanamura’s eyes are burning. The guys are all standing in front of the girls, protective. Adachi inwardly scoffs.  _ Stupid boys, thinking women need to be protected. Not like they can do anything outside of the TV anyway. I’m a cop and I have a gun. They’re useless. _

The hospital lobby is pretty much deserted. Not a great place for a confrontation like this. With no witnesses, it’ll be the word of a police officer against a group of high schoolers, and he’s pretty sure he knows which one adults will believe. He supposes he has Dojima to thank for the relative privacy; if the damn old man would have just stayed in his bed, the nurses would still be here.

But then Dojima shambles over, and Shirogane tricks him into mentioning the TV. Even as beaten up as he is, Dojima is a respected police officer, and the people will trust him over Adachi.

His jig up, he runs until he finds a TV large enough to jump through.  _ They want a fight? _ he thinks, feeling his version of Inaba construct around him.  _ I’ll give them a fucking fight. _

Deep inside him, he hears a dark laugh.


	20. Removing Doubts From My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! Did y'all catch the cameo in the last chapter?
> 
> Regarding the next few updates, I'm not sure if I'll update next week or not. I have chapter 21 completely written and chapter 22 in progress, but I haven't even tried to edit chapter 21 at all, so I don't think it's quite up to snuff. This coming week shouldn't be too busy for me, but I wanted to let y'all know in case I don't feel confident enough in chapter 21 to post it next Monday.
> 
> That being said, I hope you enjoy this update!

This place is nice, Teddie thinks. It’s calm in a way he’s not used to; the couches are nice and soft, and there’s plenty to eat and drink, and the oly sounds are the gentle purring of an engine and a soft aria and its accompaniment.  _ Maybe, _ he thinks,  _ it’s a little too nice for a bear like me. _

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting here when, between blinks, Sensei arrives. His heart thunder in his ears as he waits for Sensei’s anger (because it’s  _ his fault  _ Nana-chan is  _ dead) _ but instead Sensei looks relieved. He fumbles around where he sits catty corner from Teddie for a paper and a pen and starts writing.

We were all worried, the note Sensei slides to Teddie reads. Nanako recovered. She’s been asking about you. The writing is messy, like Sensei’s hand was shaking (like Teddie’s paws are now, because _Nana-chan is okay and she wants to see him)._ We found the real culprit. It’s Adachi, not Namatame. He has a place in the TV world, we think. Will you help us again?

Teddie’s floored. Not only is Sensei not mad, he wants his help again! Sensei is so kind, so still like a useless bear like him.  _ Well, _ he thinks,  _ if Sensei thinks I can help, I need to do everything I can, because he and the rest of the team are all I’ve got. _

Shaking, he puts one of his paws in Sensei’s hand, and he feels warm again.

* * *

 

_ Shit! _

Yu isn’t fast enough to avoid the Shadow and finds himself back at the entrance to Magatsu Mandala. The others are safe for now; they would have teleported out with him, otherwise.

Rise gives him a sympathetic smile. She moved to the Mandala’s entrance once they figured out the gimmick to better support them. She hands him a can of Mad Bull for his energy, and he eagerly downs it.

‘What’s up?’ he signs, noticing her somber face.

She’s gotten a lot better at signing, so she uses it to respond. ‘Don’t worry about me.’

‘You’re a dear friend. Of course I’m worried. You haven’t been yourself these last few days.’

Rise still looks reluctant. ‘It doesn’t just concern me,’ she settles on, ‘and it’s not my place to talk about it.’

That seems like an excuse to Yu. Before he can call that out, though, Yosuke and Naoto appear at the entrance with a flash of light, looking irritated, and he decided not to push any harder for now.

* * *

 

Yosuke somehow convinces his parents to let him stay at Yu’s place. He’s sure it has something to do with Nanako-chan and Dojima still being in the hospital, but he’s still surprised he gets to sleep over on a school night.

They have to make a pit stop at his place so he can grab pajamas and a new pair of underwear. Yosuke takes the opportunity to try to calm his racing heart. He has no reason to be getting all excited; he’s staying the night at Yu’s place to make sure he’s not alone because  _ his uncle and cousin are in the hospital, hormones, so chill out. _

_ Besides, _ he thinks,  _ I don’t even know if he likes me like that. _

**Because you’ve never asked.**

_ Who asked you? _

Yu rolls a futon out on his bedroom floor for him despite his protests. ‘The couch would have been fine,’ he signs when the deed is done. ‘I’ve slept on couches before.’

His friend shoots him a look. ‘This couch feels like cinder blocks covered in felt. I wouldn’t let a dog sleep on it, much less my best friend.’

_ Best friend. _

Sure, Yosuke’s known all along that Yu’s friendship with him is different than his friendship with the others. Yosuke was there  _ first.  _ Chie and Yukiko showed him around town, but Yosuke saw Izanagi first, fought alongside him first, supported him first. Of course their bond is a little different.

But it’s still nice for the actual statement to be made.

Yu still looks stressed, so before they turn in, Yosuke signs, ‘We’ll get him, Partner. We’ve done it before, and we’ll do it again.’

And when Yu smiles, it seems forced, but Yosuke still counts that as a win.

* * *

 

Yukiko feels absolutely exhausted.

Magatsu Inaba is rough, and she’s still the group’s primary healer, so her magic is really draining her. She’s burning through their supply of somas very quickly. Yu has never told them how much their supplies cost; Yukiko wonders how much money he’ll have to spend to replace what she’s using.

When she stumbles into the inn that night, her mother and father are busy putting up decorations for Christmas. They’re always pretty busy on romantic holidays, and not even a serial killer could put a stop to that. It’s a delicate art, blending Western-style Christmas decorations with a traditional Japanese hot springs inn, but it is an art the Amagi family has mastered over the years.

Oh,  _ crap. _

Christmas is coming up.

Christmas is coming up and  _ she has a girlfriend. _

She tosses her shoes in the shoe cupboard, takes a moment to wince at the clattering sound they make, and scurries to her room before her parents can scold her for it. 

Sure, Christmas probably isn’t something she should waste her time worrying about when she and her friends are trying to catch a serial killer in an alternate universe inside a television, but all this doom and gloom is making Yukiko insane. It’s not  _ her _ fault Adachi decided to go on a killing streak! And it’s not like she  _ asked _ for a Persona.  _ No offense, _ she thinks at Konohana Sakuya.

**None taken,** her Persona replies.  **You have the right to be angry about your situation. Had things gone differently, you would not have to worry now.**

So Yukiko lets herself think about Christmas.

She wants to do something for Chie. If Chie remembers about Christmas, it can be an exchange, and if she doesn’t, it can be a pleasant surprise. But what could she buy for Chie? She doesn't have enough spending money to get that new  _ Trial of the Dragon _ box set or exercise equipment, and any kind of jewelry in Yukiko’s price range wouldn’t interest her. Maybe they could go out for steak? But they already go to Aiya’s at least once a week, so that’s not really special enough for Christmas.

**A gift need not be material,** Konohana Sakuya reminds her gently.  **There are many things you could give to her without spending any money.**

Yukiko flushes at the implication, but has to admit it’s a good idea.  _ But only if we catch Adachi before Christmas, _ she insists.  _ We don’t need another distraction. _

**Then you had best work hard.**

_ We will. _

They still have to get revenge for putting Nanako-chan in the hospital, after all.

* * *

 

Rise knows she’s being a coward about this whole thing. She could argue that she’s focusing on catching Adachi or improving her navigational skills or her studies, but the truth is that she’s avoiding Kanji-kun and Naoto-san out of embarrassment,

And she misses them.  _ God, _ she misses them. Setting aside romantic attraction, they’re her best friends. She misses eating lunch with them, misses walking home with Kanji-kun, misses texting Naoto-san for homework help. But how can she even try to act like everything is normal?

Part of her wants to blame Kanji-kun for kissing her. At least before then it was easy to pretend. Pining, she thinks, is easier than having feelings reciprocated.

They’re almost to Adachi, Rise thinks, when Yu-senpai calls it quits that day. She’s been getting more and more uncomfortable the further in they go; Adachi isn’t fond of women in the slightest, and this place he’s constructed doesn’t hide his distaste. And the door they stop in front of so Yu-senpai can use the GoHo-M  _ radiates _ misogyny.

They say goodbye to Teddie, who’s seemed much more confident in and comfortable with himself lately, and make their way back to Junes. ‘Rest up,’ Yu-senpai instructs. ‘We have a big day tomorrow, and we all need to be at our best.’

“You rest up, too,” Chie-senpai says. “You’ve been staying late at the hospital, right? Sleeping in those chairs can’t be good for your back.”

Yu-senpai gives her a wry smile. ‘I’ll be sure to find a chiropractor—’ he finger spells “chiropractor” so they all understand— ‘when I get back to Tokyo.’

Out of the corner of her eye, Rise sees Yosuke-senpai wilt. But then he puts on a smile and signs, ‘Come on, Partner, my mom told me to invite you to dinner tonight. She says she’s worried you’re not eating enough.’

Yu-senpai nods and allows himself to be led away. Rise tries to slip away while the others are focused on their leader but she’s stopped by calloused fingers curling around her wrist, pulling her arm taught. “We need to talk,” Kanji-kun says in her ear, voice low, and she has to suppress a shiver.

Rise looks over Kanji-kun’s shoulder. Yukiko-senpai and Chie-senpai are speaking to each other with quiet voices and Naoto-san is on their phone. “Not now,” Rise says, her voice thick. “Tomorrow’s too important. We can’t get distracted.”

Kanji-kun releases her wrist, and she pulls it to her chest, like she’s trying to protect it. “After, then,” he says.

“And you should talk to Naoto-san first.”

His brow furrows. “Why?”

“Because you liked them before you liked me.”

“Fucking  _ Christ, _ Rise,” he says, and Rise’s surprised by the annoyed tone in his voice. “Of course I liked them first. I  _ met _ them first! Don’t take it as a goddamn insult.” He stops, mindful of everyone around them. “But you’re right. We shouldn’t talk about it right now. We’ll have plenty of time once Adachi’s rotting in a jail cell.”

Rise nods and flees.

* * *

 

Yu is bleeding when Adachi falls. He can’t see it under his black uniform jacket, but he can feel it, seeping gently from a wound above his ribs. He wonders if it’ll scar.

Adachi was mostly focused on him throughout the fight. Yu thinks he figured out he’s been the leader the whole time and got angry, and that anger was only further aggravated when Yu summoned Izanagi.

Because Adachi’s Persona was  _ also _ Izanagi.

A dark form of Izanagi, granted, but Izanagi nonetheless. Yu would know Izanagi anywhere; he’s part of him, after all. 

_ I’ll have to have a word with Margaret and Igor about that, _ he thinks, eyes locked on Adachi, who still looks like he wants to fight.  _ Did you know about this? _

**No,** Izanagi says in his mind, and, for once, he sounds unsure of himself.

Yu loosens his grip and lets his sword fall to the ground. He stumbles, woozy, and it’s only Yosuke’s arms under his arms and around his waist that keep him from collapsing. Yosuke’s fingers feel for his wound and Yu feels his chest vibrate with a shout. He feels Yukiko’s cool healing magic wash over him seconds before his vision goes dark.


	21. Something Keeps Me Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! I hope y'all had a good week! This chapter covers Christmas Eve, and the next chapter will cover Christmas. I'm hoping to keep this under thirty chapters, and after that the next entry in this series is going to be a one-shot (maybe a two-shot, depending on how long it ends up being) about the Tatsumi Port Island trip from the P3 protagonists' perspective. After that will be a series of one-shots detailing important meetings between characters in this 'verse, and THEN it will be Persona 5's turn. 
> 
> In personal news, I started watching Mix: Meisei Story, and I got my poor friend into Cross Game. He was up watching it all night and sending panicked texts to our group chat. Then I remembered how much I missed baseball anime and I started re-watching Princess Nice. Ahhh, the nostalgia.
> 
> That's enough about me, though! I hope y'all enjoy the chapter, and I'll see you next week!

The fog is gone.

That’s all Chie can think, staring at the clear blue sky. She didn't’ realize how much she missed it.

She, Yukiko, and Rise have been tasked with escorting Yu home while Kanji, Yosuke, Naoto, and Teddie take Adachi to the police station. Yukiko managed to stop the bleeding and Yu is awake again, but he’s still weak, and he still needs to be patched up. “No cooking!” was Yosuke’s only demand as they dragged him away. “You can help him with anything else but all of you  _ stay _ out of the kitchen! He’ll never feel better if he eats your food!”

The girls manage to get Yu upstairs and into his bed with only a little difficulty (they’ve been getting stronger in the TV, too), and Yukiko, who’s had to deal with drunk and sick guests before, strips him down to his underwear. Chie feels sick to her stomach when she sees his bloodstained shirt and the nasty scratch on his side, but Yukiko is all business. She sends Rise to the bathroom downstairs for the first aid kit and Chie to get washcloths and a bucket of warm water.

They’ve had to do stuff like this before. Magic can’t heal everything, after all, and they can’t risk going to the hospital with their injuries because their parents would find out. Everyone but Rise, who isn’t combative, and Teddie, who can’t manifest his human form in the TV, will have scars for the rest of their lives.

Chie and Rise step out into the hallway while Yukiko works, and Chie sends Yosuke a text to let him know they got Yu home safe. She wishes she could’ve gone with them—seeing Adachi face the music for herself would’ve been cathartic as  _ hell. _ But they all know Adachi would be harder to control if the girls went; he was angry and hurt and he would be more liable to lash out if they were there due to his rampant misogyny.

To distract herself, Chie turns to Rise and says, “We should wash those clothes for him when Yukiko’s done in there. Could you take that shirt to Kanji after we get that stain out for him to mend? The jacket, too.”

Rise seems to retreat in on herself. “Uh… I…” She can’t finish what she wants to say.

“Hey.” Chie wraps an arm around Rise’s shoulder and squeezes. “What’s up? We should be  _ celebrating. _ What’s eating at you?”

As if the words have been waiting to escape her throat, Rise says, “Kanji-kun kissed me the night Nanako-chan almost died, and then he told me he likes me  _ and _ Naoto-san, and now he wants to  _ talk _ about it and  _ I don’t know what to do.” _

_ Aaaaand now she’s crying. Crap. _ Chie exerts a little pressure against Rise’s back with her arm. “How about we go downstairs to talk about this? We don’t wanna distract Yukiko, right? Maybe we can do some practice for tomorrow!”

Still shaking, and with tears in her eyes, Rise nods, and Chie leads her down the stairs.

* * *

 

Yu’s still in no shape for visitors, even after Yukiko’s done with them, so the team decides to postpone their debriefing for another day. Yukiko and Chie walk a teary-eyed Rise back to her grandmother’s shop. They make small talk with the older woman to distract her from her granddaughter’s emotional distress and, out of the corner of her eye, Yukiko sees the calendar on the desk.

December 24.

Christmas Eve.

Heart in her throat, Yukiko decides to give Chie her gift.

They leave the tofu shop and head for the bus stop. The shopping district is pretty empty, considering the date and the fog having disappeared, so Yukiko risks slipping her hand into Chie’s. Chie goes red and squeezes back.

The bus won’t be coming for another ten minutes or so, so they settle against the side of a shop facing towards the road to wait. Chie’s phone buzzes with a text and a delighted smile crosses her face when she reads it. “The police arrested Adachi!” she says. “Yosuke showed them a bruise on his neck from the fight and Adachi admitted to hitting him, so he’s getting charged with  _ at least _ child abuse. Maybe even assault.”

“Do you think he’ll get charged with the murders?”

Chie squints at her phone. “Naoto seems to think so. The courts are aggressive when it comes to multiple murders, they say. He might even—” Chie stops, face suddenly pale. She takes a deep, gulping breath. “He might even get the death penalty.”

“Oh,” says Yukiko.

On one hand, she feels relieved. The man who organized her kidnapping with the intent for her to die is going to be punished for his crimes, and, if found guilty of everything he did, will never be able to hurt people again. No one else would have to suffer like her and her friends have because of Adachi. But on the other hand,s she and the people she loves most in the world have delivered a man to his possible death. An evil man, a man who has done horrible things, a man who chose to do wrong—but also a man who was a child. Once, with parents and friends. Does anyone really have the authority to kill anyone else?

Chie must notice Yukiko’s conflict, because she says, “I’m  _ glad. _ I  _ hope  _ he hangs. I’d kill him with a rusty spoon and take relish in it.” Yukiko looks at her girlfriend, eyes wide at the bloodthirsty tone in her voice. “He almost took you away from me. I’ll never forgive him for that.”

Yukiko squeezes Chie’s hand. “Oh,” she says again, and decides not to give Chie her Christmas present just yet.

* * *

 

Mama Tatsumi lets Rise into Kanji-kun’s room without much fuss. She’d stuffed Yu-senpai’s shirt and jacket in her bag before she left his house, and had only returned to her grandmother’s shop to wash her face and make herself look presentable. “I’ll send him right up as soon as he gets home!” Mama Tatsumi says, eyes twinkling. “Make yourself at home!”

Rise settles on a cushion near Kanji-kun’s desk to wait and grips at the straps of her bag until her knuckles turn white. Would he even want to see her? She thinks she made him mad yesterday; who could blame him if he tells her to get out?

**Stop thinking like that,** Himiko says.  **You will accomplish nothing but making yourself more stressed.**

Rise knows better than to argue at this point (Himiko always wins, anyway) so she nods and takes a deep breath.  _ Calm down, _ she tells herself.  _ It’s Kanji-kun. He deserves an honest conversation about this. _ The nasty, doubting voice in the back of her head tries to speak up, but she squashes it.  _ I’ve had just about enough of this whole “self-doubt” thing, _ she thinks, and her anger is justified by Himiko’s pleased hum.

She hears heavy footfalls rushing up the stairs and before her heart has time to accelerate in anticipation, Kanji-kun is throwing open his door, face red. “Rise.”

Rise raises a hand in a weak greeting. “Hi, Kanji-kun.” The tail end of her words lilt up, making it sound more like a question than anything else.  _ God, _ she feels like an idiot. She just saw him a few hours ago! She has  _ no _ reason to be acting so shy. When Kanji-kun doesn’t reply, she reaches into her bag to retrieve her excuse. “I, uh, brought Yu-senpai’s clothes for you. To mend, I mean, not to wear. They got pretty beat up during the fight.” She sets the shirt and jacket on his desk. “We did our best to get the blood out before it got too stained, but none of us can sew as well as you can.” 

Kanji-kun doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. He just keeps staring at her. And she’s used to being stared at, but somehow this is different. Because usually the stares are an annoyance, but Kanji-kun’s means something else.

Steeling herself, Rise says, “I like you a lot, Kanji-kun, but I refuse to be someone’s second choice. I’m worth more than that.” Carefully, because her legs are on the verge of falling asleep, she stands. “My agency is pushing. Asking if I’m coming back to idol work. And I love my work, but I think I love you more. I’d give it up for you.” Her throat burns from the truth coming from her lips. “But you have to make a decision.” She moves to leave the room.

His fingers curl in the crook of her elbow and she stops. “Tomorrow,” he says, voice rough. “After the Christmas party at Senpai’s.”

Her breath catches in her throat. Somehow she manages to say, “Okay.”

* * *

 

Yu knows this is stupid of him.

Like,  _ really  _ stupid. It’s almost midnight and he’s still pretty beat up, but here he is, walking through the streets of Inaba towards the Velvet Room.

The others are planning a Christmas party at his uncle’s house for tomorrow. It’s supposed to be a surprise for him, but as much as he loves his friends, none of them are good at sneaking around. Sure, he’s deaf, but that doesn’t stop him from noticing the decorations Chie tries to hide in the linen closet or the dirtied mixing bowls left on the drying rack from the girls’ practice.

He slept for most of the afternoon and, as a result, can’t fall asleep now. This sleeplessness led to irrational thoughts, which has led him here.

Margaret is surprised to see him. ‘It’s late,’ she signs, ‘and you were injured today.’ He doesn’t bother asking how she knows that, because he knows he won’t get a straight answer. ‘You should be resting.’

Yu shrugs. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’ She glances around. ‘Is Igor away again?’

‘His master called to him.’

He feels his eyes widen. ‘Igor has a master? I thought he was the one in charge.’

‘Igor does not have as much power as you think he does. He is little more than a doll his master created.’ She pauses, like she’s giving him time to reply, then continues, ‘I am still loyal to Igor, as he is my master, and I am loyal to you, as you are my guest. I have no such obligation towards Igor’s master. I will stand by you before I stand by him.’

‘That’s… good to know,” Yu signs after a pause, head spinning.

‘Forgive my rambling.’ Margaret looks embarrassed now. She probably hadn’t meant to reveal so much. ‘Was there a reason for your visit aside from insomnia?’

‘I feel restless,’ he admits. ‘It’s hard to believe it’s over. I mean, I’m happy Adachi’s going to answer for his crimes, but something tells me this isn’t over.’

‘Trust your instincts. Wild Cards tend to be more observant than usual. Don’t give up your pursuit of the truth because things seem to be complete.’

He breathes out a sigh of relief. ‘Thank you. I thought I was just being paranoid.’

Margaret’s lips turn up in a smile. ‘I’m happy to help. Was there anything else? You really should go home and get some rest.’

‘My friends and I are having a Christmas party at my uncle’s house tomorrow,’ he signs. ‘You can come by if you want.’

Something flashes in her eyes, too quick for Yu to read. ‘Maybe. Good night.’

‘Good night.’ Yu blinks and he’s back in Inaba, suddenly much more tired than he was before. He yawns and starts the trek back home.


	22. Baby, I Need Your Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's long, my friends.
> 
> With the P5R trailer out, I did a lot of thinking about how it would fit into Individuation, and I wrote up a quick mini-essay/rant on Individuation's tumblr [here](http://https://individuationfic.tumblr.com/post/184531913468/the-p5r-dilemma). It's a little too stream-of-conciousness to really be an essay, but I wanted to write something about it, so there you go. It'll also give you a few hints about what's coming up in Individuation's version of P5, so check that out if you're interested!
> 
> In the meantime, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Nanako can’t stop smiling.

She’s home, finally. The nurses at the hospital were nice, but she missed home. And her daddy and Onii-chan and all of Onii-chan’s friends are here, too, and her hospital room wasn’t big enough for all of them. She feels like her family is finally coming together.

The cake the girls (and probably Kanji-niichan; she remembers the omelettes they tried making once) made is really yummy. She hasn’t had good dessert since before she was in the hospital, and it tastes so sweet she could cry. And the doll Teddie-niichan gave her feels good in her lap, even if her daddy doesn’t understand it. Her kidnapping feels like it happened a lifetime ago.

Until someone knocks on the front door.

_ It was the usual delivery man. Onii-chan said not to open the door for strangers, but she’s seen this delivery man a lot, so he’s not a stranger. She blows her nose, throws the tissue away, and answers the door. The delivery man’s smiling at her, but he doesn’t have a package, and then suddenly his hands are grabbing her shoulders and pulling her away from the house, and then he covers her mouth with a washcloth and she feels sleepy, really really sleepy— _

Teddie-niichan’s hand on her shoulder makes Nanako realize she’s gone tense. Onii-chan and Yosuke-niichan have gotten up to answer the door, but everyone else is looking at her with worried eyes. “Sorry,” she mumbles, face heating.

“Don’t be,” Yukiko-neechan says. “It’s okay to be scared, Nanako-chan. You went through something really scary.” 

Nanako takes a deep breath. “It’s just a door,” she says, trying to convince herself that’s all it is. 

Onii-chan and Yosuke-niichan return, followed by a pretty blonde lady in a blue dress. Her daddy makes a weird noise in his throat. “You’re that interpreter!”

The lady smiles. “Yes. My name is Margaret. I have been helping Narukami-kun and his friends in their investigation. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Nanako twists around and sees her daddy blush. Then she looks at Onii-chan and sees the playful gleam in his eye. She takes a minute to think, then decides she wants to get to know Margaret-san better.  _ After all, _ she thinks,  _ she might be my new mommy soon. _

* * *

 

Rise meets Kanji-kun and Naoto-san at the shrine about an hour after the party ends. She’d stayed behind to help clean up and give Kanji-kun and Naoto-san some privacy to talk first. Plus, she can’t deny how funny it was to watch Dojima-san tripping over himself in front of Margaret.  _ I still can’t believe Yu-senpai is playing matchmaker. He doesn’t seem the type. _

**It may have been a mistake,** Himiko says.  **He probably didn’t realize his uncle would be attracted to her until she came in.**

_ Yeah, _ Rise admits,  _ that makes more sense. _

Kanji-kun and Naoto-san are sitting side by side on a bench near the shrine when Rise arrives. Even from this distance Rise can see how their fingers brush against each other, the blush on their cheeks, and her heart sinks.  _ I’d better prepare for a rejection. _

When he sees her, Kanji-kun stands and motions for  her to take his seat/ “Did you two have a good talk?” she asks, hoping they can’t hear the emotion trying to invade her voice.

“Y-yeah!” says Kanji-kun.

“It was…  _ enlightening,” _ Naoto-san says.

“And your decision?” Rise keeps her chin raised. She’ll be damned if she isn’t graceful in this. No matter what, they’re her best friends. They deserve happiness, even if it isn’t with her.

“I’ve been doin’ a little research,” Kanji-kun says, “and I think I know a way we can  _ all _ be happy. Rise, have you heard of ‘polyamory?’”

The word seems familiar. “Like polygamy? I know there’s an American TV show about a man with four wives, but I’ve never watched it.”

Naoto-san snorts. “Don’t. It’s a garbage show.”

“It’s similar,” Kanji-kun says. “Except in our case it wouldn’t be me having two partners. It’d be all of us having each other at the same time. Like, uh, a three-way relationship. That’s a good comparison, right?” This last part is aimed at Naoto-san, who nods in approval.

Rise’s chest tightens. “What are you saying?” She stands, legs shaky. “I—that’s not how relationships  _ work!” _ She turns on Naoto-san. “And you’re  _ okay _ with this?” She’d come here expecting a rejection, expecting her two best friends to find happiness and love in each other, but here’s Kanji-kun, proposing what sounds an awful lot like an emotional threesome.

Naoto-san opens their mouth to respond, but it’s Kanji-kun who barrel in. “Three people came to Ma’s shop a few weeks back,” he says. “Two guys and a lady. The one guy—he’s the one who gave me the idea. He said it works for them. It makes them happy. They all love each other, so they’re all together. And.” He pauses here. Licks his lips. “And I love both of you. I don’t know if I could ever be happy with just one.”

“That surprisingly selfish of you,” Rise says, a little breathless. “I didn’t know you could  _ be _ so selfish.”

“And I never expected you to be so stubborn,” Kanji-kun rebuts. “Naoto sees my point. Right, Naoto?”

Much to Rise’s shock. Naoto-san nods. “I like you both,” they say, “and I’m more than happy to share you with each other.”

Rise’s knees feel weak, so she sits back down. Her hand lands atop one of Naoto-san’s.  She doesn’t pull it away. “How would this even work?” she asks after a few seconds.  Kanji-kun says, “Communication. Lots of it.”

Naoto-san’s fingers twitch under hers until they’re entwined on the bench. “All three of us will have to be on the same page,” they say. “It wouldn’t be like an open relationship or anything like that. We’d all be committed to the entire thing.”

“People won’t like it,” Rise says. She squeezes Naoto-san’s fingers. Their hand is warm.

“Fuck ’em,” says Kanji-kun. “The important people won’t care.”

“What about marriage? Kids? Won’t this complicate things like that?”

Naoto-san exhales in a way that doesn’t quite hide a laugh. “Do you worry about things like that every time you contemplate a relationship? We’re high schoolers. Rise; concerns like that are a long way off yet.”

She blushes.

“The important thing right now,” Naoto-san says, “is whether or not this relationship is something you want. I know you like Kanji, but…” They sound shy now, and Rise can feel the sweat on their hand. “Do you like me?”

When Rise swallows, she knows the others can hear it. Then,very quiet, she says, “I think I do.”

Kanji-kun and Naoto-san both breathe out sighs of relief. Kanji-kun sits on the edge of the bench, barely even really touching it, and leans his weight onto Rise/ The touch fills her with warmth, just as Naoto-san’s did. “That’s a fuckin’ relief,” he says, and Rise can’t help but laugh. Then he says, “What will you tell your agency about work?”

“I won’t hide you,” Rise says. “Either of you. I’ll miss being an idol, but it’s not worth more than you guys. Besides,” she adds, “as long as I keep practicing my singing and I stay in shape, I can become an independent singer when I’m older. I’ll have more freedom that way.”

“I’d hate for us to be the reason you quit, though.”

On her other side, Naoto-san hums, contemplative. “Just leave  _ that _ to me.”

* * *

 

It’s always weird to see Yukiko in her room, Chie thinks. The inn is more convenient most of the time, after all, but on Christmas Yukiko would be roped into helping out, so Chie offered her house for some private time.

Yukiko never seems to mind the mess, or that Chie’s room is so much smaller than her’s. She sitting at Chie’s desk, now, reading a book with so much intensity Chie’s worried she might set it on fire. None of their powers have bled over to the real world, but with how little they really know about Personae, it’s a possibility. Chie sets the two cups of tea she made for them on the edge of the desk to get Yukiko’s attention. “What’re you looking at?”

Yukiko blushes but closes the book so Chie can see the cover. It’s a university guide. “We’ll be third years soon,” she says, “and my parents have been asking about college plans, so I picked this up.”

Chie’s stomach drops. She hasn’t put much thought into the future this year, what with all the supernatural shenanigans. Her parents are gonna be on her  _ ass. _ “What are you gonna study?”

“Business would be best for the inn, but I’m not really sure I want to take over. I’ve been thinking about studying medicine instead.”

Chie laughs a little. Because that makes too much sense to not be funny. “You’re smart enough for it. And your parents won’t be able to complain about their daughter becoming a doctor.”

Yukiko sends her a fond look. “Do you know what you want to do?” she asks.

Chie sits on the floor facing her. “I dunno. Maybe I’ll go to the police academy or something. God knows I’ve had enough practice this year.”

She means for that last part to be funny (how long has it been since Yukiko has actually laughed?) but Yukiko makes a contemplative humming noise instead. “That’s good,” she says. “Police academies are pretty much everywhere. It shouldn’t be hard to find a school with a medical program close to you.”

Chie startles and feels herself start to flush. “W-what?”

It’s Yukiko’s turn to blush as she realizes she spoke aloud. “Oh—uh—I mean…” She takes a deep breath,  as if to calm herself, though her cheeks remain a fiery red. “I was sort of hoping we could move in together after graduation.” Chie finds herself at a loss for works, which Yukiko must take as a rejection, because she quickly continues. “I know it’s a long way off, and we might not even still be dating then—I mean, I  _ hope _ we are, I like dating you, I don’t want to stop—and I shouldn’t’ve said anything—”

Her body on autopilot, Chie surges up. Her fingers wrap around one of Yukiko’s slender wrists and Yukiko, surprised by the movement, goes silent. “I would love,” Chie says, her voice rough in her ears, “to move in with you after graduation.” And then, before she can chicken out, she presses her lips to Yukiko’s.

Itt’s clumsy, as far as first kisses probably go. Even when Yukiko starts to respond, there’s no real coordination. They just kind of mash their lips together a few times. When they break apart, Yukiko’s face is redder than it’s ever been and her lips look a little swollen and Chie thinks  _ I did that. _

Yukiko fists her free hand in the material of Chie’s shirt. “No fair,” she mumbles. At Chie’s confused look, she continues, “I was supposed to kiss you first.” Then, quieter, “It was going to be your Christmas present.”

Chie feels her heart swell. “Well. You could always kiss me again.”

Yukiko snort-laughs and Chie’s smiling so hard her cheeks hurt and then Yukiko is pulling her face back up and they’re kissing again and everything feels right.

* * *

 

Yosuke can’t help but smile as Nanako-chan wiggles along to the Junes commercial on the TV. He knows he needs to be getting home soon—it’s been dark for over an hour and he didn’t tell his parents he was going to be out late—but it’s hard to tear himself away. They’ve all be worrying about Nanako-chan for so long. He almost forgets he’s just a normal kid sometimes.

A plate clatters to the floor, startling him.  _ Oh, right, _ he thinks when Yu’s puzzled face turns to look at him.  _ I’m helping with the dishes. _ ‘Sorry, partner.’ He bends to retrieve the plate and starts at it with his drying towel.

Yu shakes some excess suds from his hands. ‘What’s on your mind?’ he signs. ‘It’s not like you to be so distracted?’

Yosuke sets the plate on the counter to buy time. ‘I’m just glad Nanako-chan is okay.’

Yu raises one eyebrow.

‘Fine. I was wondering what you were like as a kid.’ He knows he’s blushing, and he prays Yu won’t comment on it.

He doesn’t. ‘Before I got sick,’ he signs, ‘my parents say I was a lot like Nanako. Cheerful, energetic, a little shy. Apparently I used to fake being sick to get to to miss work. That’s why—’ His hands stutter and his face falls.

‘Why what?’ Yosuke refuses to let him retreat in on himself. ‘Talk to me, partner.’

Yu glances at the living room to make sure Nanako-chan isn’t paying attention before he continues. ‘That’s why my parents caught it late. They thought I was faking again.’ He doesn’t have to clarify what “it” is. Yosuke knows Yu’s deafness stems from a childhood sickness; it’s been brought up a few times. But Yu keeps going. ‘My hearing was already going when they finally took me to a hospital. And the medication—it took the rest of it away. So, really,’ he finishes, ‘it’s my own fault I’m deaf.’

Yosuke frowns. Yu looks as nonchalant as he usually does, but Yosuke can see the real emotions underneath. “Hey,” he says aloud, mindful of the volume. Then he continues signing, ‘I like you the way you are.’

Yu’s smile is painfully tender. So much so that Yosuke is actually glad when someone knocks on the front door. In the living room, Nanako-chan whimpers. Yosuke signs, ‘Someone’s at the door. Go comfort Nanako-chan; I’ll answer it.’

Yu nods and moves to calm Nanako-chan down, giving Yosuke an excuse to escape.

The person on the other side of the door is one Yosuke’s seen around but never actually met. “Ah, Yuki-senpai, right? What brings you here so late?”

The third year raises an eyebrow. “I could ask you the same. This is Narukami’s house, right? There are a lot of things two teenage boys could be doing together after dark…”

Yosuke flushes. “Point taken. Wait here, I’ll go get Yu.”

Together they manage to convince Nanako-chan to go get ready for bed, promising a story and cuddles when they’re done talking to their “friend,” and then Yuki-senpai is sitting at the kitchen table. Yosuke, absurdly, thinks he should put on some tea before he remembers this isn’t actually his house. Instead he looks to Yu so he can start translating. “Why are you here?”

Yuki-senpai’s face remains blank. “Can’t a guy come wish his schoolmate a Merry Christmas?”

Yu’s bland stare needs no translation.

“Fine.” Yuki-senpai leans across the table to he can lower his voice. “You guys did good, getting rid of the fog, but don’t get too comfortable. There’s always a bigger fish to fry. Complacency could get you killed.”

_ Well, _ thinks Yosuke,  _ that’s cheerful. _

Jiraya chooses then to speak up.  **He’s correct. Were the danger truly gone, I would be, too.**

_ What? _

**Personae exist to counteract threats. When the threat is gone, we’re no longer needed.**

Yu’s snapping breaks Yosuke out of his own head to he can translate again. “You’re a veteran Persona user, right? Have you ever seen two people wield the same Persona?”

Yuki-senpai frowns. “No,” he says. “I—have  _ you?” _

“Adachi had a version of Izanagi.” Yu’s face twists. “It felt wrong, seeing someone else use him. Even Izanagi was confused.”

“I’ll look into it,” Yuki-senpai says. “That doesn’t sound good. In the meantime, your team should continue combat practice. At least once a week, I’d say.” He stands. “I won’t keep you any longer. Merry Christmas.”

And then he’s gone, and Yosuke and Yu have a child to put to bed and many, many things to think about.


	23. It's a Long Road

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry I didn't update last week. It was finals week for me so things were really rough. It's officially summer now, though, so I hope to devote more of my time and energy to Individuation. As always, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

It seems like the next few months are on fast forward. With the fog gone and Adachi facing trial, the town has new life breathed into it. The shops are open later, the shrine is busier, the people are happier. Yu looks at the now-alive Inaba and thinks,  _ We did something good. _

They take Yuki-senpai’s advice and keep going into the TV about once a week. It’s a good way to earn extra money, at least, and Yu still can’t shake the feeling this whole ordeal isn’t over. Plus Yuki-senpai said basically the same thing on Christmas.  _ Complacency could get you killed. _ He and his friends have brushed with death altogether too many times to not take advice like that seriously.

Naoto, Rise, and Kanji’s relationship becomes something of an open secret within the group The three first years never make an announcement, but they’re always touching each other, whispering in ears, sitting close enough to brush. Yu once caught Rise sitting (quite innocently, mind) in Naoto’s lap on the school roof. And considering he’d seen Naoto give Kanji a peck on the cheek the day before and Kanji catch Rise’s fingers with his own a week before  _ that, _ he’s pretty confident he knows what’s going on.

Chie and Yukiko have grown closer, as well. Even more than usual. They’re practically joined at the hip now, and Chie is more protective than ever. Yu shudders when he thinks about that poor Shadow that knocked Yukiko down the first week of February.

On Valentine’s Day, Rise and Yukiko rope Yu into helping them make chocolate. They commandeer the inn’s kitchen for a few hours, armed with aprons and printed-out internet recipes, and proceed to nearly destroy the place. If not for Yu, they probably would have burned the whole inn down.  _ It’s probably for the best that Yukiko doesn’t want to take over the inn,  _ he thinks.  _ Guests wouldn’t survive her meals. _

He sends them off for their dates and heads to Yosuke’s. Officially, it’s a pity party, the two of them and Teddie eating obligation chocolates and commiserating in their single-ness. Yu signs, ‘At least you don’t have to buy anything for White Day,’ and Yosuke laughs.

* * *

 

Near the end of February, Yu runs into Yuki-senpai again. He and Naoto are studying together in the Junes food court when the third year approaches them, looking a little queasy. “How’s the studying coming along?” Yuki-senpai asks.

Naoto, who Yu realizes has never met Yuki-senpai or Shiomi-senpai, goes stiff. Yu places what he hopes is  a comforting hand on their arm and starts to sign. ‘He’s okay. He and his cousin know about Personae. Translate for me?’ They nod, so he continues. “It’s going well, thanks. What brings you here?”

Yuki-senpai says, “Kotone, Theo, and I are leaving after graduation. We’re moving to Tokyo.”

Yu’s surprised. Not that they’re leaving—so is he, after all—but that he’s letting them know. “Why?” he asks.

“Something’s going to happen here during Golden Week. Kotone and I can’t be here when it does. And Theo’s coming because he and Kotone are getting married.”

_ Oh, _ thinks Yu,  _ that’s where the ring came from. _

“Elizabeth is staying,” Yuki-senpai continues, “so if you ever need any help, you can go to her. I know you have your own attendant but two heads are better than one.”

“I’m going back home after the school year,” Yu points out.

Yuki-senpai makes a face like he doesn’t believe that. “Don’t leave what you love if you have a chance to stay,” he says. Then he straightens, his face goes green, and he says, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go throw up.” He darts out of the good court, his bright yellow scarf following like a comet’s tail, and Yu and Naoto give each other puzzled looks, shrug, and turn back to their studies.

* * *

 

Rise approaches him one day during lunch, a piece of paper held carefully in her hands. “Can you proofread this for me,  Yu-senpai? Naoto-san helped me write but but I’d like an extra set of eyes.”

Ah, the secret project Naoto has been working on. They’ve been looking through a lot of legal-looking books lately. Yu accepts the paper.

_ Inoue-san, _

_ My year in Inaba has been wonderful, and I have learned much about myself and where I come from, but I feel I am ready to return to work. However, I do have a few conditions that must be met before I do. _

_ Firstly, I will no longer be forbidden from having private romantic relationships. This rule is frustrating and demoralizing, and I will not stand for it any longer. It should not be the job of a teenage girl to cater to the fantasies of grown men.  _

_ I will also no longer take suggestive contracts. This sexualization of myself has taken a toll on my mental health. I am a minor and I will only take jobs suitable to my age. _

_ Related to the above, I will not advertise, endorse, or otherwise support a product or a service I would not personally use. This would be a misrepresentation of how I am as a person and I will not lie to or manipulate the public. _

_ I believe my conditions are very reasonable and I will not waver. Please keep in mind, Inoue-san, that I can find work elsewhere if you find these conditions disagreeable. If you have any questions, you can find my legal representation with the Shirogane family’s lawyers. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Kujikawa Rise _

Yu grins. ‘You and Naoto did a good job,’ he signs. ‘Firm, but not outright threatening. Your agency would be idiots not to listen.’

Rise’s answering smile is almost predatory.  _ Yeah,  _ Yu thinks,  _ there’s no way in hell she’s not getting exactly what she wants. _

* * *

 

A week before the end of the school year, someone arrives at the Dojima residence.

Yu knows someone’s knocking on the door by the way Nanako goes all stiff. He ruffles her hair to reassure her. When he stands to answer the door, she grabs the back of his shirt and follows close behind.

It’s not anyone from the team. Yu knows this before he even stands up. They know what knocking does to Nanako, so they’ve taken to texting Yu to let them in. And it’s not his uncle; he wouldn’t knock to get into his own house. It  _ could _ be Yuki-senpai or Shiomi-senpai, but they’ve never been too interested in bugging him unless they have something important to say, so he doubts it. He opens the door.

There stands Narukami Hitomi. She was once a pretty woman, but age and motherhood and work have all taken their toll. Her hair is a shade or two darker than his uncle’s, but her grey eyes are all Yu. Shocked, he mouths the word  _ Mom?, _ and he lets himself be wrapped in her arms. 

He and Nanako lead her into the living room and Nanako, ever the little hostess, starts making tea. Yu scrambles for his notepad and pen and writes  Why are you here? Is something wrong?

“Sort of,” says his mother. Her eyes dart to Nanako in the kitchen. “Can we have this conversation somewhere else?” She looks nervous, which is not an expression he often sees on her.

Nanako’s a smart kid, and I don’t hide things from her. She’ll find out eventually.

His mother frowns but doesn’t argue. She squares her shoulders and says, “Your father and I are getting divorced.”

Yu’s not as surprised as his mother probably thinks he should be. Nanako looks shocked, but that’s most likely a reaction to the word “divorce” than any real emotion.  Who gets custody of me?

“We decided you’re old enough to pick for yourself,” his mother says, which really means  _ We didn’t want to pick so we’re making you do it. _ “Your father is taking the Tokyo apartment, so I’ll be staying here until you come back. I’m looking at a few apartments already and I’ll stay in a hotel until I can close on one when we get back to Tokyo.”

Did you ask Dojima-jiisan first? It feels weird to call his uncle that; he usually just calls him “Dojima,” but he’s not in the mood for a lecture on respect right now.

His mother scoffs. “I’m his older sister. Besides, this house is half mine, anyway.” It’s only then that Yu remembers this was his grandparents’ house, the house his mother and his uncle grew up in. He remembers, vaguely, that his uncle and Nanako moved in after Nanako’s mother was killed, as his grandparents had passed the year before. 

Yu’s phone vibrates and he remembers Yosuke was coming over. Eager to escape this conversation, he springs up from the table to answer the door.

* * *

 

Yu gives his bedroom up to his mother and sleeps on the floor.

When he wakes the next morning, Nanako has wriggled under his blanket and curled up against his chest, breathing soft and even.


	24. The Truth of My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all, I'm back!! Welcome to the last actual chapter of Seeking to Seize!
> 
> I'm sorry I took so long to upload this. I was just so unhappy with it that I put off writing it, and before I realized it two weeks had gone by, so I decided to just upload it anyway. I might go back and fix it someday, though. 
> 
> All that's left after this is a very short epilogue. I might upload that later tonight after work, or I might upload it later in the week. It depends on what you guys want.
> 
> Also, you may have noticed this, but I've added chapter titles!! I just took all the titles from songs from the Persona 4 extended universe, and I literally can't remember where they all come from, but I hope they're thematically appropriate. It makes it easier for me to keep track of chapters if they have titles, and I thought it might help you guys, too. Sorry it took so long.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

Yu’s leaving tomorrow.

If he wasn’t at work, Yosuke would be a mess. Yu’s come to say goodbye to him and Teddie and left, never once looking back towards Junes.  _ Is it silly to feel heartbroken over someone you’ve known for less than a year? _ he wonders, leaning against the handle of the mop he’s supposed to be cleaning with.

**No heartbreak is silly,** says Jiraya, **but yours could have been easily prevented if you bothered with communication.**

Yosuke groans.  _ Not this again. _

**Yes, this again. Your pain is unnecessary. You’ve seen how he looks at you, and he’s seen how you look at him. Why not act on your feelings?**

_ He was never going to stay! He was always going to go back to Tokyo! _ He forces his eyes open in an attempt to dry his gathering tears.  _ What’s the point of getting my hopes up if he was gonna leave anyway? _

**At least you’re being honest with yourself,** says Jiraya.

Yosuke snorts.  _ And look where that got me. Mopping the floor of a fucking Junes while the guy I love is walking away. _

Wait.

Shit.

_ Love. I love Yu. _

He screws his eyes shut.  _ Of course I only realize it when he’s walking away. _

**I wouldn’t be so sure about that.**

_ He’s gone, Jiraya. He said goodbye and he left. It’s over. _

**Then someone has taken his form, because he is walking right towards you.**

Yosuke’s eyes snap open and there’s Yu, walking with those determined eyes Yosuke has grown to admire. Yosuke rushes to meet him and Yu, eyes hard, signs, ‘Our fight isn’t over.’

They call in the calvary.

* * *

 

“That weirdo gas station attendant was a god the whole time?” Chie demands as the team makes their way through the first path high above Inaba. “But that doesn’t make sense!”

Naoto shoots her a bland look. “You’ve been jumping in and out of televisions to solve a murder mystery for almost a year and  _ this  _ is where you draw the line?”

Chie grimaces. “Touché.”

This last journey is strangely liminal, she thinks. It  _ feels _ like the TV world—fog and Shadows and anger and fear—but if she looks down and quints, she can see her house and the inn and Junes. If anything, it helps her focus.

They’re not here to save a specific person.

They’re here to save Inaba.

The team has stopped for a quick break. They have to conserve energy this time; today’s  _ it. _ There’s no going home to eat dinner and sleep off their exhaustion. No one will be able to truly rest  until this fight is done. 

Yu snaps and everyone turns their attention to him. ‘This will be the hardest battle yet,’ he signs. ‘Izanami wasn’t happy with me for figuring out her little game, and she’s more powerful than anything we’ve faced before.’

“Didn’t she give us our Persona powers, though?” Yukiko asks.

‘I don’t think she expected us to be successful with them.’ He pauses, eyes glazed over, and continues, ‘Izanagi says she honors her deals, and she’s mad because she might lose.’

“I dunno,” says Kanji. “Sure, we took down Adachi, but this is a fuckin’  _ god _ we’re talkin’ about here! Do we really have a shot?”

Rise smacks him on the arm and glares at him, but the damage is done. The team’s tension makes the already oppressive air thick. Only yu’s expression remains steadfast. ‘We’ve done the impossible before,’ he signs. ‘We’re stronger and faster and smarter because we kept fighting. This is the last fight. I can feel it. We take Izanami down, and we don’t have to worry anymore.’

“I’m with Sensei,” says Teddie. Chie notes Yosuke immediately translates this to Yu. “I grew a human body. That’s a god’s job, right? Making humans? If I can do what a god does. We can take her down, no sweat!”

This statement, like most that come out of Teddie’s mouth,  _ should _ be ridiculous. But it’s not. The mood lifts.

Yu smiles and continues his signing. ‘You guys are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. Do you know how I know we’ll win? Because we have each other and Izanami has no one. We are a great team, and we’re going to kick some ass.’ He extends a hand towards the center of the circle, his intention clear.

Everyone rushes to pile their hands atop his. They share grins.  _ These are my people, _ Chie thinks.  _ I’d do anything for them. _

Then something shifts inside her.  _ Tomoe _ shifts. Power floods her, invigorating her, and Tomoe isn’t Tomoe anymore, she’s… “Suzuka Gongen.”

“Susano-o,” says Yosuke.

“Amaterasu,” says Yukiko.

“Rokuten Maoh,” says Kanji.

“Kanzeon,” says Rise.

“Kamui,” says Teddie.

“Yamato-Takeru,” says Naoto.

Yu blinks at them, and Chie realizes he didn’t experience what the rest of them did. She wonders why.

* * *

 

**Your resolve has triggered a second awakening,** Amaterasu tells Yukiko when they begin moving again.  **It is not so surprising it happened to all of you at once. The power of Persona stems from relationships.**

_ What about Yu? _ Yukiko asks.

It sounds like Amaterasu scoffs.  **Wild Cards are dramatic, dear one. His second awakening will come soon enough. Now, I suggest you focus. A rather large enemy is approaching.**

Yukiko bites back a swear and readies for battle.

* * *

 

Kanji feels more than a little useless.

Something in the air here is messing with Rokuten Maoh. Senpai’s having trouble with Izanagi too, but he can always switch to a different Persona. Kanji’s stuck.

“It probably has something to do with Izanami,” Rise says when she catches him worrying at his bottom lip. He almost wants to laugh, because  _ of course _ Rise can tell what he’s concerned about. “She has a personal vendetta against Izanagi so she’s trying to dampen his powers. It just so happens that Izanagi and Rokuten Maoh use the same element.”

He sighs. “Doesn’t make me feel less useless.”

Rise reaches down to take his hand in hers.  _ “No one  _ thinks you’re useless, Kanji-kun. You help us even if you can’t fight. I’m sure everyone else agrees. We wouldn’t be the Investigation Team without you.”

Naoto, who’s currently in battle, looks over their shoulder to smile at Kanji and Rise. Kanji feels the heaviness in his chest ease up a little.  _ If the two people I love believe in me, _ he thinks,  _ I guess I better believe in me, too. _

* * *

 

During their next break, Rise makes sure both Naoto-san and Kanji-kun have plenty to eat and drink. She even gives up her share of snacks when Yu-senpai isn’t looking. She doesn’t need it as much as they do; they’re the ones who are helping with the fight, after all. They burn through energy more quickly than her.

“I think we’re getting close to Izanami,” she tells the group, fiddling with a granola bar wrapper so it looks like she ate. “If we’re going to double back for last minute supplies, we should do it now.”

Yu-senpai gestures and everyone turns out their pockets. It’s relieving to see how much they have left. All their breaks are paying off. There’s a quick shuffle as supplies are evenly redistributed, and then everyone stands up. ‘Let’s end this,; Yu-senpai signs, and they all nod.

* * *

 

Izanami cuts an imposing figure on this, their final battlefield. Izanagi and Tokuten Maoh are rendered effectively useless so Narukami-senpai is flipping through the vast array of Personae he keeps and Kanji has to rely on his fists and shield. In addition, Izanami’s attacks are powerful, so Teddie has to provide healing alongside Amagi-senpai so she doesn't burn out too quickly.

Naoto is already getting tired, and the more they hit Izanami, the angrier she gets. Her voice is loud and grates on Naoto’s ears. Out of the corner of their eye, they see Hanamura-senpai pulling his headphones over his ears, so they’re not the only one who thinks so.

Behind them, Rise gastps.

And then Izanami is changing, like their Personae, and she calls herself Izanami-no-Okami.

Narukami-senpai makes the sign for ‘guard,’ but it’s too late.

Amagi-senpai goes first.

* * *

 

_ Dying isn’t as painful as I thought it would be, _ Teddie thinks. Then, because he feels like he has to, he picks a direction and starts walking through the fog.

His head feels a little weird, like he’s forgetting something important he has to do. But he knows the fog, so he keeps walking while he tries to remember.

Eventually, he sees another figure, a boy in a school uniform with silver hair, sitting on the ground.  _ Sensei. _ Teddie rushes to his side.

Sensei looks relieved to see him, but he also looks… sad. Lost. He reaches a hand out, and Teddie lets him squeeze one of his paws. 

It’s then that Teddie remembers the fight, and all his friends, and Inaba. And if Sensei is still here, they have a chance, because there’s nothing Sensei can’t do. So, even though he knows Sensei won’t be able to hear him, Teddie says, “Let’s keep on fighting.”

And there’s a bright light that washes over them.

* * *

 

Izanagi is more, now. His friends made him more. He’s Izanagi-no-Okami. He can see Izanami-no-Okami raging, but her attacks don’t connect. Not anymore. Whatever she did to him only made him stronger.

He takes off the glasses Teddie gave him all those months ago and tosses them aside. He doesn’t need them anymore. The fog can’t cloud his vision ever again.

For what he thinks may be the last time, he summons the familiar tarot card from the air and crushes it with his fingers. Izanagi-no-Okami manifests at his back.  _ Izanami-no-Okami may be a god, _ he thinks,  _ but she’s fighting alone. I’m fighting for the people I love. _

**Then let us finish this, for them.**

Yu nods and attacks.

* * *

 

Izanami-no-Okami is gone. No one catches her.

Yu slumps over, spent. His friends carry him home.


	25. Epilogue: If I Get On This Train

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.
> 
> This is it. The end of Seeking to Seize.
> 
> Like I said, this epilogue is pretty short, but it did what I wanted it to do so I'm not too mad about it. In other news, I think this is the first multichap fic I've ever finished on AO3, so I'm pretty damn proud of that. 
> 
> The next installment in the Individuation series may be up this coming Monday, but it's not finished yet, so it might have to wait another week. In an attempt to appease my loving readers, I'll put the first sentence of the next part in the end notes. As always, I hope you enjoy, and thank you for joining me on this journey.

Yu doesn’t manage to pluck up the courage to ask until he and his mother are already on the train. It’s not moving yet, but his mother insisted on arriving early so they could get comfortable. He glances out the window, at his friends, at his uncle, at Nanako, at  _ Yosuke, _ and digs the paper he wrote his question on last night out of his pocket. Swallowing hard, he passes it across the small table between seats to his mother. 

You said I get to pick who I live with, it says.  I want to stay here. Inaba is my home now.

His mother blinks. Clenches her jaw. “You’re sure?” she asks.

Yu looks out at the people he loves and nods. He’s never been so sure about anything in his life.

She puts a hand over his and smiles. “I’m sorry your father and I couldn’t make Tokyo a home for you. If you really want to stay here, I’ll agree to it.” she blinks again, and this time, her eyes are a little wet. “E-mail me a list of things you want from the apartment so your father and I can send them to you. And I’ll come visit you for your birthday, if you’d like.”

Yu smiles at that. He’d spent this past birthday fighting Shadows; a visit from his mother would be much nicer. He nods.

His mother presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. “You’d better get going before the train leaves.”

He eagerly scoops up his duffle bag and barrels towards the exit. He passes Yuki-senpai and Shiomi-senpai sitting with Theodore on the way out. The cousins nod at him, approving. There’s a sadness in their eyes. Yu remembers Yuki-senpai’s words from the food court and wonders who they had to leave behind.

His friends rush him when he exits the train, questions on their lips and in their hands, but Yu pays them no mind. His eyes are for Yosuke alone. His best friend, his  _ first  _ friend, looks ready to cry. “You’re not leaving?” he asks, and his face says he doesn’t quite believe it.

Yu signs, ‘This is my home.’ Then, giving Yosuke plenty of time to move away, his hand cups the back of Yosuke’s neck. He lifts an eyebrow, though he’s not sure if it’s more of a question or a dare.

Yosuke sobs and surges forward, slotting their mouths together. He holds Yu like he’s precious, like he’s afraid Yu will disappear if he lets go. It’s everything Yu’s ever wanted and more, because it’s  _ real _ and it’s  _ Yosuke. _

He keeps the kiss short—Nanako’s watching, after all—but he doesn’t let go of Yosuke, and Yosuke doesn’t let go of him. Nanako holds onto his legs and their friend pull them all in for a hug.

There will be time for discussion later. There will be time for everything.

Yu is home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First sentence of It Was the Best Year:
> 
> "It's a cruel twist of fate, Kotone thinks, that they have to stay in the love hotel for their school trip."

**Author's Note:**

> Individuation on [Tumblr.](https://individuationfic.tumblr.com/)


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